Dealing with sadness

Sharonks

Sally, your depression isn't just out of the blue but caused by events in your life. Understandably, you have good days and bad days. Overall, you eat very healthy foods and you get regular exercise. Perhaps right now it is time to strive for maintenance more than weight loss. You look very good and have reached a point that if you never lost anymore weight you would be very healthy.

If you feel that medication would help then go talk to your dr. I know you get up every morning. You spend time with friends. You walk your dog. All good signs that you aren't severely depressed. I think you are slowly recovering equilibrium and you will have more and more good days.

katescurios

I really think it's worth talking to a doctor. I have been through this myself and tried to just power through and it got worse. I finally went to the doc who prescribed low dose anti-depressants. Within a month I was better than I had been in years. I have motivation, want to exercise, have lost 21lb, my personality has come back.

I hadn't even realised how much I had stopped trying and caring about myself until the meds kicked in.

It may not be the right solution for you but if not they will at least be able to give you some advice about other options.

cPT_Helice

Someone above said that if this has gone on for longer than 3-4 weeks you should get to a doctor. I disagree. I lost my husband and I can tell you that the pain and loss and sadness went on for a lot more than 3-4 weeks and drugging me would not have been the solution. There was only 1 actual cure and that would have been for him to have not died. That was not going to change. So, it had to be left to time and prayer and taking care of myself and my kids. Taking care of me involved eating right and lots of exercise. I needed those endorphins bad. I have days still when I will cry during a run because I still miss him. But that time is my time and it's time for reflecting and remembering and I talk to him and I talk to God. The pills simply numb the pain. You have to go through it to get to the other side.
I'm not saying that no one needs meds. But, clinical depression and situational depression are two totally different things. It is normal for our bodies (including our minds and hearts) to go through a mourning period. It sucks and it hurts but it is normal.
I disagree with the people who say to take a break from what you have been doing. I say the more normal/routine you can keep your life and the more you stay on the path of something positive, the better you will do.
Good luck and God Bless!

lyttlewon

I have struggled with depression many times in my life. I have discovered that exercise is helping me considerably. I had the worst, most stressful, want to break down and cry day at work on Thursday. I ran three miles and I felt incredibly better afterwards.

Depression is not something to take lightly. If you feel it is interfering with your ability to function, then you need to seek help. There is nothing wrong with investing in the health of your mind.

SuffolkSally

I really think it's worth talking to a doctor. I have been through this myself and tried to just power through and it got worse. I finally went to the doc who prescribed low dose anti-depressants. Within a month I was better than I had been in years. I have motivation, want to exercise, have lost 21lb, my personality has come back.

I hadn't even realised how much I had stopped trying and caring about myself until the meds kicked in.

It may not be the right solution for you but if not they will at least be able to give you some advice about other options.

yes - I've rather been down that route.

I sort of keep busy with stuff - have loads of friends, etc. All of that doesn't really help me with the dark side, much...

So grateful for all the helpful ideas and thoughts though!

katevarner

I disagree with the advice to go out for a couple of drinks. Alcohol is a natural depressant. Even if you feel good when you are out drinking, part of the hangover is depression for the next few days while you get the alcohol out of your system. I was depressed for years (and on several different medications) when I was drinking. Been sober 10 years. Never happier, and in that time I lost my father, quit my job and went into business for myself, and was a single parent.

Talk to your doctor about trying something for the depression, but understand that several medication solutions may actually make you gain weight. Read up on the medication before you decide to take it and let your doctor know that gaining weight on medication is a concern if it is.

Good luck!

MissMormie

Go talk with a doctor. If nothing else (s)he can take away your fear that you're depressed. Sometimes just that chat will make things more clear for you. Going to a doctor isn't the same as getting medication. It's just getting a check-up because something isn't right. And in fact, there are some other medical reasons when you can't get away from your sadness or grief. It might be as easy as some vitamin pills to fix you (in case of a vitamin D shortage), so do yourself a favour and get checked up.

I've just finished an intensive 4 month therapy (3 days a week) to deal with a clinical depression, and a lot of the points people give are good. But whether or not your depressed or just down there's some things you need to be aware off.

1. Stick to your schedule. Don't cancel visits, don't call in sick, make sure you have enough 'me-time' in your schedule as well
2. Energy is limited, so keep your visits a bit shorter, don't try to work at 110%, take a break a bit more often.
3. Exercise! Exercise makes endorfines in your brain. They make you happy. But, remember rule 2, make sure to not overdo anything. Don't exercise till you can't go anymore, that'll just make it harder to do the rest of the things you need to do that day. Instead exercise at 75%. So you can feel proud of doing the right thing without being exhausted after.
4. Personal hygiene is important. So take care of yourself. You'll feel better after a nice shower, fixing your make-up, eating healthy. But again, don't overdo it.
5. Distract yourself if you're feeling down. Go paint, walk, bake cookies. Do not wallow in self pity, that'll just make you feel worse and doesn't solve anything.


It gets better. My shrink keeps telling me that there's no one who doesn't come out of a depression. It might take time, but in the long run you WILL feel better.

Edited to add point 5

Megabot

I've been fighting with these feelings too. My mom got cancer, my mom died, my grandma died when my mom was in the hospital for surgeries, a bit later my mom died, then my cat (who was all I had left) died too. It was all within about 14 months. I did *not* know which way was up, where to turn, or who would even understand. Brownies were the only thing I ate for a while. The first year after that I gained 60+ pounds, and it's 3 years later and I'm still trying to lose weight. I'm just now down about 15 from my highest weight, but it's STILL HARD. I only really started losing weight last year at this time.

It's a fight with myself every day. And no one understands that I still am sad over all this stuff.

I can tell you that trying to stay consistent is key. I do SO much better when I just drag my *kitten* to the gym. By the time I've exhausted myself for an hour, I honestly feel great. I feel sad going into the gym> feel proud of myself, worn out, and pumped by the time I come out. Even if I'm crying at the gym, I still try to go. You can do it.

SavageRabidBeast

Take a break. In the grand scheme of things calorie counting will wait until you are ready to start thinking about yourself again. It sucks being sad, when you feel a bit more like yourself you can get back to it. In the mean time just try to make good choices, and exercise. It honestly improves your mood. Hope you feel better soon xx

Totally agree! If your mindset is not in it right now just give yourself a break and focus on dealing with the other issues in your life and being happy again. When those issues have been mended and taken care of, you will be ready to get back at it and continue kicking *kitten*!

malicent

I disagree with the advice to go out for a couple of drinks. Alcohol is a natural depressant. Even if you feel good when you are out drinking, part of the hangover is depression for the next few days while you get the alcohol out of your system. I was depressed for years (and on several different medications) when I was drinking. Been sober 10 years. Never happier, and in that time I lost my father, quit my job and went into business for myself, and was a single parent.

Keyword: couple. I didn't tell her to go get smashed or anything, and certainly not to the point of having a hangover lol.

We're talking apples and oranges here; she lost loved ones recently. You were depressed for years, taking 'several different medications' while drinking. I don't think that having some good company and a few drinks for an evening would hurt. In fact, I bet it'd do the trick. Then again, speaking for myself, I don't have an addictive personality.

What are you all a bunch of wussies! I don't mean to be insen--whatever. Suck it up and move on, cause guess what! The world ain't gonna stop spinning! Make your peace and keep working out and sticking to the plan. If you let this get in the way, you're only going to have another setback and feel worse in the end! Not only will you have lost some loved ones, but you'll be fatter to boot! So congratulations for that! In the end it all comes down to you, you're the one that you gotta live with. You're the only one to blame. Now, are you going to let this brick wall stop you in your tracks or are you gonna make like the Kool-Aid Man and BURST THROUGH THAT ****! OH YEAHH!!!

malicent

You don't need a doctor, you don't need no pills. You certainly don't need a psychiatrist! Go ahead, keep thinking like that. Listen to what these other clowns say cause it'll only bring you down. Even if you don't listen to me, just do what you want to do. I feel like your posting this thread is a way for you to ask permission and gain sympathy and approval to "take a break" AKA QUIT ON YOURSELF. And look at all these sheep, baa baa baa'ing back right at ya, telling you what you want to hear. If you really agree with them, wasting your money to go in for a check-up, to buy prescription medication, then more power to you. Unfortunately there's no easy button on weight loss and maintenance, and THERE'S DEFINITELY NO EASY BUTTON FOR LIFE!

ARGH.

MaraDiaz

That's good. I want a dog so bad; I need a jogging/walking partner!

Yeah take your time on the weights, sounds like you're doing well with it.

sadness & depression > self-pity & eating > gaining weight > more sadness & depression > struggling & frustration > gaining weight > loss of confidence and hope > obesity > death

sadness & depression > fear > anger > hate > suffering from insanity workout and/or p90x > boost of confidence & ambition > establishment of the galatic empire > construction of the death star > glory and fame > SITH LORD STATUS > SO MUCH WIN!


"I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat" - Fat B@stard (Austin Powers)

One day your ambition and mine will clash, young Sith. But meanwhile, best read I've had all day! :drinker:

lyttlewon

You don't need a doctor, you don't need no pills. You certainly don't need a psychiatrist! Go ahead, keep thinking like that. Listen to what these other clowns say cause it'll only bring you down. Even if you don't listen to me, just do what you want to do. I feel like your posting this thread is a way for you to ask permission and gain sympathy and approval to "take a break" AKA QUIT ON YOURSELF. And look at all these sheep, baa baa baa'ing back right at ya, telling you what you want to hear. If you really agree with them, wasting your money to go in for a check-up, to buy prescription medication, then more power to you. Unfortunately there's no easy button on weight loss and maintenance, and THERE'S DEFINITELY NO EASY BUTTON FOR LIFE!

ARGH.

Just because you go to a doctor doesn't mean they are going to give you drugs. Give me a break.

cookn_mama

I really think it's worth talking to a doctor. I have been through this myself and tried to just power through and it got worse. I finally went to the doc who prescribed low dose anti-depressants. Within a month I was better than I had been in years. I have motivation, want to exercise, have lost 21lb, my personality has come back.

I hadn't even realised how much I had stopped trying and caring about myself until the meds kicked in.

It may not be the right solution for you but if not they will at least be able to give you some advice about other options.

Totally agree. Didn't care if I wrapped my car around a tree on bad days. Talk to a doctor you can trust. Be honest!!! Fluoxetine worked for me.

Shannon2714

I understand this quite well. Unfortunately, I am an emotional eater....it's how I got the way I am right now. One thing I have learned is that the healthier I am, the better I feel and the better I deal with the negative stuff. Feeling bad physically, being fat, eating junk, etc all made me feel even worse on top of the pain and depression.

I know that it's hard to focus on weight loss when you're down, but even if you just make small changes you'll make a huge difference...

Good luck and I hope you begin feeling better....feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

lowpingboy

To everything, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn. Etc. Allow yourself to feel sadness but take care to not be consumed by it.

Eat some strawberries. They always make me feel better.

miss_grad

I can relate to this.

My mom passed Nov 22, 2007... So this time of year is always a struggle. Especially with holidays. It's not the same anymore.

Itsme_Mary

To everything, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn. Etc. Allow yourself to feel sadness but take care to not be consumed by it.

Eat some strawberries. They always make me feel better.

You are to funny..

refinley2

write it down, find people, and take long walks

babeinthemoon

I've been there. Right now the only thing in my life that I can control is the # of calories I eat, and the amount I exercise. So, for now, that's what I am doing.