The way I look Thick or Thin

mrsna

You look great! You can't let what others think dictate your life. My mother comments about my weight no matter what it is. If I am on the heavier side she can hardly be in the same room with me without saying something. I lost a lot of weight and she started saying to me, "You're so thin. Are you eating?" I was healthy and active. I just had to realize that, although her tactics were totally wrong, she really only wants the best for me. Just listen and then move on with what you know you have to do. Choose to think the best of people and do what is right for you. Keep up the great work!!

wifealiciousness

If find it hard to believe you look anything but awesome. I'm 5'11 and 147 and I don't look "anorexic or on drugs". You have to find the weight you are happy with. The weight that you feel great at. I every once in awhile get the "too thin" comments from people that got used to me at 170-180 but I typically ignore them because I know I'm healthy.

I love to hear from women who are as tall as me or taller!! You have 2 inches on me and you are 147! That gives me hope!! Thank you!

In which case hello! I'm 5ft 10 in and weight 158 ish. I was up to 165 which was big for me... Would like to get under 150lb, but I'm muscley!

DoomCakes

Are the majority of people in your family overweight? Maybe they're jealous. Haters gonna hate. lol. Do what YOU like, and do it for you! Better to be in shape and have them think you're "skinny" then feel bad about the weight gain. As long as you're not dropping down too far or seeing bones, you're good! Oh, and of course as long as you're eating and doing it right

islandnutshel

I looked at your profile pics because I don't know what weight someone of your height and build should be. I don't know what weight you were at in those pics, but you look fantastic, and healthy, even glowing.
I think the family doesn't like how your new body looks compared to what they see in themselves, when they look in the mirror.

I come from a family that alway tolk me I have the "Tucker" build. "built like an irishman" It is true that us ladies have shorter bodies, with hips and short torso's, and wide shoulders, but when I got passed the extra pounds I found that these features gave me wonderful curves. I don't think the family liked me changing their family image. So at first I got negative comments. But my family is in the end very supportive because it is healthy.
Focus on your health changes instead of looks. Tell them how much easier you find it to do your job. To get out of bed and have great energy. Maybe their focus will change.
I think you look awsome.

jayliospecky

A lot of it has been said, but I agree that from your profile pics you look great. A lot of us have gotten conditioned to think heavier looks normal. And if your family is on the heavy side, then they may not want to think of themselves as "too heavy," they'd rather think of you as "too thin."

I think you look great, although since you don't have a close-up of your face, I am curious what you've been eating, and if you've been doing this in a healthy way. Sometimes if we aren't eating a healthy diet, it can show up in our faces, whether it's the condition of our skin, or the color of our skintone, or increased bags under our eyes. Just something to consider. Sometimes nurses and other medical-type people do actually pick up on subtle changes in our faces that come from a deficit of some kind in our diet.

From what I can tell, though, you look healthy to me. But it's something to keep in mind.

areufnkiddingme

Look at most of your friends and family - do you find they're overweight? If so, it could be kind of a culture shock for them to have a "thin" person in their midst. They may also be uncomfortable because it highlights their personal struggle with weight loss. A lot of people can be negative/critical when they're jealous or they feel discomfort (because it highlights their lack of success in the same area).

All you can do is what is best for you. If your PT scores improved - awesome! If you felt better - AWESOME. What matters is what you think, because it's YOUR body, not theirs. It's not okay for them to say those things to you - it's not like you would ever fire back and say "well, you look fat and bloated, etc etc."

I would evaluate the friends you have if they can't be supportive of the lifestyle change you have made. Family is more difficult, but you just have to tell them that you're not doing it for them, you're doing it for you.

Good luck!

Yes indeed alot of them are overweight and eat like crap!! I felt amazing at 161 and I'm not gonna let them influence me and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong when in all actuality I'm not. I have voiced that I want to get down to 155 and so many people are pretty much screaming at me NO! Ya know? My mom has diabetes and high blood pressure and I don't want that. Oh and yes she is overweight too. When I came back from Iraq (even though I was 168) I had high blood pressure and I knew I needed to do better for myself.

I'm 5'9" too and I can tell you right now that I am definitely not anorexic when I am 161- you can't even see ribs, just a nice, shapely figure! You're doing great and don't let haters get you down.

nikkishai

Thank you so much for all the positive support and by the way did I mention that all of you look amazing!! It's the negative criticism messes with your mind and sometimes gets you to think that maybe you are too skinny and sick. I didn't have anyone to really talk to about this with because they all are pretty much against my weight loss. Thank you for reassuring me to keep going.

And that's EXACTLY why I'm on here far more than Facebook!!! I need like-minded people to learn from and gain/give support.

megleo818

Thank you. I think they might be used to looking at overweight people. I've said I'm in a healthy weight range and they always say that it's not accurate or that's not for regular people. I look at them in confusion. Ya know? I'm gonna keep doing what I want to do and that is to get to 155 and be healthy.

I have been noticing recently that folks seem to have two categories of body type: model thin (which is what they see in advertising, with bones all poking out) or "regular" (which is what they see waddling around Walmart). Why is it that the REAL regular (healthy BMI -- just plain fit) doesn't seem to register on people's radar? Why does everyone who's not busting out of their stretch pants automatically belong in the anorexic box??

It seems your friends and family need to understand that rolls around the middle and a butt that barely squeezes into a movie seat are NOT "regular". Just because you can buy size 26 clothes at Target, that doesn't mean being size 26 is "regular". If you're comfortable with it, you can say something like, "Sorry, but I was FAT before. Now I'm healthy. I can't grab a handful of fat anywhere on my body anymore -- can you say the same?"

Editing to add that I have a pitt/lab rescue, too. His name is Jack and he's the greatest!

Good luck, thanks for your contribution to our country, and keep strong!

mrau719

I looked at your pics--you look amazing!!!

gauchogirl

From your photos, you are absolutely looking fit, healthy AND gorgeous and I'm sure all those negative comments stem from THEIR insecurities. Do not waste one second worrying about them. As far as how to handle it, I would come up with a standard reply as answer. And I would just repeat it, if they come back with another statement. They'll get the idea that you aren't putting any stock in what their OPINION is. Respond with something like "I appreciate your need to comment on MY appearance, but since it's MY body , I hope you can understand that I know what's best for me to be healthy and strong."

And THANK YOU for your service. My son-in-law is in the Army and I hear about his morning PT. Tough stuff and you just keep doing what you gotta do to take care of yourself the way YOU know best!

edited to add, my daughter is 5'9" also and her "fighting weight" (as a college level volleyball athlete) was about 145-150. She felt and performed best there. When she stopped playing (married the Army guy, LOL) she got up to 160-165 and was not happy with how it felt. Your goal weight for your height is totally appropriate!

SocialRopes

i can relate to everything you're saying - i'm also 5'9" and 160 and i went through a rough period when i was having to deal with all of the criticism after losing 60 lbs.. there is nothing i can say that hasn't already been posted -- just hang tough and this will eventually pass over time when people get used to seeing the new you.
(on a side note, i don't tell others that i want to lose more weight. they tend to flip out if i say anything, so i just keep it to myself. i hate that i don't get to share that with anyone, however it's just best that i keep those fitness goals private..but that's for another thread.)

loveYOUmore319

I hate sounding mean but I've been in this world a long time, a lot of the comments are made from jealousy of how dam good a person looks.

That's not mean. That's real! Thank you for the support.

loveYOUmore319

If find it hard to believe you look anything but awesome. I'm 5'11 and 147 and I don't look "anorexic or on drugs". You have to find the weight you are happy with. The weight that you feel great at. I every once in awhile get the "too thin" comments from people that got used to me at 170-180 but I typically ignore them because I know I'm healthy.

I love to hear from women who are as tall as me or taller!! You have 2 inches on me and you are 147! That gives me hope!! Thank you!

In which case hello! I'm 5ft 10 in and weight 158 ish. I was up to 165 which was big for me... Would like to get under 150lb, but I'm muscley!

I love this!! Thank you so much for the height comparison!! It shows that weight looks perfectly normal on our frames.

Matiara

I'm 5"11" and currently in the 170s and my goal is the mid 150s because that's where I look my best and when I hit my goal size of 6. I have a small frame, so the 170s are a bit much.

My arms and legs are thin and I carry my excess fat from my waist to my upper thighs. Outside of this site, my mom and a couple of friends are the only ones I talk about my fitness goals because I'm sick of hearing, "But you're so skinny already" and "Are you trying to be anorexic?" These people don't see me naked, so they have no idea. I just keep it to myself because I don't feel like arguing and nor do I need to justify my goals to the ignorant.

Literally all of my family members are overweight and many of them have diabetes and/or hypertension. My friends and coworkers aren't great shakes either when it comes to their diets and physical condition. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's the truth. Why would I listen to any of them with regard to exercise and fitness? It would be like listening to investment advice from a broke person.

emmagallo

I get the same "disgusted" looks from my family. I'm 5'7 and weigh 160lbs... I feel great. I feel better in my clothes. ...I just feel GREAT. They're just not used to seeing me "healthy". They're used to seeing me overweight. Before I joined MFP, I weighed in at a hefty 240 lbs. Obviously it was a drastic change. But, anorexic? Really?

You look amazing! Don't let it get to you. People will talk... No matter what. But remember, its only talk. Keep doing what you're doing.

andreajp

I think people's reactions are based on the fear that you are changing and won't be the same person to them. Not just how you look but the whole package. Once they realize that you are still their friend/sister/daughter with the same personality only in a new, healthier package the comments will stop.

I would just have a canned response like "Gosh really? I am eating enough calories, getting good exercise and I'm a healthy weight." And then leave it at that. If they continue just smile at them and don't say anything. It's hard to carry on a one sided conversation.

I also think that when you lose weight you tend to show it in your face more and then once you start stabilizing your face fills out a little bit more and you don't look quite as gaunt.

And I'll just add that you do look fabulous!

syvret

Congrats.

SueSlick

While I was outside & my husband ^ came & logged in, but I didn't realize it...I had to edit, so that's why the one word comment. Sorry about that.

Here's what I wanted to say...
Well I think you look great! I agree with others that "naysayers" were used to seeing you heavier, and perhaps there's a bit of jealousy behind the comments. I was wearing something last weekend that was quite form-fitting and my mother, who sees me all the time, commented that I looked "sooo skinny" & then followed that complement by calling me "a little ****"...as if I lost weight to somehow hurt her! Go figure!
In the end, it really is up to you. If they see that it bothers you, the comments will probably continue. If you say something like, "I've put in a lot of work to get these results" then maybe they will ease up. Maybe just smile & say thanks! That will really catch them off guard! I'll bet these same folks are quick to give you kuddos for your military service...which is well deserved. They just need to realize that you worked hard to deserve this new body as well.

Remember how you felt when you were uncomfortable, and how much better you feel now. It's all about YOU! Your health, Your well being! You...look fabulous!!!! Own it!!

jzammetti

My family, who is very supportinve and loving on a typical day, has been known to say things to me like, "wow you look great, but your face is a little drawn, don't you think?"

I do not take these things personally...because I know with 100% certainty they really don't mean to hurt me. However, if it became a habit, I would tell them the stuff it.

My family is also a big family - we always have been. DUH! Where do you think I learned to eat? lol So, I chalk it up to them not having any idea what any of us would look like healthy (which I AM) and also to their own unaddressed weight issues.

You do what is awesome for you - which you are doing. I calculate my acceptable body fat with the military calculation and according to that, I still need to lose 10 more pounds of fat in order to really be "fit." That works for me since I was hoping to do that anyway!

So, keep up the good work and do what works for you, not your family (who may not even know they are hurting our feelings).

BinaryPulsar

Pay attention to what feels healthy for you. When do you feel the best, when are you able to do the most? That's what matters. Ignore the comments from people that don't know what healthy looks like or who want to hold you back. Maybe people don't know what healthy looks like. My doctor gave me support on this. I felt bad about myself, and she explained that I was healthy, and explained that being overweight is less healthy. That is paraphrasing because I was actually given a lot of support and discussion on the issue, so that I walked away confident with my active & healthy body. For me it was different...no one in my real life thought I was too thin (just people on mfp).