letting off steam....I'm fed up with Drs

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  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    if your doc hasn't recommended a psychiatrist and a hormone panel yet, i'd (1) get a new doc and (2) see my first part of this sentence.

    HEAR HEAR!! THIS^^^^^^^^^

    (Though I'd reverse the order--hormone panel, then psychiatrist or psychologist. NOT because you're crazy, because you're suffering, and it's your doctor's job to reduce your suffering.)
  • ElleM0
    ElleM0 Posts: 105 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this! I will be keeping you in my prayer.

    In regards to the doctor, I've found that ALOT of them don't have the proper "bedside manner" to deal with an emotional patient. They seem to be 'bottom of the line' type of people.

    Your weight doesn't and won't define who you are! Don't let this get you more down. I've found that being overly emotional leads me to emotional overeating and binging.

    (((HUGS))) One step at a time.
  • shannajojo
    shannajojo Posts: 192 Member
    I'm just letting off some steam and didn't really know where to post this.

    I've been to see my GP this morning as I'm quite down and feel emotional a lot of the time. I'm waiting for my left hip to be replaced but have been told to lose weight first which I agree with, I'm 38 and need fertility treatment to have a family as my husband had leukemia but this has been on hold due to my hips. As can imagine I just feel stuck in a hopeless situation, until I lose weight I can't get my new hip, until I get my new hip I can't have a baby. I know my weight is now my barrier and that's why I'm on here and trying. I went to see my Dr because of how I'm feeling, fed up and tearful a lot of the time and she pretty much made me feel 10x worse. I got a lecture about my weight and was told pretty much its tough and I can't have anything till the weight is lost....I know this that wasn't why I went to her. I just wanted some support and encouragement. Why do drs feel they can just make you feel so small. I was in floods of tears yet she continued lecturing me. So in the end I just got up and walked out.
    They make it sound so easy like the solution is so easy and happens instantly. I'm still motivated I'm not going to let her knock me down I'm just letting off some steam. Grrrrrr OK rant over.

    Get yourself a new doctor. I know the doc meant well, but... While I agree that weight loss is very important, it is all in the way someone tells you how important it is. I know I'm fat, and I know I need to lose weight, but please be gentle. Take it one day at a time. I was very thin all my life until my 20's, and especially after my dad died over 8 years ago, I packed on the pounds. Food addiction is my achilles heel. It is easy to say, "You need to lose weight", but it is hard for me to lose weight. My mom can eat the exact same foods as I do, and she will not gain a pound and stay a size 4, and I will gain weight... it is so irritating.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    hmmm, well, you have been on here since March 2011 and your ticker says 0 lost. I am going to assume from the multiple issues that you have been seeing your Dr regularly and for an extended amount of time.

    Given that you want to have surgery and then start a family but you haven't made progress, your Dr is probably giving up.

    My Dr has told me several time that she doesn't spend time or energy on patients that don't put serious effort into their treatment.

    I don't know all the details, obviously, but without any progress, your Dr has nothing else to say to you.

    It may sound harsh, but the next step of the process is you.

    Judgmental much?

    My ticker isn't accurate either, because I only use the food tracking function. Allow me to quote HER, since you obviously didn't read it:
    Let me just add I have lost weight. I lost 5 stone or 70lbs in order to have my first hip replaced last august...
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
    If you have lost weight and know what you need to do, then I imagine your doctor was confused as to why you were there.

    A medical doctor is there to identify a medical problem, quickly, and fix it just as quickly. If you were there purely for emotional issues and just wanted to cry in her office, you were wasting her time. You need to see a therapist or psychiatrist, as they are set up to devote more time to your emotions and help you make a plan to keep your spirits up (and even prescribe medication if warranted).

    If you were honest with your doctor and told her you were purely there for emotional support, then she should have referred you to a psychiatrist or therapist. If you went in and just started crying about how hard life is, then I can't blame her for assuming you were trying to tell her you can't or don't want to lose weight. She shouldn't have yelled at you, but I'd probably be pretty annoyed too if someone showed up and wanted a half-hour pat on the back when I have a case of the flu, a bloody nose, and a mysterious lump waiting for me in the other exam rooms.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    If you have lost weight and know what you need to do, then I imagine your doctor was confused as to why you were there.

    A medical doctor is there to identify a medical problem, quickly, and fix it just as quickly. If you were there purely for emotional issues and just wanted to cry in her office, you were wasting her time. You need to see a therapist or psychiatrist, as they are set up to devote more time to your emotions and help you make a plan to keep your spirits up (and even prescribe medication if warranted).

    If you were honest with your doctor and told her you were purely there for emotional support, then she should have referred you to a psychiatrist or therapist. If you went in and just started crying about how hard life is, then I can't blame her for assuming you were trying to tell her you can't or don't want to lose weight. She shouldn't have yelled at you, but I'd probably be pretty annoyed too if someone showed up and wanted a half-hour pat on the back when I have a case of the flu, a bloody nose, and a mysterious lump waiting for me in the other exam rooms.

    A primary care physician is there to reduce suffering. Depression IS a medical problem. The doctor was out of line. The doctor was getting paid for the visit regardless, how dare you suggest her problem isn't as important as those hypothetical patients?
  • cherylann1963
    cherylann1963 Posts: 17
    I understand were your coming from. I need my knees replaced & have had to for about 15 plus years but am over weight so they will not replace them & i am to young, I also suffer depression so I eat the wrong stuff.I decided today I was starting again & am determined to lose it this time.If you need someone to talkto as I do please add me.. Good luck
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    If you have lost weight and know what you need to do, then I imagine your doctor was confused as to why you were there.

    A medical doctor is there to identify a medical problem, quickly, and fix it just as quickly. If you were there purely for emotional issues and just wanted to cry in her office, you were wasting her time. You need to see a therapist or psychiatrist, as they are set up to devote more time to your emotions and help you make a plan to keep your spirits up (and even prescribe medication if warranted).

    If you were honest with your doctor and told her you were purely there for emotional support, then she should have referred you to a psychiatrist or therapist. If you went in and just started crying about how hard life is, then I can't blame her for assuming you were trying to tell her you can't or don't want to lose weight. She shouldn't have yelled at you, but I'd probably be pretty annoyed too if someone showed up and wanted a half-hour pat on the back when I have a case of the flu, a bloody nose, and a mysterious lump waiting for me in the other exam rooms.

    A primary care physician is there to reduce suffering. Depression IS a medical problem. The doctor was out of line. The doctor was getting paid for the visit regardless, how dare you suggest her problem isn't as important as those hypothetical patients?

    If her problem is feeling depressed, then she needs to see a specialist. That has been said many times in this thread. GPs are there to refer you to a specialist if needed - not a shoulder to cry on.
  • awilmeri
    awilmeri Posts: 218 Member
    I'm sorry you are so frustrated! It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Being over weight definitely does not make you inferior. We ALL have issues, it's just really easy to see when weight is the issue. Honestly I would find a new doctor. I had a doctor tell me my cycles were a mess because I needed to lose weight. At the time I was five pounds over my healthy weight range. I worked on it but couldn't lose it. Truly. Anyways I ended up having pcos and a cyst on my ovary that eventually had to be removed. I wanted to go stick my tongue out at that doctor but instead I just never went back to her. I found a great doctor who asked the right questions and listened to my words. Now that I've had three kiddos and need to lose weight again I know how to do it but not because of that doctor. Good luck in your journey.
  • sweettalkinggirl
    sweettalkinggirl Posts: 76
    Hang in there! I often feel the same when I see one of my specialist doctors and even when I have seen dieticians in the past. I have found that they really don't understand that it is difficult to lose way all in one hit. It is a slow progress and they really need to support you as this is a big commitment you have made. Best of luck with everything, just believe in yourself because when you do you can do anything! :D
  • Midgetgem74
    Midgetgem74 Posts: 40 Member
    In the UK regardless of what you want or need the first point of call is your general practioner. Hence why I went to her for my emotional state. She did actually phone me yesterday evening and hats up to her has apologised she admits she used the wrong approach. She has always been really supportive in the past hence why I was taken aback.

    I'm not willing to chat about the rest on here as there are obviously some people that didn't see that the thread category is "motivation and support".......not let's put people down further so shame on you people.

    However thank you to everyone else for the advice and support and for listening its appreciated that there are some positive and motivating people out there, thanks :-)
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
    Sounds like your doctor wasn't "knocking you down". She/he simply didn't hold your hand and pat your back. That's not their job.
    Find a therapist or counselor for the hand holding. (that reads rough but not meant that way it's just simply put)
    All the best to you
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    just like people are different so are doctors. I personally love that my doctor is straight forward and to the point. He got me off my *kitten* and now I am down 40 lbs.
  • Shannota
    Shannota Posts: 308 Member
    I haven't read all the comments, but I know that after having a miscarriage, I was a weepy mess. My ob put me on depression medicine that pretty much put me into zombie mode for the next 3 years. The thing that really helped was finding a therapist that I clicked with. Mine was a wholisitc therapist...she had me doing the strangest things...like spinning circles in the middle of her office. I looked at her like she was insane, but I did it. Each time, I seemed to feel a little better. I wish my ob had sent me to her in the first place. I hope life starts coming up the way you wish very soon :flowerforyou:
  • SassyLynndog
    SassyLynndog Posts: 10 Member
    Honey, the doctor should NOT have been lecturing you. What he or she should have done is tried to work with you to see why you may be having difficulty losing, if that is the case, or to encourage you for whatever progress you make. As a nurse, I would not tolerate an MD talking that way to any patient or to me. I fired a doctor for not listening to me and got a better one. My issue was she would not listen to me on my medications. It doesn't take a minute or two for an MD to listen to a patient.

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