how to not seem desperate or intense...

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CrystalDreams
CrystalDreams Posts: 418 Member
in Chit-Chat
When I kind of am. How to I stop feeling lonely and start feeling happy alone. How to not come across as intense or angry when I am anxious. I need help with that. I like myself, I think I am kind of awesome. But I still have this hang up... I don't like to be alone =/ Anyone have any advice....

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  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    I think the key to it is really loving who you are and being satisfied with where you are right now. When we stop worrying about our actions and how the other person will see them we gain confidence. Confidence goes a long way in drawing others to ourselves.

    Maybe I'm not the best person to give advice seeing as how I strike out often, but you are an amazing woman and if the guy can't see that then he is missing out. Learn to love you and you will gain peace.

    “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    Girl, you just knew I'd jump on this, didn't you? <3

    "When I kind of am."
    It comes with practice. You need to start making yourself hyper aware to your own emotions and behaviors. Observe yourself as an outsider and critique your own behavior. Don't be gentle either. Would you want to be the person on the other side of you and how would you react to yourself? Also ask your friends and family to point these behaviors out to you so that you can become more aware of them. Take constructive criicism graciously and do something positive to correct it, don't get all down on yourself because of it. Change it.

    "How to I stop feeling lonely and start feeling happy alone."
    This too comes with practice. And being happy with yourself and who you are. There's a difference between feeling "lonely" and feeling "alone". Everyone feels one or the other at some point. Some are unfortunate enough to experience both at the same time.

    "How to not come across as intense or angry when I am anxious."
    See first answer. Role play an expected conversation in your mind ahead of time. It will probably never go as planned, but you can run through several scenarios and your reactions to them. Think before speaking. Be conscious of your body language. Breathe. You don't always have to respond quickly, or at all for that matter. It's perfectly fine to say, "I need some time to think about this. I'll get back to you on that."

    "I need help with that. I like myself, I think I am kind of awesome. But I still have this hang up... I don't like to be alone =/ Anyone have any advice."
    Finding a really good therapist that you trust and feel comfortable with would be ideal. But if not, go to the library and check into self help and/or motivational books. Some suggestions: Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choprah, Dr. Phil You might want to start with Dr. Phil's Self Matters.

    You are awesome. remember, I voted you My friends List Comedienne! We ALL have hangups. Learn to love your hangups. Remember when I spoke about loving everything about yourself. Once you truly love everything that "matters" about yourself, you'll be able to change the things you want to change. And you may find that some things just don't need to be changed after all, because they help define who you are. Hold your head high and proud every day. There's only one "you" that walks this planet every day and girl, let it be known just how awesome you really are. Because we see it in you!

    Lastly, know that you are NOT alone!


    Edited for typos and small changes.
  • MarshallCroft
    MarshallCroft Posts: 54
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    I agree with USMC and Newmein, hun.

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