Jealousy

chicfreak9

Has anyone here been jealous of someone else's success. You and your fitness buddy go into to this together but fitness buddy has lost more than you. I eat right I do the workout thing and I am losing the weight so slowly that i'm irritated by fitness buddies steady loss (my 1-2 pounds a month to her 2-5 pounds per month). How did you get over it? I feel like this is a hindrance to my personal success.

jllove871

Just focus on you! yes your attitude and emotional state can effect weightloss, you lose faith and hope and therefore determination! Be happy for your fitness buddy and be happy with yourself!

chicfreak9

I kinda feel like shes rubbing it my face like "ha ha I'm losing and your not"

cad39too

It's human nature but you just have to focus on you. Yes you started the journey together but it happens differently for everyone.

Don't be derailed by her successes, use it to motivate you - you'll get there.

Keiko385

I kinda feel like shes rubbing it my face like "ha ha I'm losing and your not"

Thats pretty sad if she is doing this. Karma can be a real ***** though when she hits a plateau and you are still losing at that nice steady pace

chicfreak9

thanks for the support and suggestion,

kimosabe1

I would rub it in her face on how HAPPY you are for her.... I think she would ease up if that were the case.

RunsOnEspresso

I don't think I'd call it jealousy but sometimes I get down when I see these people who post about losing 20 pounds in 2 months (or whatever) and I've lost 8 since July. I just have to remind myself that everyone is different and they may have started at a different point or may have had a lot more to lose than I did.

I have to keep telling myself to be patient and keep at it. I will get there someday, just maybe not as fast.

If your friend isn't being supportive, you should say something to her. She may not realize what she's doing or how much it bothers you.

AliciaStaton

Hi you need to focus on yourself, this is your journey. I have a friend who has lost a lot of weight while Im losing but slowly, to me as long as it comes off, Im happy, and I am happy for my friend because we are supporting each other and we swap ideas as well. Good luck

chicfreak9

If your friend isn't being supportive, you should say something to her. She may not realize what she's doing or how much it bothers you.

I keep thinking it in my head, all she is doing is posting her progress here on MFP and on FB and when ever we talk its always about what she ate and what she did for exercise.

CJisinShape

Have you tried praying about it? It's really wonderful to be able to applaud someone else's success, because in a small way, you're sharing it, like eating birthday cake at someone else's birthday party. Your bodies are different, and no doubt you are eating different things and metabolizing them differently. God can give you peace about the pace of your weight loss and the ability to enjoy your friend's success.

MyPsalm63

Maybe she's just very excited. It doesn't sound like she's trying to rub it in your face. I know when I'm on a roll, posting and sharing keeps me motivated. I think maybe you're reading to much into it. Be proud that YOU are making progress. I know sometimes it can be frustrating when its happening slowly, but something is better than nothing.

If your friend isn't being supportive, you should say something to her. She may not realize what she's doing or how much it bothers you.

I keep thinking it in my head, all she is doing is posting her progress here on MFP and on FB and when ever we talk its always about what she ate and what she did for exercise.

etoiles_argentees

"Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind."
Mary Schmich

katevarner

My business partner and I have both lost a bunch of weight, but he started (and finished) before I did. Now we are both in maintenance, but he's slowly gaining and I'm still slowly losing. People where we work comment constantly on the amount both of us have lost, but he's so upset that he's gaining (a total of 4 lbs after losing 55) that it seems to be making him mad at me because I'm not. I've tried telling him that we are not competing and that he's lost more than I have, but he's still upset. I have a hard time not talking to him about food and workouts, tho, because that's what he talks about all the time.

Tell your friend how you feel if what she is doing or saying is hurting your feelings that much. Maybe she isn't doing it on purpose. Or maybe she is but doesn't realize how much it's hurting your feelings. Or maybe she's a jerk and you should put some distance between you. Regardless, you don't need to let it upset you as that might actually cause you to lose less. Stress is a killer in more ways than one.

jazzalea

coming at it from the other side..... my gf and I were supposed to do this together.... she was about 20 pounds heavier than I was to start.... and she asked me to do it with her..... I did everything I could to support and encourage her.... but she would constantly make excuses as to why she couldn't exercise, why she ate what she did and became very defensive about things.... the more weight I lost the more defensive she became and she started making snide comments about why I was losing the weight.... what my motives were and how I wasn't doing it for the right reasons...... it ended up costing me her friendship and it is still one of the things I regret.

I know she felt that I was rubbing it in.... but I wasn't.... I really wanted her to do it with me so that she could start feeling better about herself.... I really loved her and wanted the best for her.... maybe that's what's going on with your friend?

disclaimer: not saying I know what I'm talking about..... just talking about what I know :flowerforyou:

zyxst

I'm jealous a lot, it's why I don't accept friend requests. It pissed me off to see my friends dropping consistently while I'm boinging around the same 3#. I ended up clearing my friend list. I kinda feel bad for doing it, but it drove me batty.

msmarieann

Nope. As hard as it is, positivity in others comes back ten fold. This ultimately will give you the support you need in order to make your goals.

If your friends are taking that energy and not giving it back - walk on. Because they aren't your friend.

Sometimes I slip, but I remind myself that I love my friends and I am proud of them for their accomplishments and that I want to be there to celebrate with them. In turn, I hope they'll be there to celebrate with me when I reach my goals.

See? Happy!

moreORless50

my fitness buddy is my daughter so i.m always happy when she has a good week and looses a few pounds we keep each other motivated we share ideas and advice swop meal ideas and such like i couldnt have got this far with out her wouldnt have found this wonderfull MFP if she hadnt of looked for something i could record my food on and read so many wonderfull articals we are all in need of surport even them that loose weight faster

SopranogirlCa

I would say: I am very happy for you, good job. Just be nice, at some point in time she will clue in and be supportive. If she doesn't, then dump the B&$@!

Life is just too short.

chicfreak9

I am happy for her and i remind myself everyday that we are different body types and and ages. I know this is my psychosis and not anyone else's i think i just needed to get this out a purge so to speak. Maybe now that i've said it out loud i can move forward