Are you losing weight for yourself or someone else?

SugarBearRetired

I thought about this because, yes, I do want to lose 20 pounds for me, but also I know my husband wants me to. He's very nice and says nothing, but I know he can't help but notice my weight gain. I mean, the man sees me "nekid". I started wondering if I were single would I be as focused on it? I don't think so, really. Not to say I'm losing it "for him" but I'm more comfortable being a little overweight than I am being comfortable with his seeing me this way. Does that make sense?

SugarBearRetired

I thought about this because, yes, I do want to lose 20 pounds for me, but also I know my husband wants me to. He's very nice and says nothing, but I know he can't help but notice my weight gain. I mean, the man sees me "nekid". I started wondering if I were single would I be as focused on it? I don't think so, really. Not to say I'm losing it "for him" but I'm more comfortable being a little overweight than I am being comfortable with his seeing me this way. Does that make sense?

Skinnier_Me

Makes complete sense to me.
I don't get naked infront of my hubby.
Can't remember the last I did.
I'm losing weight for myself b/c of my asthma and for my family.
I say for my family b/c I want to be healthy when we finally decide to have our 3rd child and I don't have to worry about being over weight during and after the pregnancy.

Hubby doesn't mind the rolls on my sides or how jiggly my tummy is.
But I do.

Eve23

I am definately doing it for myself. In the summer particularly I have a tough time with allergies. But I would also like to be happy in my own skin. I would also like to be a good example for my kids and be able to go do things I enjoy but have not been able to do comfortably.

loreeb18

I'm trying to lose weight for myself, for better health and to look better. I also want my husband to keep finding me attractive. But I think I worry more about being attractive to him than he does.

I also want to get in good shape for my future family. I want to get in shape so when I get pregnant, I can have a healthy baby and so when they're growing up, I have the energy to take care of them and be a good mom.

littlekimmyishy

I think mostly its a want for myself. I want to be able to share clothes with my friends, and feel like im attractive for more than my "personality". I apparently am pretty confident as it is, but i do want to be able to feel like that confidence is justified. So I want to lose the weight for myself, but I know that it partially has to do with being attractive to my partner.

DoubleC

Definately for myself. I want to have more energy and be healthier, but I also want to be proud of myself and fit into some of my old jeans. (I'm cheap and hate shopping!)

I also have two big events coming up- a huge surprise birthday party and I'm part of a wedding party in the next two months. I don't want to spend those nights hiding because I feel fat.

litehalo

I understand where you are coming from! I myself find myself uncomfortable with my body in front of my hubby. He's totally understanding, though. He says he will always love me no matter what I look like - overweight or thin - doesn't matter to him. Doesn't change who I am. No matter what we look like, we are still the same old person inside. I'm trying to lose weight because diabetes runs in my family, along with a laundry list of other health problems. So far, I am healthy even with the extra pounds - but I know the clock's ticking. I figure that the longer I can put off getting sick, the better! The longer I can put it off, the longer I have to enjoy my children (they are 3 and 5 now)!

jlwilson

I'm losing if for myself and my family. I have a hubby and 2 young daughters (3,6). 2 weeks ago we were at the ER b/c hubby thought he was having a heartattack. It was a real wake up call . He quit smoking, drinking, eating salt and all that good stuff!!! we started working out and have had a real llifestyle change in just 2 weeks. It's daft that it took a hospital trip to open our eyes but whatever it takes I guess. Plus, we were lucky and he was ok...Now just 40lbs to go!!! :-)

apojones

I know that we as a society have learned that healthy weight is important. However, it amazes me that many years ago being a larger woman was something to brag about because it meant you had the money to eat well (look at the art in your local museum). That meant it was sexy for a woman to undress in front of her husband when she had a little too much meat on her bones. Sooooo.... I contend that the healthy weight desires are good, but that the feeling of shame is produced by our new societal perceptions of what is a sexy body type. My husband and I are trying to get to a healthier weight, but neither one of us wants to be rail thin, because this simply is not sexy. My husband doesn't want to hold a bag of bones and I don't either. We are aiming for healthy, not extreme.

amandawhinery

I am definitely losing weight for myself. But, if I were extremely overweight I would worry about if my hubby still found me attractive. My hubby gives me mixed signals about the whole thing he actually seems to find me more attractive when I am carrying a little extra lbs, but I am not happy when Im chubby. So I guess this is definitely for me because to tell you the truth I would be very hurt if he asked me to lose weight or anything like that, because he married me for whats on the inside not how much I weigh

onyxangel

I'm loosing my weight for myself, and for my children. I want to be able to keep up with my young-uns (3 and 4) and I want to teach them to be healthy as well. I can't do that if I'm not healthy! The goal, for me, isn't to be thin just healthier. I want to be more active as well - so that I don't sit and just watch TV with my kids, but get out and *do* things like walks, bike rides (when they're older), maybe a bit of rock climbing. If they get into sports, I want to be able to participate with them in that, too.

And I want to be comfortable in my own skin. Men may like me a little heavier, but I don't. I feel uncomfortable with even the idea of being seen without clothes - and I don't like that. I'm tired of feeling like my weight holds me back.

Skinnier_Me

Here's to us being healthy for us & our families!

LadyZoe

My answer is pretty much the same as loreeb18's. *smile*

I do want to lose weight for myself. When I weighed around 134 and more active I felt great, felt healthy and I was full of life and energy to burn.
I want that back, but I want it the right way this time so it sticks around. (It's been only about a year and a half since I went from 134 to 194 *ugh* But I was using the wrong diet methods so it was bound to happen.)

I am also trying to lose it to feel more sexy and attractive when I am around other people.

It's extremely important to me NOT to be stuck in the cliche' house wife scenario.
Hot, in shape, active and married DO go together. *LOL*

Plus, I am determined to get in better health and shape for when the time comes for pregnancy and babies.

I'm happy to say that since I started using MFP I have went from that 194 I mentioned above...to 186 a month ago, and now 182 this morning when I weighed myself! *woo!t*

izzyrut

Congratulations ladyzoe, a job well done.
I am losing weight for myself, to be healthier and feel better, to be able to go for a walk/run with friends and not be out of breath.
I am also losing weight to be more attractive for my boyfriend, but not because he wants me to, but because I want to.

McKnightAM

ALL HUBBIES ARE LIARS!! lol I am losing weight so that when i look in the mirror i can be proud of what i see.... now my hubby says that i'm perfect the way that i am... i asked him to picture me 30-40 pounds lighter and how you would feel walking down the street with me,, and how he would feel thats when he realized that i may be perfect in his eyes now,,, but i would also be perfect in his eyes then.. but much skinnier in the image!! lol..... .i am a very self concious person so unfortunatly i also do it mainly for the way other people look at me which is very sad to say!!

mack0918

Hi...this is the first time I'm replying to any topic other than introducing myself so forgive me if I'm a bit rough around the edges.

I'm definitely doing this for myself. But, unfortunately, I sometimes get in a state where I don't really give a damn and just let go. When I do that and then come to a realisation, I kick myself. I think, one can refer me to the mother of all yo-yo dieters. I'm there, I'm not there, I'm there...if you get my drift. In the long run, it really is for me, all I really need to do is respect myself enough to say that I deserve to have a better life than the one I have now and this (losing weight, living healthy) is how to get to it. Perhaps I'm also doing this for my family, either it's a reaction to their nagging or it is true genuine concern from myself. Sigh. It's just hard to go at it alone...

Chris50

I have to say a little of both! Not long ago, my husband spoke what I knew to be true. Although he knew his cooking was most of the reason I've gained 30 pounds since we met, he admitted he found me to be undesirable at the weight I'm at now. I can't tell you how much that hurt. I do feel very uncomfortable at this weight and have started to work very hard at getting back to the weight I am most comfortable at. I've only been working on this for a week, but I lost two pounds and was happier than anyone could imagine because I saw that as a victory. I am doing this more for myself than him because I want to feel good about myself again.

san_dalis

definitely for myself... but i agree with a lot with what all of you say... i would always love to be attractive to my significant other, but i know it's less of a concern for him -- when i was 40 lbs. heavier last july 2006, and 40 lbs. lighter in May 2007, he couldn't tell the difference. it's a good feeling to feel good about yourself! =o)