Do you ever feel obligated to eat?

naschulze

I'm pretty sure "obligation" is where most of my pounds came from. Sometimes, when food is given for free or when I'm at a cookout or something, I feel like I have to eat it just because its there (and free). Same thing with buffets and such (which is why I try to avoid them). But it is a very hard feeling to overcome. For instance, my company today had whole lobby filled with tables of different foods and desserts, and I had a really hard time convincing myself that I shouldn't go down there and just try everything. I was having conversations with myself, saying things like "well, if you didn't know about it you wouldn't miss it" and "c'mon, I'll only try a couple things...it's free right? You're letting it go to waste!" I don't get why not eating sometimes can be so hard and make me feel so guilty.

Does any one else struggle with this?

JRaeZins

Yes!! I feel like it is interesting and fun to try the variety of foods when offered and especially when they are free. It is a struggle and I would be having the same internal argument as you.

julieh391

I completely understand what you're saying, but you have to make a decision to just not do it. Or just have a tiny bit if you really want something. Maybe pick the one thing that looks the best instead of mindlessly eating a little of everything. One thing I had to adjust to is not eating cake. I don't even really like cake, but I've been to hundreds of parties where it's just expected that everyone eat a piece. Now I don't. Simple. It's just not worth it. I don't make a big deal out of not "participating" in the face stuffing. I just say no thanks.

katcunock

one great thing my trainer told me to help me cope with 'waste'.

Whether you eat it or not, it is a waste. If you don't eat it, someone else will, or not, it doesn't matter.

But if you eat it, it gets converted into energy in your body which will also go to waste, thus creating fat. You don't NEED that energy, you are wasting the energy that food provides by consuming it when you don't need it, leave it there for somebody else who maybe forgot their lunch today, or even just leave it for SOMEBODY ELSE to waste.

But you don't need to waste that food by eating it.

lorib75

At first, when I saw this topic I was like " uhhhh no, I eat because I love food".
But then I read what you wrote and my mind was changed.
Yah, I totally do that too.

rextcat

:huh: the only time i feel obligated to eat is when its something done just for me, or when i know that alot of hard work went into it. since its a sign of appreciation then to eat it, oh and i eating

jordanlell

one great thing my trainer told me to help me cope with 'waste'.

Whether you eat it or not, it is a waste. If you don't eat it, someone else will, or not, it doesn't matter.

But if you eat it, it gets converted into energy in your body which will also go to waste, thus creating fat. You don't NEED that energy, you are wasting the energy that food provides by consuming it when you don't need it, leave it there for somebody else who maybe forgot their lunch today, or even just leave it for SOMEBODY ELSE to waste.

But you don't need to waste that food by eating it.

What a great point! I never thought of it like that.

RockinSkiBunny

Yep. which is why weekends are rough for me. Getting together with friends. We are all big drinkers. and when we drink..we snack. What sometimes works for me is...thinking about how hard I have worked the rest of your week. The times I wanted a cookie so bad but didn't eat it. Or how I got up at 5 am to work out! Don't waste all that hard work! DON'T!

MyM0wM0w

Hrm, not quite the same but I will scope it out to see what's on there that I *CAN* eat within my calorie/carb/sodium limits and then take a serving of that. Then I eat that instead of my lunch/Dinner/snack and save my own food for the next meal.

Mine isn't a feeling of obligation though...more of being CHEAP. :laugh:

NaurielR

Oh yeah. All the time. I mean, its food. Its free. Who doesn't want to gorge on free food?

But I do have a little trick that seems to help, at least a little bit. I read this tip in a magazine. Instead of looking wistfully at food and keeping yourself away by saying "I can't" or "I won't", try saying "I don't". It sounds completely bogus, but it actually works for me. Saying "I choose not to have that food" makes me feel more powerful than if I were to say "I'm not allowed to have that type of food". Its empowering.

Try it out next time and see if it works for you

WendyTerry420

No, I've never felt obligated to eat. I just enjoy food.

HealthyBodySickMind

In general I try to eat when I'm hungry and don't when I'm not, but I think everyone has to make an exception for what I would call "social eating". We go out with friends. We have work functions. We have family functions. I also still have that scavenger-raccoon-college-kid mentality where free food is the best kind of food. In general, I've found that it doesn't really make that big of difference and will even out over the day or next day.

randomgyrl

This is so me! I work in an office where we have "goody day " every month. Something I have started asking myself is, "Will I possibly regret eating this later?" If it is something I could possibly regret later (cake, chips, cheese ball, candy bar from the candy jar, etc) then I will skip it. It's so easy to try to justify a reason to eat the food staring back at you. But I just tell myself, I have never regreted NOT eating that big hunk of cake.

naschulze

Thanks for all the good tips! I struggle with this a lot and there are some really good suggestions here

daisiemae123

Anyone who has grown up in a big Italian family understands obligated to eat. The first family function I took my now husband to, he was shoveling away food as soon as we got there. I had to explain this was just the appetizers. "You means there's more?!"
I just try to take smaller portions or "just a taste" of only the things I really feel I "must" have.

cbrrabbit25

yes, definetly. i have been "stuck" with family and have been forced to go to restaurants that i would never go to myself. I am currently trying to convert my parents into healthier eaters so they can help me out :-)

determined136

one great thing my trainer told me to help me cope with 'waste'.

Whether you eat it or not, it is a waste. If you don't eat it, someone else will, or not, it doesn't matter.

But if you eat it, it gets converted into energy in your body which will also go to waste, thus creating fat. You don't NEED that energy, you are wasting the energy that food provides by consuming it when you don't need it, leave it there for somebody else who maybe forgot their lunch today, or even just leave it for SOMEBODY ELSE to waste.

But you don't need to waste that food by eating it.

This is the best thing I have heard in a long time!!!! I will be putting this in my vault for future use!!!:bigsmile:

stuffinmuffin

Yes I used to find that around buffets, free food, my mum's cooking, special occasion dinners and office treats, but through MFP my attitude has changed and I would rather the food go to waste rather than my waist. It's a learning curve but you'll do it! :flowerforyou:

Lady_Tilika

I find that I do that alot ... When I go my relos house ... My mums boyfriend will cook really yummy food and cooks it even more so when we go for our occasional visits ... He will offer something and sometimes even though I may not be hungry or think about what the food will do it ... I don't really want it but think I am letting everyone down if I don't have it ....

I suppose now that about it the side I am letting is my own if I accept the food ....

cbrrabbit25

In general I try to eat when I'm hungry and don't when I'm not, but I think everyone has to make an exception for what I would call "social eating". We go out with friends. We have work functions. We have family functions. I also still have that scavenger-raccoon-college-kid mentality where free food is the best kind of food. In general, I've found that it doesn't really make that big of difference and will even out over the day or next day.

It may be true that it doesn't make a big difference physically, but i have found that i feel depressed afterwards because i didn't even enjoy the food i ate at a restaurant and i feel bloated and yucky after. I don't agree with eating just because its free because doing this is why i gained weight in the first place. just my opinion though.

sa11yjane

Indeed I do. I have 2 voices in my head- one reminding me that I don't need to eat all the food as if I want it that badly it will probably be available in the shops another day or at another party or buffet, and another one that says 'eat eat eat!' Sometimes I think that obligated eating is just an excuse eg in the staffroom no-one would care less whether or not I eat the birthday cake that they've left out but I convince myself that I should have a piece to 'be polite'! Now not eating a piece of cake at my mum's when visiting is definitely a no-no though, she would be very offended. I am now able to refuse a second piece though by saying that I'm full, if under pressure I may then say could I take a piece home for later but that's obviously not ideal! After church events it's easy to take left-overs home under the excuse of 'it's for the family' when deep down I know that I will eat a large share of it. Sooooooo ridiculous! We are blessed to live in countries where food is unlimited and we never have to worry about where our next meal will come from (thank God!)....so why do we find it so hard to say 'No thank you!' Maybe we should all practise saying it 10 times in the mirror each and every day in order to train ourselves to refuse food! x

Nina2503

Only at work when its someones birthday, or if someone leaves and brings cakes in. If I know I make sure I bring a low calorie treat in that day, if I dont know then I just make sure I eat lunch a bit later and say no. It works for now as I am very focused and thankfully it doesnt happen very often

supercatie18

Yes! This happens to me all the time, I find out there is some snack or treat available and then I get some sense of anxiety, like I have to eat it. I have no clue why! Just today for example someone put out cheese and crackers in my office (which I'm a cheese aholoic), just knowing the cheese was there gave me an anxiety that i HAVE to eat it! I ate a few pieces, but then I also have a thing about food sitting out too long and its been there for a few hours so I'm no longer tempted

PibblesRun

Seems like i have an argument in my head with myself almost every day over food! Ever day when I cook a delicious fattening meal for my husband and I have chicken and broccoli or fish and green beans I need to learn to cook healthy food for me, im getting bored of grilled chicken and fish and plain veggies!

frando

Yep!

We had dinner at our neighbor's on Saturday and they are amazing cooks. Of course they made my favourite Italian meat balls and tagliatelle of which they made heaps of.

It took me all the will power in the world to only have one portion and not to over do it on the pasta or the sauce or the balls.

When it came to when we'd finished their beaming faces asking 'who'd like seconds?' I was so close to getting up and eating more. Part of me was reeally tempted but I thought no- I can't spoil my progress over one meal. But my brother, sitting opposite me, came back with a plate about twice as much as I'd eaten.

Ah well.

ronitabur

It takes a long time to get over this. After 2.5 years, I still have lapses, but they are fewer and farther between. Just keep practicing saying no thank you. Also, make a rule for yourself that you have to log as accurately as possible, each and every food item. You'll find yourself choosing only one or two items instead a little of everything which can fill the plate very quickly.

Practice Practice Practice. Not perfection. You'll find what works for you.

poodlelaise

I think the breakthrough for me was the first time I actually resisted, and didn't eat. I wondered if I would regret it later, like as in I could have had all this great, free stuff and I missed out on it for no good reason.

In reality, I do feel a little bit like that. But I feel a much stronger sense of pride. Like as in how pround I am that I was able to resist, and pride that I really am losing weight despite all the obsticles. It makes it so much easier to resist the second time, and then the third time... eventually resisting should become a habit and not so much work. (Still waiting for that to happen. lol)

WalkingGirl1985

I actually eat at community lunch/dinners and manage to control myself for the most part, so it can be done..sometimes when it comes to birthday parties for the little ones, I'll have a plate of food and one dessert..sometimes I feel better having a scoop of ice cream instead of a 400 calorie cake..:laugh: so it can be done in proper moderation. I have on times, gone overboard at functions and free meals..my problem is..eating at home and binging on my cravings..I've struggled with this for almost 2 years and on my second round of "trying again" and again, learning proper balance.

abigailmariecs

Only at grandma's house, lately I am glad that I live so far away (she is in MN and I am in AZ). I love her to death but she thinks I am tiny and need to eat (I am still overweight). A trip to grandma's house means 3 plates full of food and a large helping of dessert for every meal. While she eats 1 plate and 1/2 a helping of dessert she will then stare you down till you are shoveling in the food just to get away from that look. On my last visit I gained 15 lbs in 2 weeks. Unfortunatly, that seems to be the way she shows you she cares by feeding you until you are ready to burst.

ronitabur

Love Poodlelaise's response!

tmauck4472

Never or at least since January when I started this new lifestyle journey. Now I don't care. I'm not eating it if it doesn't fit in my calories.