I'm new-ish here, and I need friends!

CoolestNecessity

I used to be really active with LoseIt! but have switched to MFP for good. I was semi-active in their forums, and have been using the MFP app for a little while now, and want to dive into the forums here!

I've been talking about losing weight my whole life, and I've gone through periods of motivation where I hit it hard, have some success, then get lazy about it and gain all of it back and then some.

I found that when I tried to diet in the past, I didn't just deprive myself, but I felt guilty about the food I did eat! I tried to explain it to my husband one day, and couldn't really. I have to eat, it's a fact. I couldn't eat anything without thinking "I don't really need that... being hungry is just being weak" Negative self-talk sucks. Then I read an article about how the body stores fat and the hormones involved and how the fat gets used for energy. It also talked about how your body goes into starvation mode if you don't eat enough... which was like a lightbulb going off in my head! DUH I shouldn't feel guilty about FUEL...

My real wake-up call came when I asked my husband to take my "Before" picture of me... in my underwear. I saw it, and burst into tears! I couldn't believe how I looked. It's easy to avoid mirrors, or only see what you want to see... but the camera doesn't lie. I don't know the exact weight I got up to, but we estimate our old scale was weighing us about 7 pounds lighter than we were... and I was flirting with 300 on the old scale... so in reality, probably more like 307. When I took the picture, the new scale read 302.4. Now I'm 297.2 (on the new scale -- the old one went in the trash!), so hooray!!

This time though, dieting is not in the front of my brain like it has been in the past. It's like it's not a big deal, it's just how life is now. I find getting up in the morning and exercising first thing works the best for me, and I feel relaxed the rest of the day instead of stressing out about having to work out later. I'm using the MFP app, Runkeeper, and Gympact all for iPhone. My clothes are fitting better, my husband is noticing the difference, and I'm really focusing on portion control as opposed to avoiding foods altogether. I'm also making an effort to include more fresh fruit and veggies in my diet as snacks and such. Making better food choices makes it easy to feel good about fueling my body, not just my taste buds! I'm just glad it's all working!

I have small goals in mind, and am going after 10 pounds at a time to try to stay encouraged. I really love video games, and have told my husband that if I don't lose 10 pounds every month, I don't get to play! It's great motivation for me
(Please don't tell me this is not a realistic goal... I weigh a lot, it's mostly fat, and I'm insulin resistant, so it's actually very do-able for me in my situation. I know I'll eventually plateau, and I'll readjust my goals at that point.)

I'd love some friends on MFP to help motivate each other, and all that good stuff, so please add me!