to ex wives

mummy_gerdes

This is not diet related but i need some advice. my husband of 2 years (been together for 10) started gambling at the beginning of the year for 6 months and lost thousands of pounds. this is the 3rd time he has done it although never to this level before. we have a 2 year old son together. it has been 6 months since he last gambled and i still find myself not trusting him. he never got help and never admitted a problem and wouldn't have stopped if i hadnt found out by not being able to get money from our joint account for food. i have had to get a seperate bank account and put locks on the computer so he cant access the internet while im not here. my question is when did you know it was over?
please only constructive advice.
thanks for your help.

Dub_D

Just break up.

maddymama

Well, it doesn't sound like your husband has taken responsibilty for the damage he did to your relationship while gambling. Until he takes full responsbility and recognzies what he did, you won't be able to move past it. Also, he should be living a transparent life, open with his financial habits with you, no secrets, complete access to his life until you feel secure in your knowledge of him.

If neither of those is happening, then you aren't recovering or moving forward. If he hasn't admitted a problem and he wouldn't have stopped on his own, you know he isn't ready to stop, he is just waiting for his next opportunity to do it again.

Take the necessary steps to protect yourself and your little one. Speak to a counselor or legal advisor to make sure you are not responsible for his mistakes. A simple lock on the computer and separate bank accounts might not be enough of a wall to protect you.

digitalbill

This is not diet related but i need some advice. my husband of 2 years (been together for 10) started gambling at the beginning of the year for 6 months and lost thousands of pounds. this is the 3rd time he has done it although never to this level before. we have a 2 year old son together. it has been 6 months since he last gambled and i still find myself not trusting him. he never got help and never admitted a problem and wouldn't have stopped if i hadnt found out by not being able to get money from our joint account for food. i have had to get a seperate bank account and put locks on the computer so he cant access the internet while im not here. my question is when did you know it was over?
please only constructive advice.
thanks for your help.

Oh if it were only that simple...
Yes, he has a problem. He has an addiction. He has a sickness.
He has not admitted this.
Is it worth a divorce? I mean, only YOU can answer that question.

rhvandan

Until he wants help, he will not improve. You cannot make this journey for him.

Have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel.

If, after your talk, you feel like you can move forward, then do so...
If you are not sure, you may want to evaluate things.
You are deserving of a good life and a real partner in life. No one needs to settle for less.
Good luck and BIG HUGS!

odusgolp

Marriage is difficult. Marriage is a two way street. Marriage takes a *kitten* ton of patience, honesty, communication, sex, responsibility, and booze.

It looks like you're taking one very specific thing - his gambling 6 months ago - and using it as your clear cut excuse for why you are right, he is wrong, and divorce is the obvious solution.

I get it... but life isn't that easy cut.

Perhaps the question should be "When do you know you need counseling? And... sex, and booze?"

hbrittingham

I think it's best to try counseling first. I used to poo poo counseling, but it's helped us strengthen our marriage immensely. We have been through substance and alcohol abuse (his) and still pulled through (20 years married).

mummy_gerdes

we've been in counselling for a month now and i am having seperate counselling to help deal with my trust issues. we just seem to go round in circles.

Italian_Buju

My mother was a gambling addict.

We lost our house, when she took out a $70,000 loan to gamble at the casino.

Get out before it gets that bad.

LiftBigtoGetFit

Just break up.

go to response in all relationship threads........ I love it!!

weighlossforbaby

I hope you both can resolve this in counseling.