Broke up

lostinureyes17

I know this isn't fitness related but I needed somewhere to air this out. So my fiance of 4-1/2 years just told me he's unsure if he wants to be with me anymore. Just like that no warning. He swears there isn't anyone else but I don't know what to believe right now. I guess people just change...? Now while I'm finishing up nursing school (I graduate in December) I have to find somewhere new to live and separate all of our finances. Any words of encouragement are much appreciated!

TropicalFlowerz

First, I wanna say I'm so very sorry for yur heart right now.Please stop,take a deep breath and try to look at this as a possiable blessing ,painful ..yes...but better to hurt now than look back 10 yrs from an unhappy marriage. Pick up yur broken heart and move forward,...you maybe crying but soon you will be filled w/ anger ,..and the best thing to do is move forward,complete school,hold ya head up mama!,..deep down you know u are strong & can get through this.It will be tuff at first,in 3wks it'll be alot better,keep up the good wrk om MFP,....dont drown yur sorrows in a chocolate cake,do an angry wrk out(running or kick boxing)~hang in there best wishes

mommacxjx

This happened to me as well, except that I was pregnant with his child at the time. It felt like the most awful thing ever, took me a long time to get over it. But it truly was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have a wonderful husband now and am a thousand times happier than I would have been had I got what I wanted at the time. I'm sure the same is true for you

jlwbeans0823

I'm sorry that you're going through this. If it were me I'd need a little more explanation as to why he feels this way. That would be the only way I could work through the breakup and not let it linger. If he opens and talks to you about what is going on maybe that would open some other alternatives than just breaking up. My boyfriend and I fight over some silly stuff and he is not the best communicator. Often times I don't know what is happening until it's too late to avoid a fight. Then the feelings come out and it's like triage to patch things up. I'm not sure if I'm giving the best advice, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that communication is key. 4 1/2 years is substantial and it would be a shame for him to walk away without talking to you more about the issue or issues he may have. I wish you the best and good luck. You'll get through this.

halobender

It's certainly better that you broke up than got married if he wasn't 100% sure of it. Deep down you must have had reservations as well, right? I can't imagine anyone not having any, though, at least a little bit.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like it was venomous in any way, which is nice.

But don't try to be friends, get a new place as soon as possible and ... probably don't keep anything that reminds you of him.

Inb4allthegirlssayhe'sobviouslyaloserjustbecausehemadeasmartdecision(becausehedidn'ttrapyouinsomethinghewasn'tsureof)

sizzle92

First off....say whatever you want on this section of the forums! I hate when people say "it's not fitness related!" Hey moron, it's "games chit chat and fun".........

I am so sorry. How hurtful. And even if he changes his stance, I imagine you will be plagued with wondering if he really wants this, ya know? I am so very sorry. :flowerforyou:

skowalska

Cheer up buttercup. NEXT!!!! consider it a blessing from God. When one door closes, another will open...your prince charming will be around to swoop you off your feet. Keep your head up chickie, count your lucky stars you didnt marry this man.

bahacca

I am so sorry. I think I, too would want a further explanation, but, in all actuality, he may not yet be able to really pinpoint his issues until he matures and grows on his own. I'm sorry you have invested 4.5 years with this guy, but like another poster said, I'm glad you won't be having this happen 10 years from now when you have kids and other battles to fight other than just a place to live and a bank account.
If it were me, this would be fuel to my fire to get healthy and in shape and look and FEEL my best. Kind of a "Look what you are missing out on!" kind of thing.
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

lostinureyes17

Thank you for all the replies! I really appreciate them. I am glad it is happening now rather then when we are married. I'm still kind of in shock. I didn't see it coming and it's some added stress I don't really need. I will be getting out of here as soon as possible. Even if I have to move home until school is done. I just can't stay here as friends. It really hurts and I'm upset at what I feel like has been wasted time but I'm going to "let go and let God"

AZKristi

I've very sorry that you are going through this right now. Hang in there - it sounds like you have a bright future ahead of you, with or without this guy.

strohma1

Sorry to hear this. But better now than in 5 years with 2 kids. You are young and there is so much good out there for you!

kimosabe1

Wow! I know how devastating that is because it happened to me. Concentrate only on yourself for a bit. This happened for a reason and one things for sure....there is way better out there for you! Just realize how important you are, finish school and make something wonderful happen for yourself......

sizzle92

Agreed....so much better now than later!

CarleyLovesPets

I'm so sorry.
Something similar happened to me as well.
One day buying stuff for our new place... Next day he's moving out.

Never expected, not even a little.

joann1948

First of all, I am very sorry for the hurt and sorrow you are going through. Everything happens for a reason, and it is better to know now than later. I am going through a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage, and it is very difficult. I started on this website after we seperated and I have lost 85 lbs and feel great, have my self esteem back. Lean on me for support anytime. Joann

lostinureyes17

Yes I thank God no kids have to be involved. I know that brings on so many more hardships. Breakups are great for weight loss so here's to the bright side!

Lobster1987

awww I'm sorry for your broken heart

strikerjb007

I am going thru the same exact situation. Except that my wedding was supposed to be this month. And of course I am a guy and got dumped! Lol. Anyway, cheer up, it's tough at first and it will get better. Sort things out and let him decide if he's really ready or not. If he's not, then move on. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you!

Go on a trip! I did. I was out of the USA for 17 days. I was solo and it was awesome! Take on a new hobby and whatever you do, don't start eating because of this. It's common for some people to let themselves go. And remember, above all, you have to love yourself. Even if he doesn't love you back! Send me a message, we can talk some more. Use exercise to keep yourself busy.

lostinureyes17

First of all, I am very sorry for the hurt and sorrow you are going through. Everything happens for a reason, and it is better to know now than later. I am going through a divorce after 25 yrs of marriage, and it is very difficult. I started on this website after we seperated and I have lost 85 lbs and feel great, have my self esteem back. Lean on me for support anytime. Joann

OMG I cannot even begin to imagine losing someone after 25 years. Whatever happened to marriage being forever? To me when he proposed to me that meant he wanted to spend his life with me and we could work out any problems that arose...guess not

naomi8888

Go after strikerjb (above) he looks HOT!!! *drool*

Sharon009

You are a smart one to leave and not hang on as a 'friend' hoping he'll change his mind. I commend you for showing that you know you are worth more than that.