So Apparently, my grandparents think I am fat!

melissaag1984

So I just moved to TX from MA a couple months ago. Yesterday I got my christmas gifts from my grandparents. 2 of them were - Eat this not that and a diet cookbook! Seriously, not exactly subtle in their approach. I don't know how to feel about this, I love m grandparents dearly, but am a little hurt by the conotation of these gifts.

then last night my FH and I got in a fight and I was all like - everything I do is for you, why do you think I cook/clean/ and spend 2 hours in the gym!? His response - I'm not the one who ever said you were fat, your Grandparents are the ones sending you gifts calling you a fat *kitten*!

I was so upset last night I couldn't even eat...which I guess is a good thing, but I seriously don't get it. I am beside myself this morning.

Sorry for the vent, but I have no one here to vent to other than my FH and I can't exactly do that in this situation can I?!

courtney_love2001

Do they know that you are dieting? Maybe they were just trying to get you something they knew you were interested in...if not, I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, but I totally understand how you could be hurt. Keep your chin up :flowerforyou:

codykitty

screw them, ur a hottie!

melissaag1984

honestly...I am always dieting...I have always been the heaviest of my 3 girls. Maybe you are right and I just took it the wrong way. and thanks codykitty

ChristineL

If you have shared with them that you are trying to lose weight, I would accept the gifts with the idea they are trying to be helpful and thoughtful. At least they didn't send you chocolate;) If they didn't know you are tyring to lose weight, then it was still very unfair of your husband to use that against you in an argument.

rochelle971

You still get gifts from you grandparents!!! Just be thankful for that...LOL:laugh:

Honestly, I might be offended by that too.....

But you know what kind of people they are... do they normally do and say things that are "in-your-face" offensive? They probably did not mean any harm.

amymeenieminymo

I'm sorry, it sucks to have things happen that are hurtful, and then you probably felt like you were getting it from all sides. If my initial reaction is hurt, I try to look at what a person is really trying to say, because God knows I have stuck my foot in my mouth plenty of times.

I don't know about yours, but my grandpa tends to say things that always come out wrong, but I know what he means so I try not to let it bother me. If someone else said it, I would be devastated. Every time I see my grandparents they comment about how much weight I've lost and how good I've been doing. Well my ever-so tactful grandpa gives me a hug and exclaims that he can put his arms around me now (not that he couldn't before). Um, wow, kind of insulting, but he's my old silly grandpa and I know he was trying to give me a compliment, so it didn't really bother me. Shrug it off, try to know they meant it as a nice gift and go enjoy it.

slrose

at least its better then sending you a huge basket of assorted junk food
friends of the family did that to us and i think its just sort of a big "f you!"
especially at the beginning of the season

BrendaLee

I wouldn't take the books as an insult, I would take them as gifts from loving grandparents (unless they're not loving...but only you know that). The hubby...sounds a little immature, but hopefully he's not like that all the time.

pawprint061

I get nothing but chocolate from my grandma... I would rather get a cook book...

barbiecat

:flowerforyou: if you weigh in the neighborhood of 200 pounds and have been on MFP for almost a year, it would be obvious that losing weight was important to you. your grandparents sound like thoughtful people who paid attention to what's going on in your life. having your feelings hurt is a waste of energy

Georg

Since you've dieted before, they probably ran across the books & thought you would like them. I've been tempted to get Eat This Not That for my daughter & daughter in law, but have been afraid of how they might feel about it. I think they'd love them.
Hang in there.

Mommabee

I agree with everyone who says it's a good thing they didn't send junk! I know family can be hurtful sometimes when they are really just trying to be helpful. Make something out of the diet cookbook and send it to them with a note that has all the nutritional information on it! Turn the tables a bit and make them wonder what YOU are trying to say!:huh:
As for your FH, I too think that was a low blow! My husband used to be that way too, always commenting on what I was eating that I shouldn't etc. and it just made me go the other way and eat more! We've been married 28 years and finally this time he is really helping me with my new lifestyle. I don't really know what has changed with him, but I'm not going to risk his help by examining his motives too deeply!!!
I think you should really be going to the gym and eating right for YOU, not for him, your grandparents or anybody else! People will always react differently to someone who is honestly trying to get healthy and fit, some in a good way, many not (jealousy I think...) so you have to be motivated to do what you are doing for yourself, not anyone else, that way you won't feel discouraged and not want to make the effort if the person you are doing it for doesn't respond as he should. Oh, and I hear boxing is a really good workout, why don't you put on the gloves and beat the sh-- out of him!?! All in the name of fitness of course!!!:laugh:
I think you are doing great and I know you can reach your goal and be healthy!!!
BIG HUG!!!!:flowerforyou:

vhuber

Use it to Lose it and tell em thanks later!! As for the boyfriend, it is easy to have a fight with ANYBODY when we know we are overweight and just want to be told nice things!

dporter1183

I think it's a grandparent thing, lol. My grandfather is quick to tell me if he thinks i have gained weight. and my husbands grandmother used to ask if I was pregnant ALL of the time because the first time she asked why i was so fat, I told her that offended me....she just found another way to say it. :embarassed:
Anyhoo, don't be to stressed over it. I know it's a hurtful statement, but in the end, that gift can benefit you. When you are overweight, as most of us here are, any statement about your weight is extreamly hurtful.
But your grandparents love you and I'm sure they thought it would help you. As for FH....... all you can do is sit down and have a talk and tell him how you feel. I hope you get past this and don't let it hinder your weightloss.:flowerforyou:

plantlady99

No one loves me more then my Dad and he would sure tell me when I'm looking chubby. I would love for him to by me books.

BamaRose0107

Don't take it as a negative thing. If it was no secret that you were trying to lose weight then it looks more like they were trying to be heplful and give you a gift that would further your weightloss success. When started losing weight my parents bought me exercise essential like a pilates mat and a nice scale and some other things for Christmas and I was so happy. I looked at it as they knew I was serious and wanted to give me things would help me reach my goal. Just think positive and try to take it as them calling you fat. If they were just being rude then tell them they love you and I am sure if they hurt you they would do whatever they could to change how they act toward you.

itsbella

Cry, *****, Whine, Complain and then move on.....take another look at WHO you're losing weight for and for WHAT. Take this from a cyberspace mom...re-read your inspirations.