When The Sugar Addicts Attack You...

EccentricDad

I have had my family "added sugar/sweetener" free for a few weeks now (since school started) because of the entire family having ADHD symptoms as a result of sugar intake. Even excessive fruit triggers this ADHD-like response so I have to watch how much fruit they have and I don't allow fruit juices. I'm a pretty fair guy, I like to give in to everyone's needs and show them that I care by respecting their thoughts and fulfilling their desires; but today I'm torn between being the good guy and being the smart guy...

My son woke up and gave me a 10 minute speech about his dreams about candyland and how he ate a doughnut in his dream; meanwhile my daughter was begging for cookies and chocolate laced cereal for breakfast instead of the eggs I made and the bowl of cheerios (plain with 1g of sugar) I served her in almond milk (<1g of sugar). I did serve them both half a banana but that wasn't enough to satisfy their sugar cravings.... And my wife, she isn't a great role model either; she reached in the freezer to her private stock and ate an ice cream snickers bar and had that for breakfast instead of the nectarine that I put within reaching distance from her.....

Me? I wasn't an angel either. While I would have been satisfied with the scrambled eggs, 5 color bell pepper (red, orange, yellow, white, and green), a turkey sausage patty, a nectarine, 1/4 cup of rice, and a cup of unsweetened almond milk; I did have some dark chocolate almonds to knock out my sweet tooth too...

*sigh* If the kids and everyone have sugar laden foods in the morning then I get calls from the school, letters home from teachers, oppositional defiance from the kids, moodiness from the kids (and the wife), and no one does what is expected of them (homework, eating when dinner is served, going to bed when needed, doing what's asked of them instead of continuing their mindless self indulgence, etc).

I understand the body needs a certain level of glucose to function, but to avoid medicating my family (yes, including myself and my wife whom also has issues with ADHD), diet has been working. I just wish they didn't work AGAINST the diet because the only other option is Ritalin/Adderall (something my wife and I are against and are unwilling to hear arguments supporting it)....

*THIS IS A RANT. NO ADVICE OR RESPONSES ARE NECESSARY. JUST WANTED TO PUT IT OUT THERE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FACEBOOK TO NAG TO LIKE THE REST OF YOU DO.*

GCLyds

Progress not perfection, right.

EccentricDad

Progress not perfection, right.

Yeah, just wish the progress I was making didn't feel like me walking upstream. I'd build a dam, but blocking off sugar entirely is hitting dangerous dictatorship instead of "positive role model"... :indifferent:

jcpmoore

Cutting out excess sugar is *hard*. At our work place they had an article today that might be helpful: Dress Your Carbs. The gist is to make sure that all your simple carbs-the ones that easily turn to glucose in your system-are consumed with added protein. So apples with peanut butter or cheese, figs with ham, nectarines with eggs, etc. Another thing my doc mentioned is that it really helps if you consume the protein first during the meal. When I feed my kids, I tend to give them the protein first, then serve the fruit after they started consuming the protein. So if we're having eggs, I serve the eggs first. Then, when they've taken a few bites, I'll bring out the plate of apples. It's extra work, but it means they have some protein in them and are getting full before that sugary fruit hits the system. Doc says that can actually cut down on the sweet tooth, too.

It's a tough race for all of us who love those sugary foods (me too!). Great job working through diet first-I love to see folks doing the hard work to make change naturally like this! Keep it up!

AlexandraLynch

It sounds like this is your idea that you are implementing on the family, not their idea that you as a family are implementing. Now, that may be the way you do things, but sugar as an addictive substance shares this in common with others; you aren't going to get anyone to drop the addictive substance by force.

I understand you are attempting to control their ADHD with carb restrictions. It does help. For my own part, I finally discovered that I could plan, organize, and carb-restrict all I liked, and in the end, I needed a few milligrams of Adderall for it all to come together and function. Everyone with ADHD is different. I had a great deal of grief and anger when I did get mine treated at the years and years of struggle that could have been treated simply and let me be the person I truly am within. I hope that this becomes a lifestyle they all can appreciate the benefits of and live with, for their sakes.

EccentricDad

It sounds like this is your idea that you are implementing on the family, not their idea that you as a family are implementing. Now, that may be the way you do things, but sugar as an addictive substance shares this in common with others; you aren't going to get anyone to drop the addictive substance by force.

I understand you are attempting to control their ADHD with carb restrictions. It does help. For my own part, I finally discovered that I could plan, organize, and carb-restrict all I liked, and in the end, I needed a few milligrams of Adderall for it all to come together and function. Everyone with ADHD is different. I had a great deal of grief and anger when I did get mine treated at the years and years of struggle that could have been treated simply and let me be the person I truly am within. I hope that this becomes a lifestyle they all can appreciate the benefits of and live with, for their sakes.

Yeah, my wife and children don't want to be on a restrictive diet. But then again, they don't have self control either; so given the ability to eat whatever their heart desires would lead to 3 course meals of doughtnuts, ribs, or a combination of the two. They care more about feeding their cravings than they do about feeding their bodies.

annmariejustbeingme

The book "Potatoes not Prozac" helped me to deal with my sugar addiction. I don't eat the potatoe at bedtime as recommended but I do take 5 HTP at bedtime which is casually mentioned in the book. It helped me to understand the triggers. I hope it helps you and your family. You seem to be on the right path. All the best to you.

AnninStPaul

Progress not perfection, right.

So...what are the benefits for the kids/wife of going along with the plan? You get the calls etc from school, how does that impact them? They need to bear the costs of the sugar frenzy to be motivated to change.

sarah1334

That sounds hard... my mom did the same thing for my little brother who also has ADHD (This was like 15 years ago, when the effects of sugar on ADHD weren't very well known, so everyone thought she was crazy.) I remember that he HATED IT... but in my house, there wasn't much room for "discussion" with my mom. She was definitely in charge! Looking back, she knew what was best for him.

Every family is different though, and I hope things get easier for you and your little ones! I know school can be tough for kids with ADHD.

SoDamnHungry

Sounds like you're doing all you can. Keep at it!

jacque930

Kudos to you for working on cutting out sugar. Keep at it. Yes, it is hard. Yes, many will moan and groan, but continue to provide other options. In years to come, the kids will realize the benefit. Work on purging the items with added sugar out of the house. If it is not available, then the less likely it will be chosen. I am sure you are already doing this.

Hope your wife will come around and be more supportive. If she must have the added sugar, maybe she can do so outside of the house. Not in front of the kids.

Thanks for sharing your rant. It has made me think. I have a husband who is very high energy. ADHD diagnosis but he copes well with exercise and physical activity in his job. But I think I will be looking into cutting out more added sugar in our house. I am not going to hound on him for eating his peanut butter cups, but at least we can reduce more of it in the house and be able to have a few splurges because we are not consuming it in everyday food!

Good Luck to you and thanks for sharing your store!

annemama

I love your dedication to the health of your family! Good for you for doing the hard thing. Let's face it, we all love sugar. I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who truly didn't want something sweet from time to time. No addict wants to be weaned off of their substance of choice! I have a terrible sweet tooth, but I'm finding ways to hit the spot without the blood sugar spike! One of my favorites is greek yogurt with a sprinkling of several seeds and nuts, add in a spoonful of dried cranberries or a small amount of fresh fruit. Super delicious and the protein from the yogurt plus the fat from the nuts balance the small bit of sugar in the fruit. Very satisfying and seems like a treat. Good for breakfast or a dessert. Anyway, consider finding a few treats that are slightly sweet but very healthy and soon they will be asking for yogurt parfaits instead of donuts! Seriously though, good job Dad!

memc1965

I will admit...I'm a "Sugar Addict". It was easier to quit smoking. I try to remember: being perfect is not real...being real is perfect. Keep up the good fight and be a true role model, but it is ok to give in.

bcattoes

You could perhaps try oatmeal with fruit, or cook fruit into a thick syrup/jelly (no added sugar) and serve on toast with the eggs. Or perhaps unsweetened yogurt, granola and berry parfaits for breakfast. They look like dessert, but are quite nutritious. The fruit will give you the sweetness without the added sugar.

rmwinters

I was tested for ADD earlier this year after 33 years of struggle. I don't take any meds, I just learned to do things like reading differently. I am a true sugar addict (I would be like 100 lbs without the stuff). How did you start the no sugar? Do you think it's true that the chemicals in food such as MSG are as bad (if not worse) than sugar?
If you try to be GF free do you still eat white rice?

zoeluiisa

Stick with it. Children don't need donuts and candy, they need healthy nutritious foods that help their bodies and brains grow. We never had sugary stuff in the house at all when I was growing up, and none of the kids I know now do either.

They're just used to eating it - once they've adjusted they'll be fine.

superpapa16

I don't have much advice on dealing with the sugar addiction... but now I know what I'm craving!

3 course meals of doughtnuts, ribs, or a combination of the two.

EccentricDad

Progress not perfection, right.

So...what are the benefits for the kids/wife of going along with the plan? You get the calls etc from school, how does that impact them? They need to bear the costs of the sugar frenzy to be motivated to change.

While I agree with this, the children (and wife) are oppositional and would blame authority over their behavior instead of themselves. So while I agree that letting them fail would be the best thing I could do for them, it would be many weeks, if not months, before they realize THEY are the problem and not the system. And sure, the system could be fixed, but are they going to fix the system to accommodate my wife and children? No.

AKbluedragonfly

Sugar is addictive! Which is why it's hard for your family to cut it out. From my experience, gradually cutting back on processed foods (which have hidden sugars), sweets, and carbs (which turn into sugar) helped the transition be manageable. Fruit was the hardest to cut out for me because I've always been big on fruit, so I finally just stopped buying it altogether. Once I got adjusted to a low sugar diet, I actually couldn't eat a whole apple without feeling "sugar overload".

If you replace the sugars with yummy healthy fats, your kids may lose their taste for sugar quicker. Bacon with peanut butter, cheese fried in coconut oil, coconut milk/greek yogurt smoothies...all good alternatives that shouldn't mess with their blood sugar and cause hyperactivity. Good luck and keep on trying!

ronitabur

I have ADD and follow a very low sugar diet. Although not because of my ADD, but I'm sure that my ADD probably played a role in my sugar addiction.

Anyway, by "low sugar", I mean that I try to stay under 20g of added sugar per day, which for me would be any non fruit or vegetable source. Then when it comes to fruits and veggies, I try to keep those sugar grams under 20g, but usually no more than 10g. The health benefits have been amazing. I've lost 68 pounds, reduced my blood pressure medications and my intestines just work better, although that can be attributed to all the fiber I take in - usually around 30g per day.

On to my point.... My first week or so of sugar elimination was crazy! Serious withdrawal symptoms - dreams and cravings and general crankiness. But, it soon passed and all is well. Now, if I eat any sort of high sugar food item, I find that it often tastes too sweet. I also find that I get hungrier very quickly after eating sugar - it doesn't take long for the addictive behavior to resurface.

One note of advice if you're serious... highly refined foods such as white rice, white or enriched flour such as in breads, pastas, crackers, etc...behave like sugar.

You might want to institute something fun into the week - maybe dessert night on Friday or Saturday nights, after all the homeowrk and chores are done.

One more thing to think about... I know how hard it is with ADD/ADHD to get to sleep - y'know, the going going going CRASH behavior... then the alarm goes off at 6am and you haven't gotten enough sleep, The sugar and lack of sleep feed each other - you crave the sugar/carbs because of lack of sleep. Eliminating the sugar will help all of you fall to sleep easier at night. But, also quiet time reading or meditating at a set bedtime will help. I know those two things are hard for someone with ADD/ADHD, but that combined with sugar elimination will do a lot of good. The more sleep everyone gets, the less the sugar cravings.

Good luck to you and your family.
Ronita

JamieCRodriguez

You are doing the right thing! I myself was addicted to sugar and finally quit it almost 3 months ago. I was probably near committing a homicide during the first month but I got through it and I'm fine now. They'll get over it as long as you stay strong. Nice to see some parents willing to make family sacrifices to keep their kiddos off medication. Nice!

jeme3

Moderation in all things.

If you don't want them eating sugar before school (a very reasonable idea), let then have a small treat after school- ideally when they can go outside and get some exercise to burn it off before the dinner/homework evening crush starts.

Your wife is an adult. You're probably going to have to back off on that one a little bit.

Lead by example, don't be a tyrant. And have honest conversations with all concerned about why you are working to change their eating habits, providing some incentives for them to jump on the band wagon.

EccentricDad

I was tested for ADD earlier this year after 33 years of struggle. I don't take any meds, I just learned to do things like reading differently. I am a true sugar addict (I would be like 100 lbs without the stuff). How did you start the no sugar? Do you think it's true that the chemicals in food such as MSG are as bad (if not worse) than sugar?
If you try to be GF free do you still eat white rice?

Family is as close to GF as they will allow me to be. I just introduced brown rice into the family this morning (I tested it on me to see my reaction and it is a go). I am 100% GF and my children get fed gluten snacks at school because the school doesn't believe in diet restrictions (but they have no problem sending home behavior disciplinary forms). I do read labels for everything I buy and I won't buy anything with MSG, nitrates, or fake sugars (I'd rather it have real sugar than fake). I also watch sodium because sodium increases food cravings. It's not easy being the elimination diet expert in the family because I don't want to say "good food" or "bad food" around the kids because their friends are going to offer them stuff and they are going to eat it and I don't want them to guilt themselves for eating a cookie. But when it comes to controlling behavior, bloating, intestinal damage, and malnutrition; I'm doing everything I can. I just wish people would just eat their damn fruit instead of crave chocolate and tv advertised sweets....

EccentricDad

Really sucks that ADHD brings ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) with it in 50% of the cases of ADHD.

Me "Eat this because it's good for you and will keep you satisfied longer"
Wife "No, I am going to get ____ instead"
Me "But ____ makes you sick and you know one's never enough"
Wife "It's MY body, I'll do what I want with it"
Me "Okay...."

Sadly, people who are having symptoms of a mental health issue or a cognitive disturbance don't know when they are. I lived 29 years of my life under the destruction of unbalanced meals, and I can feel the difference of a good balanced meal versus a sugar laden and imbalanced one.

bombedpop

Sounds like the best solution to all your food and financial issues is to just leave the family. Sounds like they are just bringing you down and making you unhappy with all their authority issues surrounding you.

mcrowe1016

I know that you didn't ask for advice, but would one small treat once a night help the kids? That way they wont feel to deprived (maybe a rice crispy treat or kettle corn popcorn, or a small piece of chocolate). I don't know much about how diet and ADHD do together so I might be completly off the mark here....

But this way, when the kids ask for things, you just say "not til tonight" instead of a flat "no"

SarahAFerguson

Wow, you are in a tough spot. How old are your kids? Mine are under 10 so the struggle to restrict suger is not so intense as it would be with teenagers. It would be nice to get rid of the stuff your kids shouldn't eat, at least for awhile until they can develop a taste for healthier alternative. I should mention that we have severely restricted access to processed/sugary foods, although fruit and home made goodies are still on the menu. Lately we have found that our 6 yo daughter was sneaking candy on the side. She has various dietary restrications that make this not a good thing. The only thing I think will work is educating the kids regarding the good things in healthy foods and involving them in the whole process from meal planning to shopping to preparing food. Hopefully they will internalize the message and take it with them into adulthood. Unfortunately, what ever you try to do is going to be extra difficult with your wife not being on board with the program.

EccentricDad

I know that you didn't ask for advice, but would one small treat once a night help the kids? That way they wont feel to deprived (maybe a rice crispy treat or kettle corn popcorn, or a small piece of chocolate). I don't know much about how diet and ADHD do together so I might be completly off the mark here....

But this way, when the kids ask for things, you just say "not til tonight" instead of a flat "no"

When having delayed cognitive abilities (and my tolerance to hyperactivity) is acceptable I will give them sugar. But sugar leaves the system so slowly when a person with ADHD has some unrelented sugar (read: candy bar) and a candy bar at 7pm would give them hyperactivity and issues until 11pm at best. I sneak them honey, maple syrup, blackstrap molasses, and cinn/sugar in their foods, but they want the unrelented type and it's because they actually enjoy the feeling of hyperactivity. My wife actually relates her hyperactivity with "being awake" and my son relates it with "having energy", but the truth is, it is poison to all 4 of us and we'd be better off trying to learn how to live without it.

felice03

Dear OP,

I truely enjoy all of your posts...please keep them coming. Your logic and ability to defend what some people view as irrationality astounds me every time.

EccentricDad

Dear OP,

I truely enjoy all of your posts...please keep them coming. Your logic and ability to defend what some people view as irrationality astounds me every time.

Thank you :blushing: . I speak from the heart since I'm an HSP and I'm very passionate about doing this the best way possible. Very few people are as dedicated to protecting and supporting their family as I am with mine; and too many people are wrapped up with norms/expectations to pay attention to how they are neglecting the people they love. I will fight this sugar monster, even if I have to bake their sugar laden treats myself (and hide nuts, omega fats, and other things in it to balance the sugar out to make it not so impactful on their cognitive functions).

Cliffslosinit

Dear OP,

I truely enjoy all of your posts...please keep them coming. Your logic and ability to defend what some people view as irrationality astounds me every time.

I agree....I am just blown away by this guy and his logic in defending his post.