I can't believe it.

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haley98110
haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
in Motivation and Support
I must have been in denial. I mean.. I know I'm fat. I've gained 30lbs in a few months. I need to lose 50lbs over all.
Anyway got insanity today and did the fit test with my husband. It kicked both our *kitten* and he's in the army and does PT everyday. Naturally he got better scores than me which I of course expected being that I have a horrible diet, no excerise etc.
So after I had him take my before pictures. I felt so gross standing in front of my own husband in shorts and a sports bra. When I saw the pictures after I just burst into tears. I don't know how he's still attracted to me. I can't beleive I didn't realize how disgusting I looked. I put clothes in a box that I was wearing a few monts ago that I can't wear now. I just moved to Hawaii and have the worst body I've ever had. I'm just in shock right now and so upset with myself.
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Replies

  • DaniKenmir
    DaniKenmir Posts: 387 Member
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    Wow I could have written this! I know just how you feel and my bf (also army) is constantly telling me that I AM attractive and I just make fart noises at him, it's beyond belief. Just remember they'll see you at your worst but they're the only ones who get to see you at your best too!
  • Shrelana
    Shrelana Posts: 248 Member
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    I have heard great things about the Insanity workouts...stick with it and the weight will come off...I'll give you a tip that seems to be working for my hubby and I...go to the grocery store and pick out veggies to experiment with :). We've discovered a few tasty dishes this way...someone also recommended quinoa to us...it has protein but less calories than meat - so will help you there :)

    Good luck, and you'll find tons of supportive people here :)
  • Whiteweb80
    Whiteweb80 Posts: 7 Member
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    You poor thing. I completely sympathise. But everything has changed now hasn't it? Because you can see what needs to change and now you have got the motivation to change it. MFP is the tool you are going to use to get to your goal and now all you have to do is grit your teeth and do it. Have a hug. Loads of people have experienced the same sort of thing and there are loads of amaing success stories on here to show that it is achievable. GOod luck!
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    You are a beautiful person no matter what! You can't beat yourself up for imagining what your husband thinks of you - you are still the woman he married whatever your size. It's taken me a while to to stop questioning why my husband is still attracted to me - I figured he would find me gross as much as I do. You've made a great start so keep going baby!
  • JalonTicara
    JalonTicara Posts: 8
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    I could have written this a few months ago. :-/
    I hope I don't sound harsh....but sometimes that's what it takes. Hopefully that pain will encourage you daily as you eat and exercise. I put those 'before' pics EVERYWHERE. On my fridge, snack cabinet, wallet...everywhere. Before I grabbed those cookies I'd think..I don't wana look like this. Then I'd go exercise. Hopefully you'll be encouraged. Were mfp friends so hopefully I can encourage you! :)
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    Wow I could have written this! I know just how you feel and my bf (also army) is constantly telling me that I AM attractive and I just make fart noises at him, it's beyond belief. Just remember they'll see you at your worst but they're the only ones who get to see you at your best too!

    My husband is the same. Still keeps telling me he loves me the way I am and I don't need to lose a pound but I do need to for myself. It's just so sad when my hubby weighs 150lbs and I weigh 199lbs.
    Like seriously how is he attracted to this. When I met him I weighed 164.
    I guess I put on those "love pounds" plus an extra 30 lol
  • DaniKenmir
    DaniKenmir Posts: 387 Member
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    Yeah I laughed at the 'people in a relationship gain weight' law, until I moved in with him, 15 kilos later and I'm thinking did I always look like this, then 2 months a go I saw some pics I sent him of my new clothes at the time and I was mortified that none of them fit me anymore. Time for a change!
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    I have heard great things about the Insanity workouts...stick with it and the weight will come off...I'll give you a tip that seems to be working for my hubby and I...go to the grocery store and pick out veggies to experiment with :). We've discovered a few tasty dishes this way...someone also recommended quinoa to us...it has protein but less calories than meat - so will help you there :)

    Good luck, and you'll find tons of supportive people here :)

    Thanks that's great advice. My husband has trouble keeping weight on for the army, so he's not big on veggies. I love all kinds of veggies and fruit I just don't eat enough. I'll need to start now, time to learn some new recepies!
  • riiah86
    riiah86 Posts: 35
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    Girl, I know the feeling. I'm not as hard on myself but I can understand your feelings. My man is in the military as well,and we may possibly be moving to hawaii soon,and I am currently at my highest weight. I have a solid 40-50lbs to lose. we should be friends!! accountability partners and all!
  • bastol
    bastol Posts: 3
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    i'm with you there.. i was thin as a toothpick before i got into a relationship and 13 years later i am almost 100lbs over that look in fat.
    I'm down 40 after using this app and have put on muscle so another 20 or 40 to go before i can find myself a new girl . (yes i let the old one go a ways back..long story ) single and loving it
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
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    I'm going to tell you the same thing a coworker told me. Your husband is attracted to you for your personality, not your looks. Yes, looks play a part, but generally, once you get the ring around your finger, it has moved beyond the just physical attraction.

    That being said, I understand completely what you mean. I've had the same thoughts myself, at one point or another. Men can "get away" with being heavier but women can't. Whether that's true or not is irrelevant. Women will tear themselves down and apart when they realize they are overweight and want to do something about it. Men, may or may not. And you'll gain weight while in a long term relationship. Especially if you've had children. But it's not an impossible journey. He's right there supporting you. And you have a huge network of people here who will cheer you on, if you let them. So chin up. You're already taking massive steps in the right direction.
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    Thank you all so much for your kind words. I've known I've needed to change for a long time but haven't done it, I like to eat my emotions. I've seen so many people succeed on MFP but I've never had the mind set that I can do it too. I guess I need to change my thinking.
    On another note I just found out that my best friend of 16years died on Wednesday and I was supposed to get insanity yesterday. I honestly didn't think I was going to start it. I feel so depressed and not wanting to do anything, but today I madeyself get busy and do the fit test and told myself I'm going to do this for me know matter what else is going on in my life.
  • riiah86
    riiah86 Posts: 35
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    I could have written this a few months ago. :-/
    I hope I don't sound harsh....but sometimes that's what it takes. Hopefully that pain will encourage you daily as you eat and exercise. I put those 'before' pics EVERYWHERE. On my fridge, snack cabinet, wallet...everywhere. Before I grabbed those cookies I'd think..I don't wana look like this. Then I'd go exercise. Hopefully you'll be encouraged. Were mfp friends so hopefully I can encourage you! :)
    Girl good idea, I'm embarrssed to put my before pics everywhere, but thats a huge motivator to see that everytime you head to the fridge for some junk..like uh uh honey we aint tryna get back to that.lol...can I add you??
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    i'm with you there.. i was thin as a toothpick before i got into a relationship and 13 years later i am almost 100lbs over that look in fat.
    I'm down 40 after using this app and have put on muscle so another 20 or 40 to go before i can find myself a new girl . (yes i let the old one go a ways back..long story ) single and loving it

    I've always felt bigger, never felt skinny but now I regret my ways of thinking. Congrats on your success thus far and try not to repeat the cycle with the new girl! Lol
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I could have written this a few months ago. :-/
    I hope I don't sound harsh....but sometimes that's what it takes. Hopefully that pain will encourage you daily as you eat and exercise. I put those 'before' pics EVERYWHERE. On my fridge, snack cabinet, wallet...everywhere. Before I grabbed those cookies I'd think..I don't wana look like this. Then I'd go exercise. Hopefully you'll be encouraged. Were mfp friends so hopefully I can encourage you! :)
    Girl good idea, I'm embarrssed to put my before pics everywhere, but thats a huge motivator to see that everytime you head to the fridge for some junk..like uh uh honey we aint tryna get back to that.lol...can I add you??

    Please add me!
  • riiah86
    riiah86 Posts: 35
    Options
    I could have written this a few months ago. :-/
    I hope I don't sound harsh....but sometimes that's what it takes. Hopefully that pain will encourage you daily as you eat and exercise. I put those 'before' pics EVERYWHERE. On my fridge, snack cabinet, wallet...everywhere. Before I grabbed those cookies I'd think..I don't wana look like this. Then I'd go exercise. Hopefully you'll be encouraged. Were mfp friends so hopefully I can encourage you! :)
    Girl good idea, I'm embarrssed to put my before pics everywhere, but thats a huge motivator to see that everytime you head to the fridge for some junk..like uh uh honey we aint tryna get back to that.lol...can I add you??

    Please add me!
    done!
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    you just moved to hawaii? lucky girl : )
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    Girl, I know the feeling. I'm not as hard on myself but I can understand your feelings. My man is in the military as well,and we may possibly be moving to hawaii soon,and I am currently at my highest weight. I have a solid 40-50lbs to lose. we should be friends!! accountability partners and all!

    Omg that would be awesome if you came here to HI.
    I have the same amount to lose. When we were pcsing I lived out of a suitcase for 2 months and had no kitchen etc so we ate a lot of fast-food. I just had to tell myself I'm probably gonna gain weight but I will lose it when I get settled in the new house. Let me know if you are coming to the island!
  • haley98110
    haley98110 Posts: 65 Member
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    you just moved to hawaii? lucky girl : )
    Yes hubby got stationed here. It's beautiful but I don't even wanna go to the beaches looking like a whale ya know!
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 441 Member
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    (((Haley))), you are absolutely beautiful!!! Feel proud of yourself for facing this head on now. It's 50lbs and that is manageable. You could have avoided the problem for a lot longer, with say 150 lbs to lose after being shocked into action as a result of receiving bad news from your doctor about your B/P, diabetes etc. This is a positive turning point and as painful as it seems now, you will be grateful in the near future.

    Read some of the posts on the 'Success Stories' page. Find friends here that will motivate you. You CAN do this!

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