Need motivation :(

crystalbluewolf13

Badly need motivation! I keep being really naughty with my diet i know i shouldn't do it, but husband will buy me 'presents' which is normally a fizzy drink or chocolate bar from the shop and i feel bad if i don't except it. I have told him numerous times not to do it but he's Autistic and i don't think he always understands why. He thinks i'm fine the way i am, but at size 22 i don't agree. I need to do more exercise as well, but i have no confidence so going swimming or to the gym is hard. And don't have any friends in the area to go with. Help!

justjenn1977

I have an autistic (asperger's) son who thinks "blubber" is sexy... (seriously.... he walked up to a 400+ # woman one time and laid his hand on her arm and caressed her and said "I think you are very beautiful and sexy and I love your blubber" [he is 12 and in the 5% for weight... and trying to gain weight] after apologizing profusely and explaining to him and making him apologize (he said "I am sorry I offended you but I really do think you are sexy and beautiful"] and reiterating that OVER AND OVER that you NEVER tell a woman she has blubber!!!! sigh... he doesn't get it)


ANYWAYS!!

I feel your pain... he is constantly telling me things like "please don't get too skinny mommy I like cuddling with you" and "if you get too skinny you won't be such a good hugger" and "you lost more than I weigh mommy can I have some of your blubber? I think it is so pretty on you"

he constantly brings me sweets and such...

my solution is to take a small bite and tell him that it tastes so wonderful that I would like to share it with him... and then I sit there and watch him eat it (basically... I might eat like three bites but teeny tiny ones)

or if he offers to bring me a snack or breakfast in bed (I work nights so usually am eating breakfast when he gets home from school) I tell him "I really love the way you make scrambled eggs, I would like 3" (because if he chose the amount he would bring me 6 or 7!!) or "I know what kind of snack would really hit the spot, you could use your special apple cutter and cut me up an apple"

I know it is somewhat different because Chris is a kid... and you are talking about your husband... but the big thing is you are introducing change into his life... CHANGE = EVIL in the eyes of an autistic person... change is very difficult to deal with... so as soon as you can figure out how to do this without making him have to change... or without him thinking your change is something directed to him... or you can find a way to involve him in your change... it will be easier for him to deal with it...


I know it *feels* like he is trying to sabotage you or something... but he just is having a hard time with the change in your life... for autistic people change has to happen VERY slowly...

I feel like I rambled... but I hope I helped some...

mom2pne

I know what you mean about not hurting someone's feelings with saying no. My kids will sometimes serve me food and i have trouble telling them I am full or that is not good for me. I also no about an autistics personality as my 16 year old is. He also has adhd and is functioning at a 4th grade level. Up from 1st grade level at the beginning of last school year. I also gained a ton of weight because I blamed myself for his heart defect and the reason for most of his delay. He got brain damage from the lack of oxygen for 3.5 weeks it went undiagnosed.

OliveCarsey

I feel your pain. My husband isn't autistic, but our son has aspergers, and my husband brings me things he knows I don't want/need because he wants to make me happy (I often wonder if my husband doesn't have a very mild form of aspergers as well). For me I have found if I make a big deal out of a fruit/veggie I wish we had the next day that is what comes home with my husband instead of junk food Another trick I use with my husband is telling him something makes me sick- such as chocolate gives me heartburn- he doesn't want me to be sick so he no longer brings it home, soda (or anything fizzy) makes my kidneys hurt- so again he no longer brings it home. Maybe suggest things like going for a walk together so he feel included- and afterwards thank him over and over for "helping" you. Good Luck

crystalbluewolf13

no it did help thanks, he does try but its hard when he can quite happily eat 2 kfcs in a day and bad food. luckily he cooks his own food. but he honestly had 5 kfcs in one week and lost 6 pounds! whereas i only have to smell it and put on half a stone it feels like. well im started a new medication soon that says no alcohol at all, so i tweaked it and said no caffine either. so all ive heard so far is 'so no more chocolate or fizzy then, ok' so hopefully that might work! i do offer to take him on walks but hes very lazy and stuck in his ways, he does have z spinal condition that causes a lot of pain but he spends all day either in bed or on the sofa so he doesnt help himself really. thank you all for the messages means a lot. tbh i had a big binge last night and REALLY suffering for it this morning and he can see how poorly its made me so hopefully that might help my no chocolate etc case as well *fingers crossed*