Is this a social obligation?

vesperpt
vesperpt Posts: 44 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I have this friend from highschool who came to stay with me a couple weeks ago, just for the weekend. Her husband was staying on a friends couch, so I had her stay for 3 nights at my place. Over the weekend she was there, they ignored my calls all day, and showed up back at my place expecting supper. We cooked for them, her husband didn't thank us for supper, and left.

It turns out that he has come up from out of town again to look for work and they called and asked if he could stay with us. They wouldn't say how long he wanted to stay for, so I said I would talk to my boyfriend and see. I've met her husband once - the last time they were up, and I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I feel with someone staying with us for an undetermined amount of time. So he left a message last night asking if we were still on for staying at our place. Which I never confirmed.
I'm not sure what to say. I feel obligated to say yes, but I have this suspicion that soon I'll have a whole family staying with me. Eep! What do I say?

Replies

  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    It's definitely not an obligation. It doesn't sound like they were very respectful last time. Are you close friends with this girl? Also, what did your boyfriend say about it?
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    I say 'no way'. If you've got doubts then don't do it. Make up an excuse if that's easier but you'll get used again if you say yes.
  • hacker1234
    hacker1234 Posts: 225 Member
    It's a NO. It sounds like they took advantage of you last time. A couple days could turn into to a couple more and it just gets harder and harder. Just put it on your boyfriend and say it would cramp his style and he'd rather not. I'm sure he won't mind you using him as a scapegoat.
  • fitsin10
    fitsin10 Posts: 141
    Why would you???? Say no, sorry, I just don't have the time and we don't want people here unattented. Just say, sorry, but no! Believe me, you'll have them there for more than you bargained for. It didn't sound like you enjoyed it the first time round and also the guy already pushed his way there without you confirming it in the first place, USERS!
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    Find out the exact dates hes plans on being there,
    Then say youre sorry but its really inconvientinet.
    Then recomend a local hotel/ motel for him to stay in.


    I would never dresm of asking to stay at my SO s friends place, its just cheap and rude.
  • tzuris
    tzuris Posts: 30
    It is absolutely NOT your social obligation. You have no requirement to allow someone to stay with you. I -never- expect to stay at any of my friends places. I always ask or let them offer, and I'd expect my boyfriend to do the same. Your friend is being inconsiderate of your hospitality, especially since they took advantage last time and were ungrateful.

    I would simply say its not a good time, but offer to give them options to stay at inexpensive hotels, motels or hostels.
  • vesperpt
    vesperpt Posts: 44 Member
    It was so weird...
    I finally caved, and told her that because we had only met him once before, we weren't terribly comfortable having just him stay at our house. At which point Im told he's staying with a family friend so not to worry. I wonder what happened.

    I am usually the kind of person that will do anything to help another out in that kind of circumstance, but it felt a little awkward.
    I think I need more practice saying no.

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