Hi, im Sue and I am Super Obese - i am scared of dieting.

tweetypie212003

Hi Everyone,

My name is Sue and I am from the South West of the UK. I am currently 151 kgs, and have a BMI of 52. I had a go at the Body Fat Calculator and there is now officially more fat on my body than my actual body would weigh without it.

I have Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Asthma, and now Type 2 Diabetes. The Diabetes is the final straw really, its the disease that has made me determined to lose some weight for health reasons. My doctors have given me Orlistat but it has taken several days for me to consider even touching it, and although I started my diet today I still could not take it before my breakfast.

I woke up feeling ok, but the moment I looked at the Orlistat on the shelf ready for me to take, I started to feel Nausea and Dizzy and had to dash to the bathroom. I was not sick at all and after a while the symptoms have started to recede. I know I have always looked upon my body fat as a security blanket that keeps people away from me and also I feel it protects me from others because if I project a mean exterior people will tend to avoid me, and I suppose that has been given me some strange sense of comfort and power. I just never realised that my sub conscious would try to protect me by hijacking my diet and lets face it, I need to lose this weight, I don't have much choice if I want to be around to see my children become adults with their own families etc. I also have a special needs son of 14 that I really must be there for.

What on earth is wrong with me, I have gone on diets before and not had this reaction so why is this happening now? I'm not sure what I should do about this, I am going to arrange some Cognitive therapy with my doctor but if anyone else can think of anything that might be worth a try, please let me know.

In the meantime, Any help or tips for weight loss or keeping my spirits up would be greatly appreciated.

Sue.

trixiemou

Hi Sue,

It is good that you are making a start on this. Why are you frightened of using the Orlistat? I just had a quick look on google and there is plenty of information on there about it. Do you trust your doctor......... Or is it just starting to use and all the positive things it may help bring about that worries you?

It doesn't have to be about dieting, it can be about changing your lifestyle!

You can do it! x

zachatta

Hi Sue my name is Zach.

I have lost 80 lbs. The only thing that I can tell you is you have to be ready to change your life.

There is no temporary diet, and then going back to eating how you did.

You must make the lifestyle change that says you are ready to eat healthy. (Moderation is

what I consider healthy, not "whole foods")

Once you make that decision, track your calories (using this site) and everything becomes 100% easier.

If you don't make that decision, you will always fall back to your old ways.

As far as losing what you have, time and consistency. That is what it takes.

Don't get impatient, just know you are starting a long journey.

Good luck, I hope you achieve your goals.

Smokey19

If you trust your doctor I would take the orlistat. I was always like you. Being obese kept people away from me. But at the age of 44 I had a major wake-up call when I had a heart attack and had to have open heart surgery. I also have asthma, sleep apnea, and diabetes type 2. Please don't be scared of all of this. This site really helps you understand what you eat and why you eat it. Everyone here is so supportive. Please feel free to add me. I lost my weight in a year.

diver71_au

Hi Sue .... you need to just do it. You have already said that you want to be around for your children - use that as your motivator. Everyone on here is supportive BUT it is still YOU that has to decide what you are going to do.

Take it step by step .... literally and figuratively. Start with small adjustments to your diet ... but keep adjusting and don't forget to add some exercise - I started with just some short walks when I first began.

I know that it can be difficult to find the energy for exercise but you need to push yourself until it becomes a habit. Once you reach that point you will feel bad on the days when you don't exercise and your body will begin to reject the bad foods that you used to use as a crutch.

Are you on CPAP ? I was diagnosed with sleep apnea around 4 years ago with an AHI of 67. Last month my sleep doc declared me cured - thanks to around a 40kg weight loss.

thatjulesgirl

I know I have always looked upon my body fat as a security blanket that keeps people away from me and also I feel it protects me from others because if I project a mean exterior people will tend to avoid me, and I suppose that has been given me some strange sense of comfort and power. I just never realised that my sub conscious would try to protect me by hijacking my diet and lets face it, I need to lose this weight,

Sue - firstly: CONGRATS on finally making the decision to see your problem for what it is, choose to change, and seek the help and support to do so. I know that seems like a simple thing, but it's really not, it's probably half the battle in my experience so you're already taking huge leaps forward. Good on you and stick with it.

So much of what you said rings very true for me too, and I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a lot of us overweight / obese people out there who've used the weight as a sort of forcefield to keep people away. I've always said that "the irony of weight is that the bigger you get, the more invisible you become". I also have noticed an alarmingly common connection between a history of trauma / abuse and weight gain. Something to think about, perhaps.

I'm not going to profess to be some guru - I too, have just started my journey and have probably a similar amount to lose as you. So far I've lost 6 kilos, without even really trying that hard, so I'm starting to realise that it can be done. The way I see it is this: it took several years of consistent, dedicated over-eating and NOT exercising to put this weight on, so it's going to take a few years of consistent, dedicated mindful eating and exercising to take it off. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. And if you're anything like me, the fastest way to sabotage yourself is demanding perfection, eg. "Well I've already had two biscuits so today is a write-off, I might as well have a pie" etc. At first, at least, it doesn't matter if you have the occasional slip; if today is 20% better than yesterday, you're improving. Tomorrow might be 20% better again, until eventually the right food choices will come naturally and the exercise will be second nature. Even now, a month in, I'm finding myself more comfortable in my new routine so I don't have to fight to motivate myself as much.

As far as the mental / emotional side of this goes, you're right - you'll probably need help. Having said that, the feelings you've described and the physical reactions you've had I can so relate to: it's those feelings that made me realise that this time was different. It wasn't me trying another diet out of shame or guilt or pressure from other people. It was like a switch had flipped in my head. I realised that I value my life and I value my body so I wanted to make a real change and treat myself right. It wasn't a diet, it was a new way of living and it was no longer negotiable.

I hope some of what I've said helps, Sue. Please feel free to add me. I'm finding the support of MFP invaluable and I think you will too - it's important to know you're not the only one who's struggling, or learning new and weird things about yourself. A book I read years ago actually helped me put it all into perspective a bit, and it's actually pretty funny, so I've added a link in case you're looking for some encouragement. I definitely think you should follow up with your doctor, too... and the therapy sounds like a great idea (I'm getting some and it's making a world of difference).

Lastly: GOOD LUCK!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Guide-Losing-Weight-Getting/dp/1863255168/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1349078922&sr=8-9

nonafit

Hi Sue my name is Zach.

I have lost 80 lbs. The only thing that I can tell you is you have to be ready to change your life.

There is no temporary diet, and then going back to eating how you did.

^^ thissss!!
If you really want it and ready for it...than there's nothing will stop you. Otherwise everything that comes your way will be an excuse to go to your old ways. The 1st couple of weeks (or months) will be really challenging and after that you will get the grip of it. Remember you are moving out of your comfort zone. Some can change cold turkey and some does it at a gentle transition. Plan it and stick with it. Good luck.

Diane_K

Hi Sue
I too have type 2 diabetes and take medication for this as well as colesterol lowering tablets and blood pressure tablets as they go hand in hand. When i first started to lose weight i ballooned to 90kg (am only 154cms tall) due to hormone imbalance and has taken 12mths to get down to 72kgs. I had come to the cross roads of loss of motivation but i have a grandbaby now and that was a real wake up call to give it another go to reach my all time goal.
Your doctor is there to help and support you as is your care planning nurse for your diabetes, take all help and advice on board as they do care and will help you make a difference.
We are all here too so if times seem tough reach out and chat and we will be there to listen and support you in your journey.
This is my first day as a member of this site and i already feel that there are a lot of people out there all with similar stories so chin up and just do your best,
and Remember Arnie Schwarternager words from his movie
YOU CAN DO IT
Di

WaterBunnie

Hi Sue. My BMI was higher than yours when I started and is currently 50.8. If you'd like to add me as a friend I'll be here for quite some time too!

( Except for the next fortnight because we leave for a holiday today)

HappyandToned

Hi Sue!

Hypnotherapy worked wonders for me on more than one occasion.

Feel free to add me if you need support!

Ana

lanie37

Hi Sue, and welcome to your new life. Dont think of this as a diet, thats the path the failure. This is a lifestyle change something you will be doing for the rest of your life. Little steps lead to big achievements. As said earlier start walking, going a little further and quicker each time.
Logging your food on here everyday and being truthful with yourself about what you are eating will help. Its amazing what rubbish we eat without thinking about it. I am/was a comfort eater, when i feel the urge to raid the fridge or cupboard I read success stories on here, the feeling soon passes.
Good luck with your weightloss, if you are worried about the side effects of the tablets just remeber they are only reacting to what you are eating. If you eat lost of fat then yes you will have the nasty side effects of wind and needing the loo, but they are no worse than metaformin used to treat diabetics.
Feel free to add me as a friend.

Ralphrabbit

Start today, with or without meds it does not matter! One day at a time........
I think most over-eaters have a whole bunch of emotional reasons for it and I would recommend counselling to help deal with theses as it was not until I did this did I have the head success that I have now.
In the mean time one day at a time............ you can do this!!

I was 49 and had a BMI of 49.
Now 51 and have a BMI of 37.
If I can do it anyone can!!

takehimaway

Hi Sue.
I'm scared of changing, too, but we can do this.

tonkabella

Hi Sue.... All of the reply's are true.... this you can do... little by little, bit by bit. No quick fixes ... no dropping 10 kilos in a couple of days..... just like a baby learning to walk make this life style change.... go from sitting still to crawling, then walking, then jogging and eventually you will be running... figuratively speaking. The more weight you loose the more confident you will become and your security blanket of fat will no longer be required. Add me if you wish.
Good luck with your journey

NeverGivesUp

One foot in front of the other!! It is a hard, but wonderful and fun journey so there is no need to be scared. Finding great friends for support is key and you will get inspired by them every day. This site is addictive just to warn you!!. You can do this!! Happy weight loss. You will look back someday saying wow look at how far I have come!!

jenilla1

...I woke up feeling ok, but the moment I looked at the Orlistat on the shelf ready for me to take, I started to feel Nausea and Dizzy and had to dash to the bathroom. I was not sick at all and after a while the symptoms have started to recede. I know I have always looked upon my body fat as a security blanket that keeps people away from me and also I feel it protects me from others...

Hi, Sue. It sounds like you had a panic attack. Have you seen a doctor/therapist about an assessment for anxiety? Anxiety/panic could be the biggest obstacle to your progress. This kind of stress is very harmful to your health over time - and may be just as harmful as obesity. Please see if you can get some help for that. Once you get your anxiety under control you should find everything in life becomes easier. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Missanticipated

Hi I've struggled with my weight for quite a while. when I was a bit younger I lost just over 3 stone, I was so much happier and the difference in my health was massive but I gradually put it back on and more over the last 3 years. I've finally reached breaking point again and I no I need to do something about it again now. I've found this website really helpful, it was actually recommended by my doctor and I'm so glad he did. I've tried lots of different diets which worked whilst using them but once I stopped the weight plus more came back on. This in my eyes is the best way to lose weight. It makes you more aware of what you're actually eating. When I first logged in I thought I was eating healthy but when I logged it in I was massively over on calories because my portions had become huge. It's quite an eye opener really. So far I've lost 15lbs in just over a month, it's definitly worked. I've been on orlistat too, it's not pleasant but it does work. I think it worked best in the first month I used it, I have stopped using it now because after the first month the benefits don't really outweigh the side effects but I think it's a good kick start!
I haven't started seeing the benefits of losing weight yet but speaking from past experiences it's soo worth it, I used to suffer with back pain, knee pains, shortness of breath etc etc and they all went when the weight went. All I can say is you need to be ready to do this but once you start you'll be so glad you did it. You are doing this for you! I hope this has given you a good view of what this website can do for you but I can't really help you in getting started, ultimately you need to be the one that does this so you need to be in the right frame of mind. Good luck and I hope this works for you

AliciaStaton

Hi Sue welcome to the begining of your new life. Its all new and it must be scary but it sounds like you are on the right path. Please keep to the advice to what your doctor is doing, no matter how long your weight loss takes, you need to do it. Your right too many of us who are overweight/obese use our weight as a comfort and we dont realise the damage we are doing to us. If you wish to add me please feel free, if not good luck on your journey:bigsmile:

Britbratkins3

Hello Sue! The only advice I can give to you is to not make this a quick fix and ONLY make this a life style change One lifestyle plan that helped save my life from anorexia is from Forks over Knives. It is for anyone. It heals your body and it will cure you from your diseases most likely. Also if you are not into Plant-Based Foods, then maybe just look into cutting down portions Uh, but you should really try looking into Forks Over Knives, Fat SICK &Nearly Dead, Vegucated, and Engine 2 diet. But I realize it is not for everyone. Good Luck!

alumpoflard

Just wanted to stop by and wish you luck. I'm also 44yrs old and it's taken me until now to finally start losing the weight.( I also have a special needs kid and the weight loss so far has made it a lot easier to keep up with him)

Keep using this site, log in every day - even if you have a bad day. Add friends- this really helps! Before you know it you will be a couple of stone down, with a great support network and wondering what you was scared off...

You can do it :flowerforyou:

aredrose017

Hi Sue, it can all seem so overwhelming at first! That may be why you are afraid of dieting. To be honest though, I wouldn't even diet. It's more about a healthy lifestyle. I have gone on so many diets for the past four years, constantly losing weight and gaining it back and then some; I just got tired of diets and decided I need to change my mindset. I'm now developing a healthier lifestyle and you can do it too! Sometimes it helps to think why you're eating also. I'm an emotional/boredom eater, so I've been drinking water instead when I am stressed, or even having something healthy to snack on. If you just stick to it, and don't give up; you will achieve your goals! Just take it bit by bit, and gradually, you will get to where you want to be. Also, keeping track of what food you consume really can help. Diets can be scary, so you're not alone, but if you look at it as more of a change of life than a diet, I think you will be just fine. I wish you the best of luck