I should be "over" it

annabellj

I am feeling a bit melancholy these past few days. been having neck issues which gives me a lot of pain which in turn makes me not want to eat so my stomach wakes me up. idk if its all the extra time to think, but I really miss my daddy more than normal. my mom died when I was little so we were really close. He was the best. made me take a buttload of spanish so im almost fluent even though I hated it. taught me how to dance. always told me he loved me even when he was drunk from missing her. bought me ballet lessons and voice lessons even though we could barely make the house payment. made me listen to elvis (I think listening to him while working out may have triggered this little episode,), and box car willie til my ears bled. He was the handsomest man I ever knew and it killed me every day to see him miss my mom so much. they were so in love. he remarried a year after my mom died and idk why he did because she was nothing like my mom.im sure he was freaked out about having to raise a daughter by himself. and in 1976 when she died there was little to no counseling. we didnt have any family here so no extended support. he died when I was 21 and just getting to know what an amazing person he was. my poor husband has to get tired of hearing about it. so i thought it might be ok to share. I guess I am just looking to hear how others have dealt with this. also I think my best friend losing her mother a few weeks ago has made me worry about her which in turn makes me think about him. writing this has just made it worse. edited to add my friends know how much I hate being negative and I am usually never a downer.

ClareRae

It's ok to miss the ones you love. There are things around my house that remind me of my grandma and every so often it hits me that she's gone and won't ever be able to tell me about where she worked during the war, what it was like in rural Texas during the depression, her crazy stories from working at the state hospital back in the days when it was still called an insane asylum... I loved her stories... She was always able to find the best part of a bad situation. Even in the worst of times she could find the joy. She was funny, and even at 88 she had all her wits. She laughed at me when I would talk about cell phones and computers. I remember her laughing and saying that she would never have to worry about learning any of that stuff. I didn't get to spend enough time with her, but the time I had was so valuable and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
The most important thing is to not forget. I'm sorry you lost him so early, but it sounds like he was an important part of your life and a good man. Don't let go of that. :-)

oberon0124

I miss my father each and every day. He like yours is everywhere you turn in all you do. Yes it is so very ok to miss him. Souds like a great man who raised and equally great woman!.

kykykenna

First off, HUGS. I read what you wrote about your dad, and what he taught you....it is no wonder you miss him. Most WOULD miss the loss of their parents, but your Daddy sounds like a person who was a wonderful father, and it seems to me raising you right, teaching you, and protecting you were at the very top of his priority list. How lucky you were to have a father like that. I have the same kind of father. My father made me listen to Elvis too,.;) He used to and still does say "Elvis is the king of Rock and Roll"......followed by "That stuff you guys listen to isnt music. You cant even understand them". To this day, I love Elvis. And my girls, 9 and 11, like Elvis. Which leads me to while he may be gone the things he taught you, you carry on to the next generation. With friends. It shapes you into who you are today. And that is a wonderful person. A true testament to the job your Daddy did raising you. As they say, he will always be with you. A part of him shows in you every day. And for those around you, they are blessed...as you were. xoxo

basillowe66

Hi Annabelle, Don't you think your dad would want you to remember the good times, but enjoy life. Life is for the living. You are a beautifull lady and It sounds like you have a great husband, grab ahold of what you HAVE, not of what you lost. You have great memories and you should be adding to others great future memories about how you enjoy life.
From your pictures you look as if you've taken care of yourself and quite honestly, I got lot in your pics and didn't read whether you have kids or not.

Add me to your list of friends and let me know how you are doing from time to time

Basil

kbailey374

Hi oh there is no SHOULD in missing someone who is gone. It is a tribute to them that we loved them so much. now I am getting all teary eyed myself lol. I went 5 years not speaking to my dad so thankfully we were able to reunite and make things right, and enjoy some time together. But I wish I could get those 5 years back. Sigh... anyway big hugs and you know it is better to talk about it than to eat over it if you can. Sounds like you have some good friends too ...

Anyway glad you could vent and it gave me a few minutes to remember MY dad and all the good things he taught me and did with me so that is a gift to ME!

adnol_2

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose a parent. I lost my dad back in '91' to a rare form of cancer. He was a rock for our family. He was self employed and worked many long hours but still had time to do things with family and friends. Any where from taking us camping for week long camping trips 5 miles from nowhere to water skiing at our camp, to snowmobiling. If someone needed help building their house (mine included) he was there to lend a hand, and taught us that same thing. He is still greatly missed.

I try to remember all the good things about him and know that he is in a better place and that he is there with my nana.

All I can tell you is it gets easier with time.

Good luck to you.

LorinaLynn

*hugs* and *smooches*

HSingMomto7Kids

I am sooo very sorry my friend!!! I have tears for you. Your Daddy is the reason you are such a wonderful person, wonderful friend, wonderful wife and especially a wonderful, wonderful mother to your boys !!! This is why you are!!! It is normal to miss your Daddy through these times as he had a special tribute to your life. Why wouldn't you?? Of course you would miss such a positive person in your life. He sounded like a wonderful man!! Wow, were you lucky to have such a wonderful Daddy. You had a man that many like me crave for even still now as you know. Grab hold of everything that he gave you. That is wonderful!! I am soo sorry that he died when you were soo young when you still wanted/needed him to still share your life with you. If I lost my mom I do not know what I'd do although I know it is coming the older that she gets. I don't know how to deal with this as I've never had this in my life. But maybe try to think back to all the wonderful times that you had with him. Maybe honor him in some way. I would say that it is normal to think back about him in good and bad times. As you know my dad is still alive and I grieve for "not having my Daddy." I think of what I want in so many ways, so it is more different than you. For you maybe you still need to grieve in a way the Daddy that you had and loved. Maybe there will still be times that you will go through this.

Keep doing what you are doing!!! It will get better. It has to right?? I'd only say that it is natural when you see a friend going through losing a close parent that it is only natural to feel those so natural feelings. So your title of "I should be over it". I don't know if it is something that you will ever get over. I think it may be something that like a wound is more sore at some times than others. I am sorry that I am not able to give you the magic words or pills to make you feel those sore feelings to go away. A family friend that was such a great person in my life when I was young had soo many great words of wisdom I miss and cry over her at times. I think it is only a natural thing to feel. Could you make some kind of album or maybe go somewhere of something that you enjoyed together like drawing together etc.. to remember him with? But then maybe that would make you feel worse. But maybe it would make you feel closer too. I don't know the answer. Do know I am always just a phone call away and I will Always Always be here for you!! I love ya Girl!!

miss_grad

My heart goes out to you, sweetheart.

Just remember, your parents are smiling down on you and are so proud of the person you are becoming. As others have stated, your parents would want you to be happy. Easier said than done, I know... But you can always carry them with you in your heart, in memory, and they are always there with you in spirit.

Even though I can't imagine how you must be feeling, I can relate to your struggle... My mom passed away in 2007, and thereafter I was pretty much orphaned. My father has always been absent from my life due to a very voracious mental-health condition.

But you know? Life blessed me with a wonderful man in my life who shares his heart and soul with me. It's like my mom pulled some strings up there and led me to him. He is my best friend, my confidant, and ultimately, the love of my life. I am so thankful to have him by my side.

Even in the darkness, there is light. But you must open your eyes to see it.

Take care of yourself x

annabellj

thank you all so much for your kind words. it means so much. I know it ebbs and flows all the time and some days its better sometimes I can go weeks months even just having sweet memories. this is the time of year he started to get sick and he died dec 19th so holiday time is always the worst. thanks for listening and letting me vent about it. I truly appreciate it.

miss_grad

thank you all so much for your kind words. it means so much. I know it ebbs and flows all the time and some days its better sometimes I can go weeks months even just having sweet memories. this is the time of year he started to get sick and he died dec 19th so holiday time is always the worst. thanks for listening and letting me vent about it. I truly appreciate it.

I can relate... My mom passed on November 22, 2007... Which happened to be Thanksgiving that year.

Always keep those warm memories close to your heart. They would want you to be living life to the fullest extent, and most importantly, they would want you to be happy.

If you ever want to talk, about anything and anytime, I'm a PM away. :flowerforyou:

djsupreme6

not a day goes by that I don't think about my Dad....he was the man and my rock...i'll never be fully over it and my heart goes out to you...big hugs...they're always looking down and smiling

bushidowoman

This time of year makes me miss my Daddy, too. His birthday was around Thanksgiving, and the crisp fall air seemed to bring out the kid in him. He's been gone 6 years...I'll miss him til I join him.
Never stop talking about your Daddy! He sounds like quite a guy.

haylz247

I would like to say that he has raised a wonderful daughter (even though i don't know you, you come across very sweet )
I miss my mum too even though i never knew her (she died when i was 1 and a half). I think about her everyday and i know i shouldn't wish this but i wish it was my dad that died and not her. I hate him due to reasons i won't go into but it involves his awful second wife.
It sucks that all the good, kind people get taken away. You'll see him and your mum again one day So keep smiling and be happy and live life to fullest you can! They are will always be watching over you :flowerforyou: