Uncooperative partner

searolex

My partner is dead negative and unhelpful about my resolve to shape up. He makes rude comments about my food and refuses to go along with my attempts to improve our diet. He does not have a weight problem (yet) but does not look after his diet and drinks far too much beer. I want us both to live into a healthy old age.

How have other people got their partners involved?

llaurenmarie

My partner is dead negative and unhelpful about my resolve to shape up. He makes rude comments about my food and refuses to go along with my attempts to improve our diet. He does not have a weight problem (yet) but does not look after his diet and drinks far too much beer. I want us both to live into a healthy old age.

How have other people got their partners involved?

Unfortunately, no one's going to follow along if they don't want to. By the comments it doesn't seem like he has a desire. Do it for you, why do you need anyone a partner in order to improve your life..?

kel665

Just do it for yourself. There is plenty of support on here

KANGOOJUMPS

yep, i hear ya! Mine is the same way, they need a kick in the *kitten*!

Rachlmale

Unfortunately you cannot just make someone eat healthily if they do not want to. As much as partner support is a great thing, I'm sure you're more than capable of doing it on your own. Good luck to you, there are great people here who will stick by you and not be 'rude' about you wanting to live a healthier lifestyle.

He won't be mocking you when you're his super fit GF

lacroyx

Sorry to hear that. Fortunately for me I don't have that problem. :laugh: "Forever_Alone.jpg" :frown:
It sucks at times but I never have to deal with those issues. I hope it works out for you and I agree with other posters here. MFP friends is a great support system.

Graceious1

I just started doing more, eating less then talking about how good I feel. He noticed my shape change then started to join me. He still needs to work on what he is eating and drinking but at least he bought a bike and now rides an hour to and from work and actively uses a gym. I got him to use a bike for work because I ride to work and sold the idea of saving tons of money not using public transport. In London it can be very costly.

I find that if you talk about the indirect benefits of healthy living such as decreased stress, better sleeping, confidence, lower blood pressure etc. you are more likely to get them on side.

If you just do what you need to for yourself, he may notice the positive changes in you and come around, if he is ready.

MADCAT333

Yep - I agree with the above - you gotta do it for yourself !

As a footnote - and as a Man, I was in denial and critical of "Health Freaks" until it was pointed out to me that so many problems begin internally and by the time they show on the outside they are well developed and more difficult to combat/control.

Considering that in an honest fashion led me to MFP, a complete change in lifestyle and I am grateful to my friends for their support and criticisms !

matthewlamere

The fact that he's not over weight right now is why he isn't in the mood to diet. The empty calories from the beer will build up in his gut before they do any long term damage and he'll be begging you to show him the ropes on dieting so that this time next summer he can look just as good as you on the beach.

GuybrushThreepw00d

Rude comments aren't helpful.
Conclusion I've come to is that if your partner isn't interested is to just try not to talk food/exercise around them. Its tough, as staying focussed becomes a part of your life that you can't share with the one you love.

BelindaDuvessa

I haven't yet, not with fitness at least.

In regards to eating, I didn't give him a choice. I told him we were going to start eating better, and I would be making Menus. I show him the Menus and if there's something on there he doesn't like, we talk about it and I pick something else. Most of the time, though, he goes with it. I told him that if we finalized a Menu and I cooked it, he had to at least try it. I have the same rule for my kids. So far, there's not been alot that he doesn't like. We share in the cooking, although if it's a new recipe, we schedule it on my days off so I can cook it. I like to tweak recipes to my own liking, since I have some things I don't particularly like to eat. I don't force him to eat it if he doesn't like it, and if we find out he doesn't like something, I don't make it again.

I'm not sure how long you and your partner have been together, though, so this might not work for you. We've been together for 8 years. I make the choices of what we eat, but I make sure he is also involved in the decision making. And I make sure to also put things in the Menu that I know he likes, just so he doesn't feel too deprived. Like anything in a relationship, it's about communication and compromise.

searolex

Thanks for the comments. I am doing it for myself. It’s just hard sometimes when he sits there stuffing his face with crisps and other unhealthy stuff. Yesterday evening it was “pork scratchings” (which is probably a uniquely British culinary delight). These have got to be about the unhealthiest food ever. Then he opened a bottle of wine that I had been saving for a special occasion. At nearly 100 cals per glass it would blow the diet out of the water if I joined in.

persephone87

My partner is dead negative and unhelpful about my resolve to shape up. He makes rude comments about my food and refuses to go along with my attempts to improve our diet. He does not have a weight problem (yet) but does not look after his diet and drinks far too much beer. I want us both to live into a healthy old age.

How have other people got their partners involved?

Get rid if he's disinterested he doesn't sound like the type of man I'd want as a partner. The idea is to be supportive if you want to eat crap or eat well.