When your Mom truly was a great beauty

126siany

before she resigned herself to carrying that extra 130 pounds, and she has always looked down on you for not being as pretty as she was (uh, that was genetic) and then for not carrying around an extra person, how do you deal with her?

Look, I KNOW I am not pretty. She drilled that into me hourly growing up. But why does she now **** all over me for not getting fat like her? What is that about? She is the one who drilled into me that if you aren't pretty you absolutely can't be fat. Hopeless in that circumstance of ugly and fat. So what the hell is her issue with me? I'm not pretty, blah, blah, blah. Got that. Have the t-shirt. But why is it bad to not be fat on top of it?

Does she actually just hate me? Is she a sadist? What is going on here?

180farm

I'm sorry she said such aweful things to you and continues to do that. Please don't think that you're not pretty because someone says it. People who say it never even see you. They can't see past their hatefullness for whatever reason they have.

magj0y

before she resigned herself to carrying that extra 130 pounds, and she has always looked down on you for not being as pretty as she was (uh, that was genetic) and then for not carrying around an extra person, how do you deal with her?

Look, I KNOW I am not pretty. She drilled that into me hourly growing up. But why does she now **** all over me for not getting fat like her? What is that about? She is the one who drilled into me that if you aren't pretty you absolutely can't be fat. Hopeless in that circumstance of ugly and fat. So what the hell is her issue with me? I'm not pretty, blah, blah, blah. Got that. Have the t-shirt. But why is it bad to not be fat on top of it?

Does she actually just hate me? Is she a sadist? What is going on here?

Your mom too every opportunity to tell you that you're ugly (can you post a picture? even if you just private msg me?) I highly don't you're as ugly as you think you are!

Any mother who tells their child they're ugly and than later upset that they didn't get fat is bitter and something is wrong with HER, not YOU. She could be jealous of you for reasons you're unaware of. Perhaps after giving birth to you she felt ugly and took that out on you. I think this is probably her just projecting her unhappiness on you.

126siany

I do know that some of her animosity is due to the fact that she never thought she could even have kids. Back then, if you had irregular periods, docs said you were likely infertile. Not true, but she was banking on that. She didn't want kids at all and married a man who wanted loads of them. She lied to her hubby, in effect. Their religion made it likely that a kid a year was normal given their ages, and that's more or less what happened.

I don't think I am so hideous that I need to be banished to dark corners, despite what my mom has drilled into my head. I always say, "It's not the face that launched a thousand ships, but it's not the face that launched a thousand stomachs either."

But she is always looking for yet another opportunity to beat me down. Always has been. She clings to her youthful exceptional beauty as an unassailable right of some sort and looks down on any who could never claim the title, including her own children. I've definitely been beaten down on that count-it's good I was smart but that is a whole other mess of issues if I ever wanted a BF or hubby.

She's a b*tch of the highest order.

magj0y

I do know that some of her animosity is due to the fact that she never thought she could even have kids. Back then, if you had irregular periods, docs said you were likely infertile. Not true, but she was banking on that. She didn't want kids at all and married a man who wanted loads of them. She lied to her hubby, in effect. Their religion made it likely that a kid a year was normal given their ages, and that's more or less what happened.

I don't think I am so hideous that I need to be banished to dark corners, despite what my mom has drilled into my head. I always say, "It's not the face that launched a thousand ships, but it's not the face that launched a thousand stomachs either."

But she is always looking for yet another opportunity to beat me down. Always has been. She clings to her youthful exceptional beauty as an unassailable right of some sort and looks down on any who could never claim the title, including her own children. I've definitely been beaten down on that count-it's good I was smart but that is a whole other mess of issues if I ever wanted a BF or hubby.

She's a b*tch of the highest order.

If it makes you feel any sorts of better, probably won't... my mom was way b!tchier than your's..... but this isn't a contest. My mom looks like Roy Orbison and has been exiled by the family for the last 8 or so years. You should try it! Distancing myself from her cruelty was probably the best thing I did for my sanity. Your mom may have once been pretty.. but she is quite ugly on the inside!

Bahet

You're mom's a b*tch. Next time she gives you that attitude say "Hey, I'm not fat. I'm also not a crappy mom who wants to make people feel worthless and I don't have an undeserved superiority complex either. I guess I'm not like you at all." Then walk away or hang up. Don't let her do that to you.

walkdmc

There's definitely something wrong with your mom. Playing armchair psychiatrist, she sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder. I second the recommendation to stay away from her and get yourself to a therapist so you can stop seeing yourself as an ugly person.