Your ideal vs your SO's ideal

Effpcos

Maybe he felt when you were out of shape you needed the compliments, you needed the attention, you needed HIM, and now he feels slightly redundant. Have your routines changed because of your exercise? Are you spending less time together? Perhaps he's worried that you're finding him unattractive now?
Maybe for this week try being all over him, wanting and needing him, and see if that makes a difference. Typically the last thing any guy wants is to sit down and have a chat about things!

Edited- spelling

apocalypsepwnie

I haven't lost near enough to notice but I was wondering why my boyfriend was a little 'off' me.
It's not that he's worried that he isn't good enough for me.
It's not that he's finding me or going to find me less attractive.


It's because my weightloss and MFP take up more of my already precious time. I'm too self focused. It's all about what I put in my mouth. I can't let him cook for me without hovering and tsking about what's in it and not eating it all. We rarely go out for meals anymore because we can't agree on what to have.
The bonding over food, as a chef a nice meal in or out is important to him, is gone. And the amount of time I spend logging and researching hurts too.

Maybe it's the same for your man?

jenilla1

This makes me sad. Have a talk with him and see what's up. Perhaps there's just a miscommunication going on here.

My husband seems totally thrilled with my body no matter what it looks like - especially if it's naked! I've never been truly overweight, but I have been borderline - much softer and less fit in the past. My ideal is more toned and lean, like a runner's body, and I'm glad he doesn't have a preference, as long as it's still me in there!

Arexxx

Thats sad to hear Have you discussed how you feel about it with him?


My boyfriends the opposite.. He was jiggling my belly one day and I said "Soon you wont be able to do that!" And he just looked me dead in the eye and said "Good."
Kinda hurt my feelings haha

Hollyana

It sounds like he's finding your new body shape an adjustment, but I'm sure the longer you have it, the more he'll accept it as 'you'. My SO vaguely notices when I lose weight/tone up, but to him it's a bit of a non-event that he doesn't want to make a big deal of - though the other day he did say I looked like I'd lost weight and should eat more, he always tells me to eat healthily and do lots of exercise too.

I do think women in general underestimate how attractive a bit of jiggle can be for men - as someone who finds both genders attractive, I find women with curves that 'spill over' a bit more sexy in a different way. It's kind of a more subconscious reaction to 'feminine' traits. I can look at someone more athletic and admire their figure and think they look good in clothes, but the mainstream definition of a good body I find a bit generic. Bigger curves somehow draw me in more, and I'm sure a lot of men feel the same.

Be happy your SO isn't one of those many body fascist people who can only see beauty in a skinny figure and just wait for him to chill out about it a bit, I'm sure he will.

RedMeeko

My husbands ideal body is Christina Hendricks. Giant boobies and nice curvy hips/thicker. He has already stated he doesn't want me to get too small. (Like his idea of small is a size 6 and below.). We will see though. He's being frustrating about it. But I want to get to where I want to be for myself, not for him. I understand he met me at this size, he married me at this size. He loves me the way I am. But I'm not there with my body.

So hopefully OP, your guy is just at a stage where he's trying to get used to it.