Why...

MyHerbaLiving

I've been here before. Then all of a sudden all of the clothes in my closet no longer fit including the size 20 jeans I hid behind.

One day it will just "click" and you will find your motivation or motivation will find you.

Instead of "Why me?" ask "Why not change my life today?"

Hang in there...YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS!!! :flowerforyou:

JenKillough

I think once you say no a couple of times and realize it isn't "that bad" to do without X food/drink... and perhaps focus your attention onto something else when you do say no... it gives you a power and momentum to keep going. And if it's something that's making you feel bad, or unhealthy... it's just a no-brainer when you realize you are helping yourself :flowerforyou:

And... great questions! This is the nitty gritty & hard part of habit changing :drinker:

fromaquasar

Your brain is not a computer, it is thousands of impulses and processes that are often conflicting with each other, that moves you towards certain things based on trends, not on cohesive decision making. Very basically your brain has two distinct primary systems in it. A limbic system and a rational one.

Your limbic system is primal and instinctive. It moves fast. It responds exclusively to pleasure and pain. You rational system is slow, it's logical, it helps you reason out problems, it is based on logic.

Your rational system wants to lose weight and be healthy. It knows you will feel better at the beach etc. The long term reward will be worth it. BUT your limbic system sees cake, knows cake brings pleasure, eats the damn cake before you cna really think about it.

So what can you do? Align your limbic system with your rational system. If they both want the same thing you'll be better equipped to make decisions that lead you towards the goals you rational system has set.

Your limbic system is pretty basic. It doesn't respond to words. Or "don'ts". It responds to images and two positive and negative emotions. One of the MOST powerful things you can do to "programme" it is to visualise. Get images of scenarios where your goals are leading you two. E.g. on a beautiful beach, then imagine yourself there, calm and confident, happy with your body, able to run around etc. Really really imagine everything and all the feelings you get. Do that every morning (I keep my pictures in a book by my bed) and then all day your goal will be clear to both systems, your limbic system is essentially tricked by being given the pleasurable emotional experience your goal is leading to and you'll find it much much easier to work towards.

This is me condensing a **** tonne of neuroscience but the concepts are sound. If you have any interest in how your brain works in this way I'd recommend The Winners Bible by Kerry Spackman and Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (which is based on his Nobel Prize Winning work).

This isn't a magic formula, or switch to flick. But a good way to strengthen your brain and thoughts
Good luck x

sleepytexan

Many people have asked these questions. There is only one answer: You haven't decided to change yet.

And that's ok. Just make sure you take 100% responsibility for yourself and your decisions. Once you are ready, you will do it.

blessings.

Careygirl1968

I think most of us here with a lot to lose have asked those questions and more - I know I did. The answer I found is that I didn't care enough about myself to do what it takes. I put everyone/thing else first, so food became the one thing I would "do for myself" Then all things spiraled out of control.

One day I made the decision that NOTHING was more important than getting healthy. Instead of looking at the fact that I had more weight to lose than I wanted to keep, I took it one pound at a time, one victory at a time.

Different things work for different people. Search deep, and find the root cause within yourself, and find what it takes to help you overcome. Once you do, the weight will fall off. You CAN do it.

cricketcricket

I struggle with pretty much the same issues. It's so easy to just say 'tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow,' but then tomorrow never comes. I won't say that I have all the answers, because I still find myself falling into those same patterns. It's not easy to change the habits of a lifetime, but I think one of the things that has helped me get started is to be easier on myself.

Fitness isn't about just waking up one morning and suddenly having the resolve to change your entire life. Maybe it happens that way for some people, but for me it's taking it one step at a time and realizing that it's not just a singular choice to be healthy, but rather it's a million small choices every day. You try to make the right ones, and hopefully that gets easier over time as you build up those healthier habits. But sometimes you make the wrong choices, and the best thing to do in those situations is just move on. Don't beat yourself up; reflect on why you made that choice and what might help you make better ones in the future, and realize that every new choice is a new opportunity. It's so easy to just say 'Screw it, I've already messed up.' But instead, you have to just forgive yourself and resolve make the next choices better ones. To use a cliché'd sentiment “The measure of a man [or woman!] is not how many times he falls but how many times he gets up.”

In terms of actual suggestions, I would say maybe try to concentrate on one thing at a time. Make a commitment to only drink water for a week and take a 20 minute walk every day. It can be anything, but pick something small and just try to stick to it, and you'll be amazed how good it can feel to celebrate small achievements and how that can give you the courage to take on bigger challenges.

Hope this is helpful.

Alpina483

No I don't If I ate something that tops off my calorie allowance for the day (or the week) I know why I ate it - I wanted it
question is, what do I actually want...more.
Talking to myself too much is not helping

Besides, could it be that you are in 'all-or-nothing' thinking mode when it comes to changes?
What is it exactly that lasts only till lunchtime?

wolfsoul121

As others suggested, try not trying to cut out ALL of the bad stuff at once. Cut back slowly, one or two things at a time. When you go to the grocery store and you're in the check-out line, look at what you've got in there. If there is more than one bad thing in the cart, take one of them out. If there are more than 5, take 2 out, etc. Another thing to do is buy smaller sizes of the bad things you normally buy. If you drink a 2 liter of soda a week, then only buy one liter worth when you go to the store. When you get used to that, half the amount again, and again, until you're not getting it at all.

And I know there's no magical way for anyone to say this and REALLY mean it, but it really does come down to telling yourself, "I'm GOING to do this." Not even I CAN do this, but I'm GOING to do this. "I can" doesn't get anything done, so dig deep and get going!

Strive. Do. Be.

Agator82

Why are you beating yourself up so harshly? Changes in life should not be done all at once if you want to make a lasting change.. Instead you should pick one thing on your list and focus your energy on that goal (perhaps eating sensibly for a day). That way when your will power feels weak at lunch time you can go get a soda (preferably diet) and a healthy snack and conjure up all your will power to one goal instead of 5.

If you take the process a little slow over time you will have some success in your back pocket. At that time when you think about the treadmill you will be able to say, "I was successful at _________,, I can do this too!" You will know that you can do it and motivate yourself to the longer-term goals.

Getting healthy is not ALL or NOTHING, it is a little bit her and a little bit there, individual habits which are added over time to make you a more healthy person. Good luck!

Sumissa

Thanks guys... All your kind words and advice did motivate me today and i was able to do 1h of treadmill... I wanted to give up after 5 minutes mind you but then I kept thinking of all the support and advice and that made me to finish what I had started and that was 1h of hard core treadmill. One step at a time... You guys are awsome...

deksgrl

I used to say all of those things. And more, like someone else said. And the reason is, I have an all or nothing attitude.

I need to have 3 hours to clean my whole house, or else I won't do anything.
I need to be able to start and finish a big project all in one sitting, or else I won't do any part of it.

I was never very good at breaking things up into smaller goals and working a little bit at it every day, no matter what it was, and my health and weight loss was no exception.

But, we realize that it is all the little choices we make every day that add up, for the good or for the bad, on our bodies. I knew that in my head, but it was very hard to translate that into real action. Because you know, I just wanted to diet for 2 weeks and be done with it. Hahaha. Yeah......

Anyway, that is why I think I always said those things. And the process here has been to retrain my thinking as much as my behaviors.