Allergy Peeps: Do you ever feel ALONE?

EccentricDad

I am lactose intolerant. I also have some kind of digestive system issue that makes legumes and long chain proteins wreck havoc in my intestines. When I tell people what I eat they say "why don't you eat (insert food that makes me sick)" and when I tell them that my digestive system HATES it, they don't get the hint that I'm sad about this and they go on and on about the foods that I can't eat.... While I do my best to show enthusiasm for their passion of eating these food poisons, I can't help but feel alone and self pity that I can't have this experience with them and they didn't show ANY enthusiasm for the foods I was eating.

Does anyone else feel alone when you hear about foods that you've had to shun for a better quality of life or you when you see it on someone's food diary? The pros outweigh the cons by a lot, but there's still that "I just want to have my cake and eat it too like everyone else" feeling too, ya know?

EccentricDad

Bump because I'd like to know if anyone else feels like me.

TheRealParisLove

I have a friend who developed a seafood allergy as an adult. She used to eat fish regularly as a kid, but didn't buy it often as a young adult for financial reasons. When she was in her 30's, she was treated to a nice seafood dinner and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Today her allergy is so bad, that she can't even eat food off the same plate that had seafood on it with out a reaction. It is like the people with severe peanut allergies, where even just a tiny trace amount could be deadly to her. Since she lives in Phoenix, AZ it isn't a huge problem as seafood isn't much of the culture there. But her allergy has limited her ability to do things like travel to the beach (she has to bring her own food, can't trust restaurants) or join friends at popular chain seafood restaurants or sushi bars.

It does depress her that her options have been taken away. She has adjusted her lifestyle so that she doesn't risk an emergency room visit or death every time she dines out. She gets tired of having to explain to people over and over why she can't join them at Red Lobster for their birthday party (or whatever).

SarahAFerguson

Yup, sometimes. Corn (in any form), corn derivities, and milk of any kind are off the list for my middle daughter. My husband cannot tolerate those items either and also has a severe reaction to peppers. My oldest and youngest daughters and I can eat anything without problems. I have some friends whose kids have "weird" allergies and intollerances. We figured out that between the three families there was not one single meal we could eat together and feed all the kids the same thing.

jus_in_bello

I can't have gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, or stone fruits outside of the summer season. I don't complain about it, I find alternatives and use allergy friendly food blogs...and handle it like the adult I am. I developed all of these at 22, stop complaining and move on. I can't eat freaking gluten, wheat, flour, food starch, malt, barely, caramel coloring...soooooo we can discuss food intolerances if you really want to.

cuarrech

I have a few. Outright allergy now to oranges and possibly also grapefruits which is new this year and gives me scary esophageal spasms and heart palpitations. Mild by some standards, but those spasms feel like a heart attack. I also have a wheat intolerance/celiac symptom; I get bumps on my legs. I seem to have digestive intolerance to a few things, mostly grains and beans, but I haven't narrowed it down. I just decided to avoid them most of the time. Just restricting grains and beans (especially wheat) makes eating outside the house less fun, though. So yeah, I do understand.

onedayillbeamilf

Have you looked in to Zoloft and group therapy?

momtokgo

I am lactose intolerant. I also have some kind of digestive system issue that makes legumes and long chain proteins wreck havoc in my intestines. When I tell people what I eat they say "why don't you eat (insert food that makes me sick)" and when I tell them that my digestive system HATES it, they don't get the hint that I'm sad about this and they go on and on about the foods that I can't eat.... While I do my best to show enthusiasm for their passion of eating these food poisons, I can't help but feel alone and self pity that I can't have this experience with them and they didn't show ANY enthusiasm for the foods I was eating.

Does anyone else feel alone when you hear about foods that you've had to shun for a better quality of life or you when you see it on someone's food diary? The pros outweigh the cons by a lot, but there's still that "I just want to have my cake and eat it too like everyone else" feeling too, ya know?

I understand 100% how you feel. I can't have gluten, meat/seafood, eggs, dairy or tree nuts, and right now I'm also corn free to test for an intolerance.

I'm lucky because my mom has all the same intolerance, plus some, and she can answer all my questions and tell me what and what not to eat. And when we have family get togethers we enjoy gluten free, dairy free, egg free brownies together and that makes things easier.

But its hard to sit with my kids and my husband and watch them eat all the things I love without being able to join in at all. I know it will get easier, I"m just going onto month 3 of being free of everything, and I'm trying to embrace my limitations and make amazing things with what I do have left, but there are definitly times that I feel like stomping my feet and yelling about how its not fair.

emmalene1984

think yourself lucky you don'thave any life threatening allergies, my other half is deathly allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, legumes, egg, fish, seafood and is vegetarian, eating out whether at a restaurant or friends is very difficult and more often than not, just not worth the risk, but we have used a bit of imagination and have found a wealth of foods he can eat and many delicious meals. It just involves some substitution and imagination. because of his allergies he can't travel, its not just about what he can/ can't eat but also what he cannot come into contact with in any way. so think yourself lucky. I also have a few bizarre food allergies (raw fruits and root vegetables) but again, i find ways around this (someone else prepares them, i eat them cooked but not very often, and these allergies are still developing and did not start until i was in my late teens/ early twenties, its difficult when you miss a food you used to love (i would kill for a fresh juiucy nectarine) but its just life. your best bet is just to get on with yours and find the foods and things in life you CAN enjoy rather than concentrating on what you CAN'T eat. :-)

rotill

I can't have gluten, something I discovered fairly recently. Luckily it takes a while until I get a reaction - it needs to accumulate a bit. This means I can get away with a slice of bread if nothing else is available, or a social taste of the very special and important cake for a celebration. But for day-to-day stuff, I have to avoid it, or suffer the painful consequences. I also get a similar response to sugar and starch, so rice or potaoes isn't really an option. I live quite comfortably with it, though.

But when people invite me, it's like: "Oh, by the way, can you eat... " "No, sorry, but I can eat just about all vegetables, and everything else. Don't worry about it, I am sure there will be a lot I can eat." "Now that is difficult, can you eat... " "No, sorry, it's gluten in rye as well, but I can eat everything exept... But if you have a salad, or a little cheese and some vegetables, I will be fine, don't worry about it." Which, of course, leads to a lot of complaining when we meet, and they had to put the croutons next to the Caesar's salad, or what ever needed to be done. It's enough to make me a little vary about telling people about my allergies - I sometimes just shut up and suffer the consequences. Luckily that's an option.

Also, I put a lot of effort into trying to get things right for others, and I do it with pleasure, and without complaints. I know how important it is.

BeautyFromPain

Yup.

I'm allergic to all seafood, lactose intolerant and sensitive to bread.
(Only one I can eat is wholemeal seeds but still makes me bloated)

Articeluvsmemphis

I can't have gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, or stone fruits outside of the summer season. I don't complain about it, I find alternatives and use allergy friendly food blogs...and handle it like the adult I am. I developed all of these at 22, stop complaining and move on. I can't eat freaking gluten, wheat, flour, food starch, malt, barely, caramel coloring...soooooo we can discuss food intolerances if you really want to.

food allergies=rudeness? hmm, I think your up-tightness is justifiable due to the fact you can't eat a thing.:indifferent:

Annieswan

I am allergic to Shellfish, fish and mangos, so is my son. We found out about 8-10 years ago. It is really frustrating because we are "foodies" and we love to travel...and food was a major part of exploring different cities and countries. I end up spending a lot of time online searching out menus so I know where we can and cannot eat when we vacation. The problem for us is not so much the foods we are allergic to, but the cross contamination issue stops us from eating at 75% of restaurants. Having allergies really makes things difficult sometimes and people just don't understand about allergies and cross contamination unless they had to deal with it themselves or someone close to them. It can get very frustrating, but there are ways around it and we've learned to accept it, but we still miss our old lives when we weren't allergic to anything. Anyway, as you can see from all the responses, you are not alone.

kakklespakkle

I find it most difficult when friends want me to go to their house for dinner, or to take me out for dinner. My family and friends are GREAT about it, and will always ask me where I can go and what I can/can't eat, but I do feel a bit awful being the one to limit our options all the time.

However, even though I sometimes think 'mmm - I wish I could eat that', I only have to think about what I was like 12 years ago, when I was having difficulties and didn't know it was food causing them. I would gladly give it all up again and again to not be like that, it was a terrible time.

jenilla1

You aren't alone. I have a digestive disorder that limits what I can eat too. My liver can't process large amounts of fats at one time so I have to eat low fat foods and spread my healthy fats out in small doses throughout the day. I am also sensitive to red meat, milk, and fried food, and if I eat anything too high in fat I start puking out both ends. It takes days to get it out of my system and it's pretty miserable. While I'm waiting for my bowels to calm down I have to eat plain white rice, egg whites, poached chicken breast, water and bananas for days and the whole time I'm feeling a mixture of nausea and starvation. It can be depressing at times when it seems like it will never end. But other than the times when I get sick, I don't feel like an oddball eating differently from the people around me. My family and friends are totally used to it. It encourages me to eat healthy - just the smell of fast food turns my stomach. I have a great excuse to not join in when other people are pigging out on garbage. I use MFP to help track whether I'm getting enough nutrients and to make sure I don't lose too much weight when my condition flares up. It's been pretty helpful for that. :flowerforyou:

angelicasmommy

Have you looked in to Zoloft and group therapy?

You read his post and jumped to the conclusion that he was depressed? Wow.

I feel that way sometimes, but the opposite at times too. Whenever my mom invites me and my daughter over for supper, my mom tries to cook a gluten free dinner and desert for all of us, and at times like this past Sunday, we had ice cream and everyone else had a slice of apple pie, she always keeps saying "I feel so bad for you!" and "You can't eat (insert yummy food) or (insert another yummy food)" It's like, "I am not feeling sorry for myself, but if you keep bringing it up, yea I'm going to be upset about it."

jenilla1

Does anyone else feel alone when you hear about foods that you've had to shun for a better quality of life or you when you see it on someone's food diary? The pros outweigh the cons by a lot, but there's still that "I just want to have my cake and eat it too like everyone else" feeling too, ya know?

Actually, I am so sickened by these foods, that when I see other people eating them I think to myself how disgusting it is and how can they stand it. I am glad it's them eating it and not me. I have enough delicious foods that I CAN eat - my favorites being pasta, vegetables and small amounts of reduced fat aged cheeses (not a problem for me like milk is). I find delicious recipes and then make substitutions to make them edible for me. It's a fun challenge and a creative outlet. I don't miss greasy, fatty foods AT ALL - except maybe donuts. Just find the foods that you can eat and that you enjoy and focus on the positives. Works for me. :drinker:

fteale

In some ways. I can't eat oranges or anything orange flavoured and I am used to it, but I do get very hungry and irritable around Christmas when EVERYTHING has orange in, and I go to drinks parties or coffee mornings and there is literally nothing I can eat. But it feels like a bit of a first world problem! I am used to it now. I know my diet is restricted by that, and being vegetarian (and my God people go on about meat, which makes me feel ill just at the thought).

jus_in_bello

I can't have gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, or stone fruits outside of the summer season. I don't complain about it, I find alternatives and use allergy friendly food blogs...and handle it like the adult I am. I developed all of these at 22, stop complaining and move on. I can't eat freaking gluten, wheat, flour, food starch, malt, barely, caramel coloring...soooooo we can discuss food intolerances if you really want to.

food allergies=rudeness? hmm, I think your up-tightness is justifiable due to the fact you can't eat a thing.:indifferent:

I can eat a lot of foods, so many foods, as can the OP, who is complaining about not being able to eat dairy or legumes. I'm simply helping him put his food allergies into perspective. I've been hospitalized for mine, he gets gassy, he needs to see that he doesn't have it so bad and be appreciative that he has as many food options as he does.