Help! Need Advice!

kooltray87

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now. He's always been quite outgoing and not the least bit shy. He's incredibly charming and flirtatious with everyone! Half the time I can tell he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Occasionally he gets paid to do celeb impersonations and he'll go all out giving lap dances etc. This past weekend he informed that he stripped for a friend's bachelorette party....I went off on him to say the least. He apologized and said he would make it up to me, as if that was even possible...I'm still really upset about it. To top it all off when he told me about it he seemed thrilled like he had a great time stripping. Am I being oversensitive? What would you do? How would you feel?

KimMaplesBaker

You are not at all being oversensitive. If you are in a committed relationship, he shouldn't be doing those things ESPECIALLY for a friend. I would really spend some time reflecting on the relationship. Know that you are worth being treated like a queen, and that you deserve complete devotion and adoration. Please don't settle for anything less than that.

Koldnomore

You are not at all being oversensitive. If you are in a committed relationship, he shouldn't be doing those things ESPECIALLY for a friend. I would really spend some time reflecting on the relationship. Know that you are worth being treated like a queen, and that you deserve complete devotion and adoration. Please don't settle for anything less than that.

THIS^^

If my boyfriend did this he would be so gone. Does not matter for who.. I don't go around showing off my bits and I expect the same consideration from my partner - shows a complete lack of respect to do otherwise.

IveLanded

I don't think you're being too sensitive and my boyfriend is similar.......he's INCREDIBLY charming and everyone LOVES him and he gets ladies making passes at him regularly.

One thing I've figure out about men is that you have to spell everything out. You have to say exactly what you want or don't want. If you've been together so long and he's upfront with you about this stuff, then my guess is that he's not doing anything that he should hide from you. So that's good. And if he's anything like my man, then because HIS intentions aren't bad, he doesn't think he did anything bad. So you just need to explain that certain things make you uncomfortable and outline the things that you'd like him NOT to do.

jarrettd

Sounds like boundary issues. If he told you outright, he must have thought it would not upset you. It may be a dealbreaker for you, but may simply have been a performance for him.

You need to discuss how it made you feel, and identify his boundaries for him. Lap dances = ok, stripping = NOT ok. If he cares about you, he will respect your feelings and not do things that make you uncomfortable.

BTW, I share my husband with audiences every weekend. He is a Karoake DJ and performer. Drunk chicks manhandle him in some very personal ways at times, but that's never phased me. I will not, however, tolerate anyone else slow-dancing with him, or wearing his cowboy hat. Stupid, I know, but those are my boundaries.

Get a dinner and some make-up sex out of it, then let the matter drop. Unless it happens again - then you have a different issue altogether.

kooltray87

Thanks a lot gals. Your comments really help. I'm going to talk to him about our boundaries, and try to get over this stripping incident. Hopefully our talk will make me feel better :-(....