lost all faith is support groups

i lost all faith is this page. i thought we were all here to help each other and support each other. i stated an OPINION on a message board and had my head taken off about drinking calories and stated things that HAVE WORKED FOR ME AND HELPED ME and it wasnt what everyone wanted to hear... thanks for the support i receieved through some people. i give up and am on to a new page thanks to the people who ruined it for me. i wish the rest of you success of your journey.

Replies

  • ladyonaquest
    ladyonaquest Posts: 605 Member
    Don't allow anyone to ruin your journey to a healthier you! You don't know any of the people on here other than communicating via postings. You are stronger than that!! Keep on moving forward and forget about it! In life, you will have MANY people who disagree with you but that doesn't mean the death of you! Keep on keeping on!! Don't let anyone run you off!!!
  • miltongurl05
    miltongurl05 Posts: 64 Member
    I know what you mean. I simply asked a question when I first joined about a diet I heard about and got chewed out over it. The only support I get are people from my friend's list. I'm thinking it's best for me to stay out of the forums altogether. Doesn't seem to support or motivate me in the least. You offering advice on what works for you is a good thing. It may not work for everyone, but it's an option for some and gives people something to think about. Have a great day and continue to inspire others! :smile:
  • hina2584
    hina2584 Posts: 24 Member
    people are not always good to you or sometimes circumstances are not that good................ignore negativity always........throw bad things away and have a good smile on your face:smile:
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Just remember... opinions are like *kitten*. Everyone has one and they all stink. :laugh:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Just don't add them as friends, lol.
    The forums can be a cruel mistress indeed. You can get jumped on for anything. Why not just take it as a lesson learned and go about your day without it being ruined by some interwebs people
  • There are way more supportive people here than not.... you just had the bad luck of finding some that suck :(

    You know what worked for you - be proud of it and keep it up!

    Don't give up!
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
    It's true that not everyone here is nice. There are some downright nasty people here, and then there are some that aren't really mean, but their words don't often come across as friendly. But at the end of the day, we're all responsible for our own feelings and for the way we react to other people. So you can choose to let these people discourage you, and leave the site because you don't want to be exposed to negativity. Or, you can choose to see MFP for what it is: a group of people with disparate personalities, and sometimes those personalities don't mesh, and that's ok. It's really up to you. If you do choose to leave, that's nobody else's fault. And if you choose to say, that's not because of anyone else either. You're in control of your reaction.
  • Dang - I think she closed her account :(
  • TexasTroy
    TexasTroy Posts: 477 Member
    Well, on behave of all nice and supportive ppl on MFP, im apologize for the idiots. There are some good ppl here.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    An important lesson that has served me well in life is...

    ...when it seems like a lot of people are responding in a surprising way to something I said/wrote, it is in my best interest to carefully reconsider what I said/wrote to see if/how it might have been misunderstood. Often, I realize that the real problem is not actually theirs.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
    I'm sorry you had that experience. I, too, have noticed some members that are "less than supportive." I know of some members who don't use the boards at all, but just use the diary, tools, etc. Best wishes to you.
  • Some people are just rude. Don't let anyone keep you off of here. Feel free to add me if you like. I like to encourage and
    not discourage people. What works for one may not work for another.
  • cosmic_starfish
    cosmic_starfish Posts: 14 Member
    Don't give up!! There are always people who think their OPINIONS are the facts and that anyone else who tries to suggest a different idea is wrong. Don't let them get to you. I agree with miltongurl05, I've had great support from my friends group. Feel free to add me if you like. :-)
  • tinacrane
    tinacrane Posts: 134 Member
    Weight loss and health are a journey, with many starts and stops. A few people voicing their opinions should not derail a person's weight loss!

    My advice, if you don't want other people's opinions: stay off the forums. Also when you do post: do not 'yell' ( Write in all CAPS) or tell others what they are doing wrong in their weight loss journey: that is not supportive.

    P.S. She deactivated her account. I read her other post btw and she used alot of CAPS and exclamation marks, all while *telling* others not to use calories for liquids....just saying...she really didn't sound too nice in her post and her replies were even worse :(
  • Ph4lanx
    Ph4lanx Posts: 213 Member
    For reference, it wasn't that people were rude. They didn't agree with her opinion, so they gave their own. They did nothing wrong, but she didn't like that people then offer her some advice instead against her own ironic thread. That was all. Shame she took it that way. Have a look here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/751602-don-t-drink-your-calories
  • trixiemou
    trixiemou Posts: 554 Member
    Actually I disagree some were rude and just a little over the top.
  • Ezada
    Ezada Posts: 207 Member
    For reference, it wasn't that people were rude. They didn't agree with her opinion, so they gave their own. They did nothing wrong, but she didn't like that people then offer her some advice instead against her own ironic thread. That was all. Shame she took it that way. Have a look here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/751602-don-t-drink-your-calories

    Yeah, I read that thread earlier too, the OP sounded harsh and condescending in that thread, using all caps, which is well known in the world of the internet to indicate shouting or sarcasm. The term "duh" was used and then if people differed from the OP's opinion, they were attacked by the OP using the "Freedom of Speech" card.

    The OP had a bad experience because they came off extremely rude in the first place, which was met with rude responses. It's a shame it had to end that way, but this post about how they have "lost all faith" in support groups is extremely dramatic, and I get the feeling had the OP stayed there would have been a bit more drama on the boards.

    I love the internet :)
  • jgm379
    jgm379 Posts: 97 Member
    I have noticed that most people who reply with a negative comment are people who have already lost their weight and are now transformed into "know it all" snobs.
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
    I looked at the thread it looks like people were just giving their opinion and she yelled at them for it.
  • I have noticed that most people who reply with a negative comment are people who have already lost their weight and are now transformed into "know it all" snobs.

    i was just going to say the same thing! its a shame they ran her off.
  • emuhawk
    emuhawk Posts: 62 Member
    I looked at the thread it looks like people were just giving their opinion and she yelled at them for it.

    That's how I saw it too. She started out with a pushy post, someone responded with a thoughtful and respectful disagreement, and she started screaming about free speech and how everyone else but that person agrees with her. Of course, the thread predictably devolved after that.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I looked at the thread it looks like people were just giving their opinion and she yelled at them for it.

    That's how I saw it too. She started out with a pushy post, someone responded with a thoughtful and respectful disagreement, and she started screaming about free speech and how everyone else but that person agrees with her. Of course, the thread predictably devolved after that.

    Actually, it seems like the first response to her may have been deleted. She goes from dictatorial soapbox to extremely defensive in back-to-back posts, but something seems to be missing in between.
  • emuhawk
    emuhawk Posts: 62 Member
    I looked at the thread it looks like people were just giving their opinion and she yelled at them for it.

    That's how I saw it too. She started out with a pushy post, someone responded with a thoughtful and respectful disagreement, and she started screaming about free speech and how everyone else but that person agrees with her. Of course, the thread predictably devolved after that.

    Actually, it seems like the first response to her may have been deleted. She goes from dictatorial soapbox to extremely defensive in back-to-back posts, but something seems to be missing in between.


    Ah, you're right. At least some posts have been deleted. I see that one from the OP (quoted by several people elsewhere in the thread) is no longer there. Must be the moderators? If there's a way to completely remove your own posts, I don't know about it.
  • BABetter1
    BABetter1 Posts: 618 Member
    Ah well, I also dislike the rude and agressively argumentative posts that come up so often in these forums. It does seem as though some people hang out here looking for someone to jump on. But, I am not going to USE THEM AS AN EXCUSE TO QUIT. . . . . . Do these "all caps" make my post look big? :wink:
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    I have noticed that most people who reply with a negative comment are people who have already lost their weight and are now transformed into "know it all" snobs.

    i was just going to say the same thing! its a shame they ran her off.

    If you read the thread in question you'd see that no one ran her off. She posted a strongly opinionated rant about other peoples dietary habits while netting about 700 cal per day herself and then took umbrage when called out on it.

    I belong to a number of different on-line communities and trust me, even the "meanies" here are gentle by comparison. (Just for fun go to a scuba forum and brag about diving to 240fsw on air - make sure you're wearing your asbestos underwear! :laugh: ) Around here it seems that someone disagreeing with you is considered bullying. :huh:
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I call troll.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    For reference, it wasn't that people were rude. They didn't agree with her opinion, so they gave their own. They did nothing wrong, but she didn't like that people then offer her some advice instead against her own ironic thread. That was all. Shame she took it that way. Have a look here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/751602-don-t-drink-your-calories

    Yeah, I read that thread earlier too, the OP sounded harsh and condescending in that thread, using all caps, which is well known in the world of the internet to indicate shouting or sarcasm. The term "duh" was used and then if people differed from the OP's opinion, they were attacked by the OP using the "Freedom of Speech" card.

    The OP had a bad experience because they came off extremely rude in the first place, which was met with rude responses. It's a shame it had to end that way, but this post about how they have "lost all faith" in support groups is extremely dramatic, and I get the feeling had the OP stayed there would have been a bit more drama on the boards.

    I love the internet :)

    Thanks for providing the link. Many people WERE supportive of the OP, even though she was so aggressive with her opinion. There's a way to post to share what's working for you to try to help others, but there's a way to post that just offends people. I don't agree with how most people on MFP are eating and I do share my opinions (mostly when it's invited); however, it doesn't make sense to post aggressively/condescendingly and then not expect people to react in a similar fashion.

    I love MFP. Even though many people don't understand my dietary choices, so be it. It is supportive here for the most part, but sometimes I notice that if I spend too much time in the forums it can be too much. So just take a break or stick to like-minded groups. Stop taking things personally.
  • I have noticed that most people who reply with a negative comment are people who have already lost their weight and are now transformed into "know it all" snobs.

    i was just going to say the same thing! its a shame they ran her off.

    If you read the thread in question you'd see that no one ran her off. She posted a strongly opinionated rant about other peoples dietary habits while netting about 700 cal per day herself and then took umbrage when called out on it.

    I belong to a number of different on-line communities and trust me, even the "meanies" here are gentle by comparison. (Just for fun go to a scuba forum and brag about diving to 240fsw on air - make sure you're wearing your asbestos underwear! :laugh: ) Around here it seems that someone disagreeing with you is considered bullying. :huh:

    Yep... that's how I saw it too! You have to have a thick skin when publicly posting on the internet. You have to take it all with a grain of salt and draw your own conclusions. Take for instance the title of this thread -"Lost all faith in support groups" - I am not sure how the OP's topic in question was related to "support".
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I feel ya, OP.