Vacation drop out...am I wrong?
This is totally off the diet subject but has been eating at me for a week. I would post this on facebook, but that would stir up a lot of crap!
Here's my story. Back in January I decided I wanted to take a "girls" vacation to Cancun. My and 4 of my friends decided to book a vacation. Everyone agreed we wouldn't spend more than $1000 per person for a week long all inclusive. We've been making our payments since April and our final payment is due on October 10th. Last week while I was reminding everyone to make their final payments, one of the girls decides she isn't going to go now. The only thing she has paid was her $200 deposit.
Because of this, the rest of us had a price increase of $130 each. We all felt that because she dropped out of the vacation with less than 2 weeks to pay, that she should be responsible for that extra charge. After all, EVERYONE was asked if they were absolutely positive about going BEFORE we booked. She of course went all off the handle saying mean things and doesn't think we are being fair. ARE WE??
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
I'm just so confused as to what I should do in this situation. HELP!
Here's my story. Back in January I decided I wanted to take a "girls" vacation to Cancun. My and 4 of my friends decided to book a vacation. Everyone agreed we wouldn't spend more than $1000 per person for a week long all inclusive. We've been making our payments since April and our final payment is due on October 10th. Last week while I was reminding everyone to make their final payments, one of the girls decides she isn't going to go now. The only thing she has paid was her $200 deposit.
Because of this, the rest of us had a price increase of $130 each. We all felt that because she dropped out of the vacation with less than 2 weeks to pay, that she should be responsible for that extra charge. After all, EVERYONE was asked if they were absolutely positive about going BEFORE we booked. She of course went all off the handle saying mean things and doesn't think we are being fair. ARE WE??
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
I'm just so confused as to what I should do in this situation. HELP!
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Replies
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This is totally off the diet subject but has been eating at me for a week. I would post this on facebook, but that would stir up a lot of crap!
Here's my story. Back in January I decided I wanted to take a "girls" vacation to Cancun. My and 4 of my friends decided to book a vacation. Everyone agreed we wouldn't spend more than $1000 per person for a week long all inclusive. We've been making our payments since April and our final payment is due on October 10th. Last week while I was reminding everyone to make their final payments, one of the girls decides she isn't going to go now. The only thing she has paid was her $200 deposit.
Because of this, the rest of us had a price increase of $130 each. We all felt that because she dropped out of the vacation with less than 2 weeks to pay, that she should be responsible for that extra charge. After all, EVERYONE was asked if they were absolutely positive about going BEFORE we booked. She of course went all off the handle saying mean things and doesn't think we are being fair. ARE WE??
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
I'm just so confused as to what I should do in this situation. HELP!
If I pay the balance, can I "bunk" with you gals?0 -
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
2 - This is a issue that arises with group trips. I would fork over the $130 additional and I wouldn't be seeking another trip with her. Unless she has a very good excuse (IE: I'm in the hospital, my mother is in the hospital etc), then I wouldn't plan another trip with her.0 -
I feel she should pay, yes.0
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She owes you all that money.
I also agree with this since you can't really force her:2 - This is a issue that arises with group trips. I would fork over the $130 additional and I wouldn't be seeking another trip with her. Unless she has a very good excuse (IE: I'm in the hospital, my mother is in the hospital etc), then I wouldn't plan another trip with her.0 -
I went through this 3 years ago. With a family member. It was a trip to Puerto Vallarta and she backed out. Cost me $1200. I paid it and put it behind me. My relationship with this person is more important than $1200.0
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I think it's completely fair. I had a friend drop out of my birthday trip at the last minute and she knew by doing so it bumped up all the rest of our hotel costs and she paid her share anyway. It was the right thing to do.0
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Group trips are really problematic on so many levels. I stopped travelling with the girls, for this very reason. I make my own plans, and if anyone wants to come along, they make their own plans.
The friend surely knows that this is going to affect the friendships with all of you. But have fun in Cancun! Don't spend time on vacation mulling this over and talking about her. That will take some of the fun out. Send her a postcard
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yes, she should cover the extra cost0
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Well... I've been bitten in the *kitten* too many times myself with people not paying and me putting things on my credit card... From now on... even if it costs a few bucks more... If I'm going with a group I ALWAYS go through a travel agent. (helps that I'm related to one)... Everyone pays for their own installments on their own credit cards, and if they decided last minute not to go... sucks to be them... they are just out what they have already put down, and then no one else has to pay the difference.
I think it is completely reasonable to expect her to pay the difference... After all, if she hadn't backed out last minute you guys wouldn't be in this situation... Good luck getting that money though... Just for future referance though... NEVER put anyone else's payment on your credit card unless you KNOW that they will pay you back on time no matter what... Sorry about your situation... but hope you still have a great time!0 -
How important is your relationship to you? Is it worth 130$?
It sucks, but it happens- move on or disown her, pretty much your only options.
I would be pissed, like way pissed but I can guarantee she more than likely will not think she is responsible for this extra money and it will cause big time animosity.0 -
Well I think she should pay... if it was me I would have whether I went or not. But if she is a good friend you have to decide if you want to possibly lose her over this!
Next time make it known that if someone backs out they pay!!0 -
She should pay, but she won't. Don't ruin your trip. Pay it, have fun, and remember not to make any more plans with her.0
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She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
2 - This is a issue that arises with group trips. I would fork over the $130 additional and I wouldn't be seeking another trip with her. Unless she has a very good excuse (IE: I'm in the hospital, my mother is in the hospital etc), then I wouldn't plan another trip with her.
shes right, ^^0 -
whether you think it's fair or not and whether you think she should pay it or not......
doesn't really matter....
you wanna go? you pay the difference....
and there's VERY little you can do to force her to pay you the difference....short of a bat and her knees...
so I would suck it up, move on, pay the difference and NEVER invite her again...
simple.0 -
. Send her a postcard
LOVE THIS0 -
$130 each? so like another $390 for her? Plus the deposit she lost? She might as well go..... she may have dropped out because something came up and now she really can't afford it, which might be why she's freaking out about that extra money. Personally if I were her I'd feel obligated to pay it so that my friends didn't have to pick it up (it's not your guys' fault she bailed after all) but I'm not sure I'd end the friendship over it, just don't make big plans with her anymore..... and maybe see if there's something going on with her that you can be supportive of? Hopefully she's OK........0
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Even if you feel as if she should pay, how are you going to force her to since she only paid the $200.00 deposit anyway? I agree that you should just pay the extra charge and enjoy your vacation.0
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That was a b.itch move, but i dont really think she should pay if she is not going, is not really fair, is not like she is taking the $200 she already paid back right?
Anyway what she did was pretty mean, but being forced to pay so much for a vacation she is not even going to take?? come on girl.0 -
My mother backed out on a trip to Ireland I was paying for - stuck me with flights from the U.S., etc. It cost me thousands to pay fees, rebook dates etc. I think I spend $7K more than I had intended when all was said and done. But that's my mom and I had to let it go....
Don't try to make her pay - that way lies bitterness and regret. Just don't ask her to go on another trip.0 -
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
I totally agree with this. You don't know what her situation is or how much expendable income she has. I had a lot less available to me when I was single than I do now that I am married because there are at least two incomes and savings that I have access to. For all you know, she may be loading all of her available income into paying off debt, or saving for her own place, or she may be blowing it on partying because she doesn't feel like she has to save it. When I was single, I didn't have savings and was lucky to make it to payday without overdrawing each and every time.
Now, it is totally not cool of her to make the commitment and back out (all future invites revoked), but perhaps she thought she would be able to save up the money to go? If she doesn't have the money to go, she probably doesn't have the money to take care of the difference.0 -
pay the difference, send her a post card and D list her.0
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In retrospect: Contract.
Only way to CYA in cases like this.0 -
I would hope that she would offer something.. but the odds of her paying for everyone aren't very good. Like someone else mentioned, mayber there is something going on and she couldn't afford it, or there is something going on that she doesn't want to share with anyone. I would just cover my extra charges and move on.. and would not invite her along on another trip like that again. Unless she would try to explain it all to you later and make up for it somehow. It sucks, but try not to let it ruin your vacation.0
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No. That's what a deposit is for. She loses her $200 and doesn't get to go on the trip in exchange for not paying the difference.
Now whether you want to continue to be her friend, or whatever, is a totally different story.0 -
That is what happens when you go away with other people.. they can let you down, that is life.
If you dont want to fall out with her, let it go. or try to meet up with her. have a level head discussion about it.
If she flew off the handle calling names and the likes she may be stressed about something you dont know about.0 -
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
I totally agree with this. You don't know what her situation is or how much expendable income she has. I had a lot less available to me when I was single than I do now that I am married because there are at least two incomes and savings that I have access to. For all you know, she may be loading all of her available income into paying off debt, or saving for her own place, or she may be blowing it on partying because she doesn't feel like she has to save it. When I was single, I didn't have savings and was lucky to make it to payday without overdrawing each and every time.
Now, it is totally not cool of her to make the commitment and back out (all future invites revoked), but perhaps she thought she would be able to save up the money to go? If she doesn't have the money to go, she probably doesn't have the money to take care of the difference.
I'm pretty close with her and know she doesn't have many bills. She has a drinking problem for sure. But she did tell us that she definitely has the money saved because she was going to go but has changed her mind.
Oh and she definitely won't be going on any more trips0 -
She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
I totally agree with this. You don't know what her situation is or how much expendable income she has. I had a lot less available to me when I was single than I do now that I am married because there are at least two incomes and savings that I have access to. For all you know, she may be loading all of her available income into paying off debt, or saving for her own place, or she may be blowing it on partying because she doesn't feel like she has to save it. When I was single, I didn't have savings and was lucky to make it to payday without overdrawing each and every time.
Now, it is totally not cool of her to make the commitment and back out (all future invites revoked), but perhaps she thought she would be able to save up the money to go? If she doesn't have the money to go, she probably doesn't have the money to take care of the difference.
I'm pretty close with her and know she doesn't have many bills. She has a drinking problem for sure. But she did tell us that she definitely has the money saved because she was going to go but has changed her mind.
Oh and she definitely won't be going on any more trips
If that is the case and she had the money all saved up but just decided not to go, I would ask her to pay the difference but not expect it because she sounds pretty flaky to back out on a trip she had money already saved up for 2 weeks before the trip.0 -
As for saying she has it easy becuase she lives at home and has no children is not a fair assessment. Why do some people think because you are single with no kids that you have no other responsibilities. I lived at home until I was 30, not becuase I was fond of the idea but because I didn't have the money to move out on my own. (and I was working two jobs to get by). You never totally know someones situation so do not judge them.
Should she pay.... Yes Can you make her......No I would just pay the difference and never invite her again unless you have her money up front.0 -
I'm pretty close with her and know she doesn't have many bills. She has a drinking problem for sure. But she did tell us that she definitely has the money saved because she was going to go but has changed her mind.
Oh and she definitely won't be going on any more trips
Well.. you may have dodged a bullet then.. I'd rather fork over an additional $130 than spend a week or so with someone with a drinking problem. That gets really old.. really fast! Still, it sucks that she stuck you guys like this.0 -
Sounds like you should have been on top of her payments long ago, seeing as she ONLY paid the deposit and nothing more.
Sounds like a sit down conversation is in order, with her-not with strangers on the internet.0
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