When your "BEFORE" pics are plastered on the Internet!

heroyalslimness

I am an author of a kid's book and I do workshops,assemblies readings,etc for adults as well as kids.
Invariably people take pictures. Of me, their kids and me, the book- their-kids and me. etc-etc
I ALWAYS say yes when asked to pose with the kids

I never say no--because people love to have event shots of their kids! It's all in fun. But then---they get uploaded to--the internet---without my knowledge or permission. It's usually the organization, that's the guilty party.
I never know--until there's a unpleasant surprise---that pops up while I indulge in my daily shameless habit of Googling my name:bigsmile:


Ordinarily I would not care --publicity is publicity-- but candids of me--right now are AWFUL.

I am going to have to do something--that upsets me to do but this is the THIRD time this has happened and the process to get Google to not include photos in Google searches--can be a lengthy one.

Now --I will HAVE to create some kind of disclaimer or caveat to my clients that candid shots remain private and/or public photos are not permitted. This means they will have to make an announcement that pictures aren't allowed. Organizations are free to use my publicity photos or photos of the book.

While I am in the process of losing overweight---it's just--hard to see those images on the world wide web.
I look forward to my after photos as new publicity shots!

supplemama

I hear you. Maybe just look at it for what it is...you are fat now but soon you won't be, then all the new pics of you at your slim self will be all over the web. The older pics will get pushed further and further down google's page rankings, probably. Personally I wouldn't stop taking pics with the kids over vanity.

donna_do_good

Don't google your anme then. I thought people could put up photos of anyone up, unless your a topless royal lol

Libb3C

I am sorry you feel that way. I can't imagine being in the public eye. Someday when you can look back at those photos and where you make it to, you will feel pride in what you have accomplished and where you came from weight wise. Best of luck!

heroyalslimness

I am sorry you feel that way. I can't imagine being in the public eye. Someday when you can look back at those photos and where you make it to, you will feel pride in what you have accomplished and where you came from weight wise. Best of luck!

I DID capture that image so I can look back-(soon-I hope) --and say "whew---that was THEN..lol
and thank God for NOW~"

Southern_Belle89

IMO you posed with them, they bought your book it's kinda like a celebrity I mean if you don't want your picture taken then don't have it taken but don't be upset when you google your name & find pictures you don't like. I hate having my picture taken with the way my body is right now but i'm not in the public eye or anything like that so I think it's just something you have to suck up...you chose to write books & go to these events where fans love you & want pics with you. Sorry if I sound harsh but at least it's not a fan coming up to you while you are eating a greasy slice of pizza to take a picture.....just my opinion.

arewethereyet

In the words of the Beatles, "Let It Be"

You are who you are. Right here. Right now. People see you every day and love you like you are. They even want a picture for posterity for their children. One day they will say "Mom, I remember this day. It was awesome and that lady was so nice!"

I promise they will not say "Oh mom, remember that fat lady?" Most will have your signed book, or a cd and have wonderful childhood memories that include you.

My dear. Be yourself. Right here. Right now. We are not promised tomorrow.

Just my humble opinion (as well as 10 year of my life lost to declining having my picture taken. It is as if I did not exist in my late 30s early 40s) I regret it always!

AWTY:flowerforyou:

hellokitty41489

If I met my favorite author and wasn't allowed to take a picture, or share it on Facebook with my friends, I'll be honest they wouldn't be my favorite author any more. Maybe that will sound harsh but it's true. You shouldn't punish kids because you put on weight; for some of them they aspire to be you when they're older and to be denied a picture that means everything to them just isn't fair. I'm sorry you don't like the way that you look but I'll be honest, there are very few people who care. No one expects an author to be a super model. Telling people not to take or publish photos of you though is very diva-ish and likely to gather more attention to your weight than anything else.

heroyalslimness

I hear you. Maybe just look at it for what it is...you are fat now but soon you won't be, then all the new pics of you at your slim self will be all over the web. The older pics will get pushed further and further down google's page rankings, probably. Personally I wouldn't stop taking pics with the kids over vanity.

Everyone has a dose of healthy vanity--- which is fine as long as it's not out of proportion. It's reasonable --while losing wight to be sensitive about photos right now. I am honoring that! It's silly to martyr myself over photos the kids won't even remember about a peripheral figure they met

---

month from now. I can give the kids--the book to hold for a pic! ---it's a BIG book--and they'll look cute! Also I autograph their books so there are other ways to have mementos of the event!

Google WILL remove the photo --but it's a process.

heroyalslimness

If I met my favorite author and wasn't allowed to take a picture, or share it on Facebook with my friends, I'll be honest they wouldn't be my favorite author any more. Maybe that will sound harsh but it's true. You shouldn't punish kids because you put on weight; for some of them they aspire to be you when they're older and to be denied a picture that means everything to them just isn't fair. I'm sorry you don't like the way that you look but I'll be honest, there are very few people who care. No one expects an author to be a super model. Telling people not to take or publish photos of you though is very diva-ish and likely to gather more attention to your weight than anything else.

Actually--the point is, I care

---

and that's enough for me!
It's only temporary while I achieve goal weight,anyways. I'll take my chances! I'm pretty popular with the little guys. :blushing:

There are other ways to connect with kids!

heroyalslimness

In the words of the Beatles, "Let It Be"

You are who you are. Right here. Right now. People see you every day and love you like you are. They even want a picture for posterity for their children. One day they will say "Mom, I remember this day. It was awesome and that lady was so nice!"

I promise they will not say "Oh mom, remember that fat lady?" Most will have your signed book, or a cd and have wonderful childhood memories that include you.

My dear. Be yourself. Right here. Right now. We are not promised tomorrow.

Just my humble opinion (as well as 10 year of my life lost to declining having my picture taken. It is as if I did not exist in my late 30s early 40s) I regret it always!

AWTY:flowerforyou:

lol---I am myself. It's a for a few more months. I thinking Feb--I should be at goal!

And looking to lose 40 pounds----no one calls me "fat lady"

heroyalslimness

Sorry if I sound harsh but at least it's not a fan coming up to you while you are eating a greasy slice of pizza to take a picture.....just my opinion.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I'll remember to hide my pizza in my pocket :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

hellokitty41489

If I met my favorite author and wasn't allowed to take a picture, or share it on Facebook with my friends, I'll be honest they wouldn't be my favorite author any more. Maybe that will sound harsh but it's true. You shouldn't punish kids because you put on weight; for some of them they aspire to be you when they're older and to be denied a picture that means everything to them just isn't fair. I'm sorry you don't like the way that you look but I'll be honest, there are very few people who care. No one expects an author to be a super model. Telling people not to take or publish photos of you though is very diva-ish and likely to gather more attention to your weight than anything else.

It's temporary while I achieve goal weight. I'll take my chances. I'm pretty popular with the little guys

There are other ways to connect with kids!

Maybe you are popular with the kids, but I think that kind of behavior will leave a bad taste in the mouths of parents/promoters and they are the ones that actually support you and buy your products. Regardless of whether it is temporary or not, Jane's mom is still going to remember that you wouldn't allow a picture of you two because of vanity. By choosing to do public events and write books for the public to read you're putting yourself out there, and it just so happens we are in an age where everything ends up online. You made that choice, you have to accept what comes along with it.

I understand about not liking the way you look, I do. There are pictures on Facebook that I wish no one would ever see. But like someone else said once new pictures of you go up, the old ones will get pushed farther and farther down. Yes everyone is allowed to be vain but to take it out on people that support you isn't fair to them.

Southern_Belle89

If I met my favorite author and wasn't allowed to take a picture, or share it on Facebook with my friends, I'll be honest they wouldn't be my favorite author any more. Maybe that will sound harsh but it's true. You shouldn't punish kids because you put on weight; for some of them they aspire to be you when they're older and to be denied a picture that means everything to them just isn't fair. I'm sorry you don't like the way that you look but I'll be honest, there are very few people who care. No one expects an author to be a super model. Telling people not to take or publish photos of you though is very diva-ish and likely to gather more attention to your weight than anything else.

It's temporary while I achieve goal weight. I'll take my chances. I'm pretty popular with the little guys

There are other ways to connect with kids!

Maybe you are popular with the kids, but I think that kind of behavior will leave a bad taste in the mouths of parents/promoters and they are the ones that actually support you and buy your products. Regardless of whether it is temporary or not, Jane's mom is still going to remember that you wouldn't allow a picture of you two because of vanity. By choosing to do public events and write books for the public to read you're putting yourself out there, and it just so happens we are in an age where everything ends up online. You made that choice, you have to accept what comes along with it.

I understand about not liking the way you look, I do. There are pictures on Facebook that I wish no one would ever see. But like someone else said once new pictures of you go up, the old ones will get pushed farther and farther down. Yes everyone is allowed to be vain but to take it out on people that support you isn't fair to them.

Love this! :flowerforyou:

aussiestargazer

Hi

Can relate to what you say - someone just posted about 40 pictures to facebook with me tagged when I was at my fattest - I cringe a bit but know when they see me next they will see the change. I do a lot of public talks and such as part of my job and am often in the local paper, magazines and the internet. I really hate seeing them but now I have already lost 26kgs I can see the difference - still not keen on having a photo taken but it is nice when people notice the change.

Look at it from the perspective of what the after shots will be like!

Folks really like to have their photos taken with people and then to show them off on the internet or wherever to share the occasion. It is flattering in its own way!

we are who we are at whatever point and hey at least they wanted to have their photos taken with you - be cool!

Not worth stressing about!

heroyalslimness

Maybe you are popular with the kids, but I think that kind of behavior will leave a bad taste in the mouths of parents/promoters and they are the ones that actually support you and buy your products. Regardless of whether it is temporary or not, Jane's mom is still going to remember that you wouldn't allow a picture of you two because of vanity. By choosing to do public events and write books for the public to read you're putting yourself out there, and it just so happens we are in an age where everything ends up online. You made that choice, you have to accept what comes along with it.

I understand about not liking the way you look, I do. There are pictures on Facebook that I wish no one would ever see. But like someone else said once new pictures of you go up, the old ones will get pushed farther and farther down. Yes everyone is allowed to be vain but to take it out on people that support you isn't fair to them.

Not true--I've done hundreds of these events. It's not that deep for the parents as long as they get a memento of some kind.
Your post, while I can respect differing opinions -- is super judgmental,by the way. A little bitter actually.:huh:

Again---this is T-E-M-P-O-R-A-R-Y. I am pretty diligent and expect to be close enough to goal by Feb-March.
It's mostly organizations --that are the culprits--and from now on --I just have to explain---about my photo policy --and offer them publicity shots.

This is by the way, standard practice with many artists. Many artists request that candids are not used as promos---but from their own stock of publicity photos.

MOST parents are ALL ABOUT --WHERE CAN I BUY THE BOOK? This is when I've been at an event without copies.
Do you have a newsletter? Do you have another book? Do you have a card? Do you appear at schools?
Do you have a website?


NOT--why can't I have your picture?

When I have said no--no one CARES. Least of all--the kids~as long as they get something ELSE.
They LOVE taking away a souvenir. And if they have a book---it's so exciting to see how happy they are.
I will be selling t-shirts- and other items---giving away bookmarks---

Really.. the pix issue --will be negligible.

I just personally do not like saying no.. but to protect my self from random photos popping up-over the internet
I need to start setting those boundaries.

I am blessed to a great rapport with kids--AND parents. There are creative ways to say no--and I do it in such a friendly way
--no one is offended!

Kids absolutely LOVE this one character in my book and parents love photographing them with this character.

In the meantime--I heard back from my client---who apologized and is in the process of having it removed
It will be replaced with a photo of my book! whew~

Bluescat1

I have been working musician for 20+ years and there are lots of pictures of me floating around the internet, some are flattering and some look crappy. I have not liked looking at myself in pictures for a long time and that's why I have done something to improve my appearance. I agree with "By choosing to do public events and write books for the public to read you're putting yourself out there, and it just so happens we are in an age where everything ends up online. You made that choice, you have to accept what comes along with it." If You don't like the way you look, make it a form of motivation to keep you on track.

cmriverside

Not true--I've done hundreds of these events. It's not that deep for the parents as long as they get a memento of some kind.
Your post, while I can respect differing opinions -- is super judgmental,by the way. A little bitter actually.

Again---this is T-E-M-P-O-R-A-R-Y.

MOST parents are ALL ABOUT --WHERE CAN I BUY THE BOOK? This is when I've been at an event without copies.
Do you have a newsletter? Do you have another book? Do you have a card? Do you appear at schools?
Do you have a website?


Not--why can't I have your picture? When I have said no--no one CARES. Least of all--the kids~
I am blessed to a great rapport with kids--AND parents. There are creative ways to say no--and I do it in such a friendly way
--no one is offended!

Kids absolutely LOVE this one character in my book and parents love photographing them with this character.

In the meantime--I heard back from my client---who apologized and is in the process of having it removed
It will be replaced with a photo of my book! whew~

Op, at first I understood. Then, you got more and more "shrill". I hope your fans never see this side of you. It's not attractive to be so insecure and petty.

You've gotten good advice int his thread . Those pictures are already out there.

Let it be. It's not a big deal. You are acting like a spoiled child.

heroyalslimness

Op, at first I understood. Then, you got more and more "shrill". I hope your fans never see this side of you. It's not attractive to be so insecure and petty.

You've gotten good advice int his thread . Those pictures are already out there.

Let it be. It's not a big deal. You are acting like a spoiled child.

:huh: huh?

neverstray

I have some experience with this entire topic.

First, I'll say this: At the end of the day, the world has changed. People think it's OK to snap pics and post them as they please.
Second, If you are in a public place, you can't stop it. Celebrities have been trying to outlaw it, but freedom issues pop up too much and the courts uphold a citizens right to do what they want in public. So, if you are in public, it's just TS.
Third, If you are in a business private business, which I doubt you are (if the public can walk in and out at will, it's not a private business), then the business can implement rules for you about photos. It's more about them than you, but they can just say, "No Photos".
Fourth, always remember how you make people feel. That's what sticks with people. Your issue is yours not theirs, and they will feel weird if you start telling them no photos, or if they take them, please don't post them.
Fifth, if they take them, they will post them regardless of what you or they say or sign.
Sixth, my advice is to let it happen and just continue, and work on yourself. There are too many downsides to telling them not to take pics or to tell them to take them but not post them.

Lastly, if you are going to say something, or do something, please remember that it has to be enforceable, otherwise it's just stupid. So, if you ask people not to post photos on the internet, and they do, what are you going to do about it. If the answer is nothing, then just don't bring it up. If you are going to open lawsuits for those people that do it, see what I wrote above about that, and go talk to a few celebrities that have tried to sue papparazi (sp?).

heroyalslimness

Hi

Can relate to what you say - someone just posted about 40 pictures to facebook with me tagged when I was at my fattest - I cringe a bit but know when they see me next they will see the change. I do a lot of public talks and such as part of my job and am often in the local paper, magazines and the internet. I really hate seeing them but now I have already lost 26kgs I can see the difference - still not keen on having a photo taken but it is nice when people notice the change.

Look at it from the perspective of what the after shots will be like!

Folks really like to have their photos taken with people and then to show them off on the internet or wherever to share the occasion. It is flattering in its own way!

we are who we are at whatever point and hey at least they wanted to have their photos taken with you - be cool!

Not worth stressing about!

Hi back!:flowerforyou:
Thanks! These are lovely thoughts to contemplate