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DetroitDarin
DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
in Chit-Chat
Take a few minutes and share your stories from 911 - what moved you? Have any instances you'd care to share on this infamous day?
12 September 2001

Beewding Fah Down?


There are times in life where we are tempted to raise our fists to the sky and shout “WHY, GOD???” We witness events happen beyond our control, imagination, and fears. We look to make reason out of insanity. We struggle with blame and cause.

Last night, while watching the never-ending broadcasts, they showed what was left of one section of the Pentagon. My thoughts drifted to a Soldier with whom I served, who left Fort Lewis to work at the Pentagon. I wondered if he was safe. I wondered if his friends and loved ones were alive. I wondered if he was trapped under piles of burning rubble even I sat comfortably on my couch. As I started to cry, I lowered my head, slightly, so as not to disturb my 2 yr old daughter, Alaina. The disguise did not work. From across the living room, Alaina walked over to me and stood by me. She looked up at her mother and asked, “Daddy Cry?” I raised my head, and took her by the hand, bringing her close to me. I told her, “Yes, baby. Daddy is crying” Alaina put her arm around my neck and pulled my head close to her, comforting me with “Daddy, T’okay”.
At this point she looked up at the television to see the images of one of the World Trade Center buildings crash down upon itself. Alaina turned once again to me and said “Uh-Oh! Beewding Fah down?” I answered with, “Yes, love, Building Fall Down. That is why Daddy is crying.”
Alaina “oh Daddy…. iT’okay Daddy…. I love yooo”.

With that, she released her hug and started walking towards her bedroom. I asked her if she wanted to watch more of the building. She replied, “Laina want color!” as she wobbled along down the hall to her room.

How refreshing it was to be around Alaina’s innocence, at a time like this. To hear her complete trust that, “everything would be okay”. And that even though the “beewding fah down” Alaina still loves her Daddy. Last night I couldn’t be away from Alaina more than a few minutes. I took solace from Alaina. Something about they way her little pony-tail would flop as she ran through the house helped me escape the horror of yesterday’s events, and find a still small place in my own mind. A place where I could just be 2 again. A place where people weren’t killed, planes were not crashed, and nobody hated anyone.

Alaina saved me last night. And the beauty of it is, she wasn’t even TRYING to. Once more I asked God, “Why? What did I do to ever deserve such a wonderful girl?”

My daughter is 13 years old now. I doubt very much she remembers much if anything about that day, years ago. She probably doesn’t know that one moment in time she changed her Daddy. She’ll probably live the rest of her life not knowing how I became a different person in a small way, because of her, and the events of that day. Sometimes I pray about what happened then. People tell me it’s too late – that God won’t change the past. I believe in God. I believe God can do just about anything. I believe God is not constrained by time. When I pray, I ask God to be with those people who suffered that day. I ask that God would have sent his Spirit to comfort them – provided them safety or companionship or warmth as they may have felt the cold steel and concrete fall around them. I ask that God hold them in his arms, as they passed on to the next life.

I have a son who has no concept of that day. In the last 11 years my life has had wild swings of 'good' and 'bad' - but through it all I've found strength in the words spoken by my little girl more than a decade ago.

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