Does your family ever accidentally sabotage your weight loss

Sprmc47

I know that they don't mean to do it, but since I am the only one trying to lose weight between the kids and wife, they want to do things that we have done in the past, like on the spur of the moment go get ice cream or go out to eat at a place that has nothing for me except salad, (boring). So far I have been able to plan my strategy for times like these, but I realize more and more that I can only rely on myself and that I have got to get things in the house to eat for me or that I have to plan a day in advance what my meals are going to be like.

I don't like telling them know or place don't use that 35 calorie a slice bread use your regular 70 cal per slice bread. I keep most of my calories for the night because although I might think i know what I am eating at night it might all change unexpectedly.

I am looking for some suggestions of how to deal with this because I am doing well and don't want to happen what has happened every other time. Also looking for your experiences as well. Anything will help! Thanks, Steve

MeMyCatsandI

To me, sabotage implies intent. If they are doing it "accidentally" I don't consider it sabotage. Plus, if you're the only one who needs to lose weight, or if you're the only one who has made the decision to lose weight, I feel like you shouldn't visit your troubles on them. If the family has always gone out for ice cream, for example, you should still participate. Just eat less! You can't bow out of the lives of your wife and kids just to lose weight. You just need to make adjustments.

MeMyCatsandI

By the way, figuring out how to incorporate your new lifestyle into your family life is the ONLY way you're going to be successful long term. Good luck!

Lyssa62

I would think if you ask them to plan ahead (at least for now)..and say something in the am so you can allow yourself some extra calories..If they come up with it on the spur of the moment I would have to decline to go or ask to make it the following day so I can save some calories. I would only resort to this if this happens on a regular basis.

jazee11

I know that they don't mean to do it, but since I am the only one trying to lose weight between the kids and wife, they want to do things that we have done in the past, like on the spur of the moment go get ice cream or go out to eat at a place that has nothing for me except salad, (boring). So far I have been able to plan my strategy for times like these, but I realize more and more that I can only rely on myself and that I have got to get things in the house to eat for me or that I have to plan a day in advance what my meals are going to be like.

I don't like telling them know or place don't use that 35 calorie a slice bread use your regular 70 cal per slice bread. I keep most of my calories for the night because although I might think i know what I am eating at night it might all change unexpectedly.

I am looking for some suggestions of how to deal with this because I am doing well and don't want to happen what has happened every other time. Also looking for your experiences as well. Anything will help! Thanks, Steve

Can you look up the nutritional info for that last minute trip to dinner or ice cream before you go and plan something into your menu for that day?

OR

You can ask your fam if they can help you out a little and maybe plan going out to their fave place a couple of days in advance so you have time to work it into your regular menu?

OR

Can you ask your fam to include you maybe once a month?

My heart goes out to you, it's hard to be on a different path then everyone else. It is doable. It's just extra tough sometimes.

Keep us posted and let us know what you end up doing in the future.

namluv

I think it needs to start with a serious discussion with your family and asking for their support in finding other things to do as a family to be together that do not hurt your goals/health and also planning ahead they way you are and saving a lot of calories for later when you're with them is a good plan; it will give you some wiggle room. I do the same for times when I know I will be going out with friends at night. I know it's not easy to do this without support; thankfully my husband is very supportive but the rest of my family is another story...

annabellj

its really hard when everyone else is not worrying about what they eat. you must absolutely have things in the house that you can eat. why would they eat your low cal bread when the regular stuff is available? i understand sometimes they want my frozen yogurt if there isnt any ice cream. but there are other alternatives at ice cream shops. they have low cal stuff or yogurt. or maybe try to suggest a new place that has the things you need. remind them gently that you are trying to get healthy for them and you do need some of their help by eating at places that are friendly to what you are doing. we rarely go to mexican restaurants any more because they know how hard it is for me to pass up the chips and salsa. i make sure they have things in the house that they can eat that i dont like. most of the time i make dinner and dont eat half of it cuz its just too many calories. or if i want the green chile chicken enchiladas, i workout more to make up for it, or eat less during the day to make up for it. there are ways to work around it. go to the weight watchers website also. they usually have ideas to help you get around this kind of stuff. and you have to remember there will always be issues. its always going to be hard. just decide what you want more, the one moment of pleasure, or the fact that you can fit back into your jeans!

PikaKnight

Yes! And when they make foods that I really don't want to eat because of the fat or/and calories..I still end up eating it because I don't want to waste food. Plus I don't want them to feel bad. But sometimes I just want to wring someone's neck, you know? lol.

jazee11

I know that they don't mean to do it, but since I am the only one trying to lose weight between the kids and wife, they want to do things that we have done in the past, like on the spur of the moment go get ice cream or go out to eat at a place that has nothing for me except salad, (boring). So far I have been able to plan my strategy for times like these, but I realize more and more that I can only rely on myself and that I have got to get things in the house to eat for me or that I have to plan a day in advance what my meals are going to be like.

I don't like telling them know or place don't use that 35 calorie a slice bread use your regular 70 cal per slice bread. I keep most of my calories for the night because although I might think i know what I am eating at night it might all change unexpectedly.

I am looking for some suggestions of how to deal with this because I am doing well and don't want to happen what has happened every other time. Also looking for your experiences as well. Anything will help! Thanks, Steve

Can you look up the nutritional info for that last minute trip to dinner or ice cream before you go and plan something into your menu for that day?

OR

You can ask your fam if they can help you out a little and maybe plan going out to their fave place a couple of days in advance so you have time to work it into your regular menu?

OR

Can you ask your fam to include you maybe once a month?

My heart goes out to you, it's hard to be on a different path then everyone else. It is doable. It's just extra tough sometimes.

Keep us posted and let us know what you end up doing in the future.

Sorry.... I didn't read your whole post before I commented.

You should let your fam know that you have purchased certain foods for your diet plan. I know you may not want to tell them this but it will likely help you along in your journey if they know how they can support you.

Willbenchforcupcakes

Knowing your struggle to consider food as fuel instead of emotional comfort, I have a few suggestions. Is the ice cream place close enough to walk to? If it is, enjoy a family walk, and if the place has sorbet, enjoy a small amount. Ask your family to let you know the morning of, or the day before that they want to go out and eat. If it's a place that is going to be carb heavy, such as Italian, save your carbs for dinner, and fuel up on protein sources for the day - you don't want to be going out to eat famished - you will be too hungry to make good choices.

ValleyGirl1973

I struggle with this same issue with my family. And I know my mom is having the same problem at home too. We are accountable for our own actions but in order to have life-long success, our family will need to learn to adapt to our healthy lifestyle. When they go for ice cream then go where they serve healthy options - choose non-fat frozen yogurt in a child size serving. I've done that several times. The hardest part for me is sharing cooking duties with people who aren't worried about calories, fat intake, etc. As far as restaurants are concerned, I dont usually go where I can't eat at least something healthy. I may come across as being selfish but my family needs to understand that this isn't a temporary change for me. My mission is to maintain a healthy lifestyle from here on out. Of all the people in my family my 5 year old daughter has been the most supportive; she now eats Kashi Go Lean cereal with skim milk even though we keep sugary cereal and 2% milk in the house. If someone offers me fattening foods and I pause long enough, she'll step in and explain the food is too fattening for me because I am watching my calories. If we stay focused and true to ourselves our loved ones will eventually catch on. They may even adapt healthier habits too which isn't a bad thing at all.

opuntia

You don't have to get ice cream when they do. Personally, I don't like ice cream, so whenever I've been out with people who've stopped for ice cream, I've not had any. This has never been a problem for them or for me. Also, it's very common for a parent to get ice cream or some other treat for their kids and not for themselves. It wouldn't be seen as strange or wrong - often ice cream is seen more as for kids.

If you're trying to maintain healthy eating, it does often require being organised and planning ahead of time. But this becomes easier once it becomes part of your routine. As for going out for meals, find places you like and take your family to them, and then it won't always be that you're going to one place where there's no food you can eat. When I was a kid, my dad would take us to all kinds of restaurants. My sisters and I would often say we wanted to go somewhere, but that didn't mean our dad always took us to those places - he would say 'Oh, this looks like a nice place' and we'd go there instead.

Sprmc47

Thank you all, your comments are most appreciated!!!