really wish he would too!

felicia8604

I have been trying to watch my weight since i had my first baby. I am down to what i was before pregnancy but can still stand to lose a few. My husband on the other hand has been gaining weight like crazy lately. I just wish he would care enough to watch what he eats at least. I love him to death but i dont want to be that wife that tells her husband hes getting to big. He has a family history of heart problems so i want him to get his bp and cholesterol checked and he doesnt seem worried. So i am going to start cooking more and making healthy low calorie food so hopefully that will help. Any other suggestions would be great!

felicia8604

bump

mhotch

From my own personal experience, you can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink. Any more than it took years for me to see in the mirror that something needed to be done.

When I changed my lifestyle, My husband watched and didn't do a lot to help. But as he witnessed the transformation that was happening in front of him, he got on the bandwagon with me. We now workout together as much as our conflicting schedules allow. He is always asking me for advice in a restaurant. It took a long time to evolve, but it did.

Be patient, do what you need to do for yourself. The healthy meals will help, as he eats what you cook. He will come around.

skinnybitchbarbie27

Ok, here is the hardest thing you are going to have to do. It's intervention time. Believe me, I know you don't want to be "that wife" but I think you are viewing it wrong. Relationships are built on communication and this is something he needs to hear. When I had to have the sit down with my husband I had been hinting and quietly suggesting things for months. I started cooking better food and he was sneaking. People who do not think they have a problem will indulge and not realize it. It is an addiction. His biggest weight was 430 pounds. I had to sit him down and tell him that first and foremost, I loved him with all my heart. Then I just held his hand and gently lead into the conversation. I started by telling him I can tell he is unhappy in life, especially with his weight. He agreed. I told him I would be there on his journey and at first he was very defensive. So I started telling him how it affected me directly. I told him how I was afraid he was going to die. How I was afraid that he was going to have a heart attack at the age of 20. How I can tell he struggles and I don't want him to struggle anymore. The thing that made him break was I had asked him if he noticed a change in our sex life and unfortunatly it was little to none. **Now I am telling you, this hurt my heart to say this** I explained to him that at that weight not only did he cramp up and get very out of breath, but he was physically smashing me and it hurt to have sex. This was the thing that made him break those walls down. He finally admitted to me he felt like a lost cause and ate because it made him feel better about the bad crap in life, including how he felt about himself. After a crying session together he decided to let me take control of his diet and teach him about healthy choices, he wasn't allowed to spend money (he was a sneaky fast food eater) and all I asked him to do was swim or walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day.

This man is now 265 pounds and is in the best shape of his life. He never hated me nor looked down on me because if it wasn't for that little push he could have really been in a worse condition. These things do take a toll on a marriage if left un-communicated. My mother in law is very large (about 450lbs) and will probably not make it another 10 years. When I was talking to him about his weight I asked him what he feared the most and he said that he was going to end up like his mother, and looking in the mirror was a constant reminder that he had. This is something you can bring up in a very delicate way. Not only that but sometimes they need the wake up call about how their actions will come across on your child. I think that sometimes when people hear things put into perspective it helps.

This doesn't mean you are a terrible person who doesn't love him, but the best way to solve a problem is just to sit him down in a very loving environment and talk to him.

Hope this helps.

GauchoMark

what is going on for him that he is eating so much? For a lot of people, food comforts. So a life stress can cause that type of behavior. Is he one of those people or do you really think he doesn't care? If he is, help him fix the source of stress and the problem might disappear.

felicia8604

thanks! I kinda think he just doesnt care. But i am hoping that if i stick with it he will join in. Hes not a real big guy. He is about 5'8" and im guessing about 185ish. I wish i had a pic on here of him. I dont care that he weighs that much its just i know its not healthy. His grandpa was like a string bean and had a heart attach at the age of 64! Because he didnt take care of himself. I dont want that to be my husband. He will be 30 in November so im hoping he does something soon. Before its too late.

mountainmare

My husband always says he loses weight when I am very careful about what Icook as a side effect of my diet. I do cook, like to cook and am a good cook so we very very rarely eat out...and we live in a very rural area with no fast food so lunches are packed. That all makes choices easy for us. But you can try to create the same situation. You do the shopping, menu planning, cooking and YOU dish out the plates and control the portions. If there is not junk...snack food in the house he will probably not go out to get it himself. My husband is at a healthy weight and likes healthy food. Once in awhile he will stop at a local farm stand and get a pie or sticky bun, or dish up some sugar free ice cream or jello--and thats fine. It seem that to control most of the meals helps create healthy habits.
I think you are smart to keep your own healthy lifestyle and hope it rubs off in time since he is noe too bad now. If that doesn't work then it is time for the "I want you around for a long long time" conversation.