Changing My Relationship w/ Food..A Good Thing?

mrs_joshica

Well,
I knew from the beginning that the first thing I had to do lose weight was to change my relationship with food. At one point food was my best friend, boyfriend, lover, outlet, etc. When you grow up and have had things happen to you, I've found that many people find an outlet to deal with it, or cope, and mine was food. I didn't know it for a long time but I had a food addiction. When I started my weight loss journey I started small by listening to my body say "I'm full", and stopping. One of the biggest things when I was coming up was to finish all your food and THEN you can have dessert. Well, I am glad that I recognized the issue of that era before I enforced it on my children, because I started to coming into the understanding that I needed to save room for dessert if I wanted it, not be so full I could puke before I got it, and then force feed myself with it. So these are just a few key things I learned in the beginning that helped me.

The second stage of my journey after I had quite, and have since made a come back, LOL was going on a "diet" for the first time ever. Now let me state categorically, that I do not believe in "diets". If you look at my page you will see I believe in lifestyle changes, but the reason I did this was to inflect discipline into my eating habits and eliminate things my spoiled flesh felt it just had to have. The first few days of this diet was hard because my body wanted this and that and I could only have this and that. After a few weeks my body became completely disciplined to doing this, and I could see the changes of not giving in to an unruly body take affect. After a while I was able to eat normally, control portions, calculate calories, etc.

So you may be asking, 'OK, so what is the problem, this is a good thing" LOL Well,while I am extremely excited about breaking the chains that bind me to food, I'm having issues even wanting to eat at all. I never was, and I realize this now, really hungry. The only reason I am obese is due to over-eating, and eating when I was not hungry. My appetite for the most part in its natural state is very low. I literally do not have a desire to eat until at LEAST 2-3 hours after I wake up, and even then it just depends. Now as a woman during that TOM I get starving, unusually hungry, but that is the most appetite I have noticed that if I try to force feed myself for the calories sake of it, it makes me literally nauseous. What I did to combat this previously was invested in Slim fast or instant breakfasts to get some caloric intake, which really worked for me b/c I didn't do it to lose the weight, I did it to have at least taken in some form of calorie intake. My husband has looked at me and said, "Babe, you've eaten like 2 times in 2 days, I need you to eat." This is HORRIBLE. I KNOW that not eating can be just as bad for you as over-eating can, and I'm really starting to try to figure out what to do. I am considering going back to slim fast for breakfast or lunch and eating a real dinner, but was wondering if there were any other solutions you all might now of. I do NOT want anything appetite increasing right now, I just do NOT, but all suggestions are welcome.