Are looks all that matter?

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13

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  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:

    That's cause of your herpes sores.

    You're a b!tch!! *starts yelling* ERIN...ERIN...ERIN
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
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    Try the ugly guys, they have lower self-esteem.


    Oh wait, or is that fat chicks?

    DAMN.


    But in all seriousness, yes looks do matter. If I'm not attracted to a guy and think DAMN, GIMME SOME OF THAT, then I damn sure am not going to be interested. Attraction is a must. BUT, not everyone agrees on what they find attractive. It's different for everyone, so just keep plugging along and you'll find someone eventually.



    crap im out
  • yokurio
    yokurio Posts: 116 Member
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    I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?

    Yes. Make a move, show that you're interested, remind them you have a vagina.

    Straight... to the point... I love it!
  • FitCurves444
    FitCurves444 Posts: 169 Member
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    The belief that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true. That means that you can look like you and you are stunning to someone. You are someone's type.

    However, I would recommend that you tap more into your femininity. I am NOT saying to give up on anything that you like or that you should change everything. I am asking you to consider adding some feminine touches to yourself. Like what? Ok, when you workout.... do you have to wear the 2 sizes too big t-shirt and shorts. Can you wear a t-shirt that advertises that you are a girl? I'm just speculating, but you get my point. Don't hide. Show off, tastefully, what you got.

    I could go on and on and on, but the simpler the message, the less overwhelmed that you are going to feel.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    Here's the thing for me. If you're not comfortable with your looks, then why should I be? Too many times women come on here and they're all wanting to be "hot" or working towards being "hot" when in fact they already are. There are SSSOOOOO many women on this site who are drop dead beautiful just the way they are...at least that's what I see in their profile pics with beautiful smiles. Size doesn't always matter to guys, but your attitude about your size plays a very important part. Wanting to change to be healthy, and working to get into shape because YOU want to do it is one thing, but that won't dictate whether you're worth the time it takes to get to know you. There are tons of "hot" women that I wouldn't waste my time with because they have no personality or their attitude is that of someone who thinks they are entitled to things because they think they are the epitome of "hot". Having said all that, I will admit, if you're 400 lbs and all you want to do is sit on the couch watching reality tv and scarfing pizza, then no, you're not attractive at all...to anyone most likely.

    To be honest, you have one picture, of you, in the dark, waist down. Not much to go on there, and it tells me that you're uncomfortable with yourself. That's what matters most, not what I think or some other guys thinks or even what another girl thinks. You have to start liking you, because if you don't, then you're not giving anyone else a reason to like you.
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
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    I was you growing up. I was a tomboy too. Had tons of guy friends. After high school I found out several of them had crushes on me but were scared to say anything. I ended up marrying a best friend. We have a great relationship. I always thought I was ugly and noone liked me. Maybe it's just that you think they don't like you. I'd rather have one like me for me than what I look like.
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
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    Looks matter but they aren’t all that matters.

    You can improve a person’s looks but you can’t fix stupid.

    As for why these guys aren’t into you as more than a friend? It could be because you are from the sounds of it, just one of the guys to them. Nothing to do with looks but if you aren’t very feminine and are drinking them under the table and talking about hot women with them, they probably see you as a buddy and not as a potential love interest.

    But don’t change who you are for some guy. Eventually one of them will take interest, probably when they get older and realize it’s better to have a lover who is also a friend.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    no!
    *checks OP's picture
  • Ras_py
    Ras_py Posts: 129 Member
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    In my area they have get together for people who are attracted to larger women... Look for something like that! There are plenty of men out there who like a woman with a little meat on their bones!
  • joycewilke
    joycewilke Posts: 2
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    I agree that men do not like to be drunk (drank?) under the table. For one thing, they don't like the idea of dating someone who is going to lighten their wallet paying for all those drinks. My husband told me this, and he's had experience. The second point I would like to make is this: why would you be discussing hot chicks with them? You are giving them the impression that you WANT to be "one of the guys". No offense, but when I read your post I saw the first three letters of your username... g.a .y. and thought you wanted to meet another girl and not until the end did I get that u want to meet a guy. Best of luck & try another approach.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Are you sure you're making yourself 'available'? by that I mean are you aware of men when you're out and about? When you're out with friends do you just talk to them and not have a look around the bar?

    The reason I ask is because I have a friend who has been single for years now and I just know the reason is because a guy would never guess that she would be up for being chatted to and asked out. When we go out she doesn't even glance away from the people she's with, she certainly doesn't bother to be the one to attempt to make eye contact with any man and let them know she's interested etc. My friend is pretty, funny, stylish, has a great job and has the kindest heart ever but she's single because she doesn't try at all.

    I was wondering the same thing--does OP flirt?

    And guys make less and less effort all the time, especially the young ones. You may have missed some signs from the boys! It seems that most of the young ones don't clearly ask for a date any longer, so you know what's what. If some guy has asked to hang out, he might have thought that was asking for a date in a way that meant he couldn't be clearly rejected. I just ask the flat-out if they meant a date when they try to pull that stupidity.
  • johnlatv
    johnlatv Posts: 655 Member
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    of course it's all about the looks, how many threads does MFP got going about "Rate the Person Above You" "Would you date the person above you" "What is sexy about the person above you" and the list goes on. We know nothing about the person above us yet we rate them. I know it's in fun, but it goes into our real lives. It's not right, but it happens. So yes they are important but you'll soon find out if you gel with that person and if you do great if not that is ok too and you move on, but you need to have that "Hey he/she is cute" before you get to the good stuff about that person.
  • eatrainsmile
    eatrainsmile Posts: 220 Member
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    Beauty and attactiveness are two different things. A girl doesnt have to be the most beautiful or the hottest one that a man knows but she can be an attractive and clever girl who can trap any man she wants. She just needs to use her brain and femininity. You are young and probabily dont know how to treat a man. If you try to become friends with any guy around, you'll always be their tom boy friend with who they talk about hot chicks. Firstly stop being their bro. Be friends with them but remind them that you are the opposite sex. Dont let them talk about hot chicks when they are with you. I'ld never let a guy talk about a hot chick with me or I am not interested in that guy at all. If he does it, I wont be there to listen to him next time. Be feminine. I dont tell you to hook up with any one, dont get me wrong. Act like a lady. Ok we are all tom boys from time to time but not all the time. Dont rush into finding a man. You'll learn by time. You'll change as you get older. I know amazing, attractive women who make heads spin and they used to be like you when they were in their early twenties.
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
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    Depends on who you ask. Looks matter more to some people than others.
  • p0kers0ph
    p0kers0ph Posts: 250 Member
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    You definitely have to be attracted to the other person or there just won't be any chemistry, especially when dating as looks are usually what gets you interested initially.
    That doesn't mean you have to a stick thin super model (or whatever u think is the 'perfect' ideal for a man), you just have to be that partcular guys ideal woman.
    Once you get to know someone you fall in love with their personality.
  • Lisarky
    Lisarky Posts: 15
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    Also you need to consider your age, truthfully. Things do tend to change a bit as you grow older. In my late teens and early 20s it was all about looks, partying, and social interactions were different. When your partying days settle down you'll find that people are ready to see each other for who they are a little more. Age does make a difference.
  • LifeChangingExp8512
    LifeChangingExp8512 Posts: 184
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    I wasnt attracted to my Rabbit, at first. But once I got to know her*.. it all came together perfectly. :wink:


    Seriously.. just be you and one day he will arrive and love you for being just you. :heart:
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Sadly, most of the time , it is about looks. That's why IM so picky. If guy is very popular or 'society textbook' good looking, then i back off. Because i prefer to build a relationship/friendship...with no expectations and if brains and hearts connect then....things move along! LOL!
    I do think its odd that you would talk about girls in the same viewpoint as your guy friends....if you want them to notice YOU...dont switch the conversation about another girl! ...also..be watchful for the quiet guys...real gems there if you spend enough time with them =)
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Depends on who you ask. Looks matter more to some people than others.

    ^This. Some people are more honest.
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
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    Honestly? Look at my profile pic, I am not or have ever been pretty or as hot as some of the girls on this site, but, like you I am a tomboy, I rock climbed, caved, I built my own house, all my best friends are male, I'm the only female role player in a group of 50 men. Get the picture? Without fail, I get hit on, really! I can't count the number of times I have heard the phrase '' wish I'd met you before we were both married''!
    I like to laugh, and like to make people laugh, I also listen. This seems to be the thing, I am genuinely interested in people.
    Just smile, maintain eye contact and be patient! lol!

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