Need ideas and help

B4its2L8

I am restarting my weightloss journey AGAIN for the 100th time. I know it needs to be a lifestyle change but I am having a very hard time making the commitment. My family is not real supportive, they want me to be happy and make the change but they don't want to have to make the change with me. I have tried fixing 2 separate meals and that gets old real quick! Who has time to fix 1 meal let alone 2! I have tried eating what they eat only less, scale doesn't budge. Early last year I started eating low cal low fat and was losing (fixing 2 meals though) but I had gas and was constipated so bad that I couldn't hardly function. I was eating around 30 grams of fiber a day, I tried eating more and I tried eating less nothing helped. I have done low carb before and I don't have those problems. So, I am trying to balance doing low carb and lower fat in order to be healthy. I guess what I need to know is how do I find that right balance to stay on track? I have zero willpower and when my family is eating the good stuff I can't resist.

SHBoss1673

first, welcome, and good luck to you!

Couple things that may help you (these are all opinions and tips so take them for what their worth)

- Be tough with the family, if you're the one who makes the meals, let them know you're starting to make healthier meals, don't mention a diet, just tell them that's how it's gonna be. If they don't like it, (for the adults) they can make their own. Be kind but firm.
-Don't eat low fat or low calorie, eat healthy, low fat and low calorie foods generally make up for that in preservatives. Eat natural, eat healthy, and use portion control to control your calorie amount. Most of the US, Canada, and Western Europe over eat, figure out true serving sizes and you will be much better off.
-Veggies are huge, make sure you get 6 to 8 servings of veggies a day. Your fiber will follow suite if you do this.
-and the biggest thing I can say is, don't expect miracles, give it time, don't push yourself too hard, it takes time to lose weight properly.

best of luck to you!

-Banks

B4its2L8

Thanks. My problem is I know what I need to do to lose it, I just can't get my mind around doing it. I was eating the right amount of fiber but it wasn't helping me at all. I was miserable! And I am the type that when I have gas it just stays put and bloats and hurts me to the point that I can't function. So, what do you do for that? Yeah, I had lost weight but I was miserable doing it that I couldn't really enjoy it. So, is it better to limit my carbs and eat more protein (and no I am not talking about just sitting down to big slabs of fatty meat) or to try to go back to the low cal and see if I can adjust my diet? There are advantages to both ways. In a way I feel like I could eat more what my family eats when I am on low carb but then again you kinda miss out on some of the "extras" when you can't eat carbs. UGH!!! I always feel like I am in a battle with myself.

ourgang

I have struggled with my family and the choices we make around our meals. My daughters have grown to accept the healther choices, i.e. brown rice, wheat pasta, packing lunch with at least one fruit and veggies, wheat breads, almond butter, etc.... My husband on the other hand has not. He has def gotten better over the months but there are still just some things he won't eat, like wheat pasta.

In general we will make the main meal low cal, low fat, and veggie filled... Then if I need to make 2 different pastas we do.
I have found that everyone, even hubby, do like the meals better and can't tell the difference. I will also sometimes slip the meal with half healthy half traditional. This helps me to justify what I am eating and makes him happy.

bottom line for everyone in the house, when I cook dinner, you eat it or cereal!!!! Sometimes hubby has cereal or make his own dinner:bigsmile: It does help that hubby is a chef, so he is use to making multiple meals at one time. I just make him clean up his own dinner messes.:bigsmile:

moujie

start with small changes and goals that you know you can accomplish. sometimes you can't jump into the deep end of the pool right away...you gotta get wet a little bit at a time. Are there things you can give up (like sodas, late night snacking) that wouldn't really be too hard and will make a difference in your weight loss? Likewise are there some little things you can do (walking at lunchtime, etc.)? I find that if I make changes in smaller steps then I get used to doing things differently but it doesn't feel like I've had to really change that much.

Also, try the recipe forum to find a few new ideas and try them out on your family. no one wants to eat healthy if it means boring, bland and tasteless...so if you can find some healthy alternatives that you like and the family likes then you don't have to make 2 meals (to which I would say eat what I made or go hungry).

SHBoss1673

Thanks. My problem is I know what I need to do to lose it, I just can't get my mind around doing it. I was eating the right amount of fiber but it wasn't helping me at all. I was miserable! And I am the type that when I have gas it just stays put and bloats and hurts me to the point that I can't function. So, what do you do for that? Yeah, I had lost weight but I was miserable doing it that I couldn't really enjoy it. So, is it better to limit my carbs and eat more protein (and no I am not talking about just sitting down to big slabs of fatty meat) or to try to go back to the low cal and see if I can adjust my diet? There are advantages to both ways. In a way I feel like I could eat more what my family eats when I am on low carb but then again you kinda miss out on some of the "extras" when you can't eat carbs. UGH!!! I always feel like I am in a battle with myself.

depends on what you call low carb. Veggies have carbs, so I usually don't see the need for it. Veggies also have lots of fiber, but the fiber in most veggies take a while to digest, so you usually don't bloat from it. High fiber stuff like germ and other processed (ground up) things can give you gas because of the speed at which it passes through the system. I know that when I was still trying to lose weight, I didn't alter WHAT I ate at all after my initial nutrition change, I only changed portion size. Portion size is king when it comes to calories, with portion control you can eat exactly what you want (within reason) and still achieve the calorie deficit that will give you weight loss.

B4its2L8

I have been looking at new recipes. I don't drink soda and I stop eating 3 hours before bedtime. I do need to get moving that is for sure. Thanks to everyone for all of their suggestions!

B4its2L8

I am going to give it a try again and see if I can adjust my diet so I am not miserable. All else fails, I will go back to low carb. Now I need a good kick in the butt to get started! I have read a lot of your posts from before so I am going to go back and reread them, maybe that will give me some motivation.

Christie422

I'm going to echo what the others said about family meals, if you're the one doing the cooking then they eat what's put in front of them. For the most part that is how it is around here, however my husband and I are doing this together so that makes it much easier. As for the kids, if I make a healthy meal they are expected to eat it, but some things I know they just won't eat (like the lentil chili we're having tonight) so they are having left over BBQ beef sandwiches from yesterday. I find its very helpful to spend a day cooking several healthy options and portioning them out and freezing it. That eliminates the need to cook two separate dinners, I can cook something for the kids and its just a matter of reheating whatever I am going to eat.

Miss_Chievous_wechange

I know how you feel about not having family support. That is why this site is great for support and to make friends who understand and have the same goals. Since I'm the cook, my family eats what I make. I try to make healthy meals that they will enjoy, but that is not always the case. The majority of the time they eat it without complaint because they know I am serious about eating healthy and getting fit. I will not let them hinder my progress. Luckily, I found this site and hope to make lots of great friends so that we can be supportive and encouraging to each other.

Also, if you are the one who grocery shops, stop buying junk food. If you don't buy it, it won't be in the house for you to cave and eat. The only way to lose weight and get fit is to exercise, eat healthy and control portion size. Let's do it together.

Kandiii

When you're used to eating what you want when you want everything becomes missing out when you want something and you're on a diet that says you can't have it. You have to basically get to the point when you look at your naked self in the mirror and say either "Suck it up buttercup" or "Quit making excuses". There's always a reason not to eat healthy. If you don't like making 2 meals a day for dinner, then one day a week make something super healthy for everyone but make enough to give you something to eat for the week as well. For me, I have a toaster convection oven (I am single so don't have to worry about others but this is simple), they are like 40-60 at the store. I chop up a potato, I go to Sam's/Costco get large bags of pre-trimmed chichen breast, I throw it all in the convection for about 20-25 minutes with a little homemade seasoning (or Durkee's Italian if I can find it lol) cook it all nice and crispy and eat. No oils, no fatty extra's. I used to do the same thing in the oven. Takes 20-25 there too. Only in the oven I used a pat of butter. While bad for you, it's not going to ruin your whole diet. And it's all in 1 pan.

Basically someone told me once (about smoking), "You have to want to quit, otherwise it won't work for you". It's the same thing about food and eating. You have to really just hit the point where you can't take anymore. When you do, you'll leave all reasoning at the refrigerator door.

I hope that gives you some motivation, something to think about and an idea of how easy it really can be to eat healthy.

Thanks. My problem is I know what I need to do to lose it, I just can't get my mind around doing it. I was eating the right amount of fiber but it wasn't helping me at all. I was miserable! And I am the type that when I have gas it just stays put and bloats and hurts me to the point that I can't function. So, what do you do for that? Yeah, I had lost weight but I was miserable doing it that I couldn't really enjoy it. So, is it better to limit my carbs and eat more protein (and no I am not talking about just sitting down to big slabs of fatty meat) or to try to go back to the low cal and see if I can adjust my diet? There are advantages to both ways. In a way I feel like I could eat more what my family eats when I am on low carb but then again you kinda miss out on some of the "extras" when you can't eat carbs. UGH!!! I always feel like I am in a battle with myself.

vsummers

Hey, ? for shboss1673!!!! I thought protein is good. I keep going over my Protein with my plan meals at the beginning of the day, and needing to revamp it to stay with my protein at what ever it is my goals on here say. I think it is 45. Is it a really big deal to go over on that?????

Christie422, I want to come shopping at your house for you portion's in the freezer. I'll pay, you can be like my jenny Crieg store, What do you say??? Deal!!!???? (she is my sister-in-law hehehehe)

lessertess

I know it needs to be a lifestyle change but I am having a very hard time making the commitment..... I guess what I need to know is how do I find that right balance to stay on track? I have zero willpower and when my family is eating the good stuff I can't resist.

I'm going to try a little tough love here. As I read through this it seems that your recognize the need for change but I don't think you've really embraced it. The first step in this journey is committment. You've got to think "I can, I will, I am committed" Instead you're saying "I'm having a hard time committing" and "I have zero willpower" and "I can't resist" .

I do recognize that this is tough. I, personally, am having to go through this step all over again, after having a few months where I found myself becoming unmotivated. I am beginning to embrace the fact that you have to "re-commit" every now and then.

1st step : begin to understand what is driving you and truely understand your eating habits. Don't change anything for the next week or two except journaling your food and drink and exercise. Be brutally honest. Then review it so that you can understand where you can make easy changes and where you will eventually have to make some tough changes. It's hard to make changes if you don't understand what needs to change.

2nd Step: write it down---I WILL ---and then list out the things you are going to do and post it on the refrigerator and on your bathroom mirror (or wherever else you're likely to look at it throughout the day---I keep one on my bulletin board at work. Write it all in present tense "I will, I can, I am". Set some mini goals and your long term goal and write them as if you've already succeeded.

Next: Make small changes weekly. Week one might be to drink water and eat more veggies. Week two might be to switch to whole grains rather than white bread/pasta/rice. And begin reducing your calories a little bit at a time.

Example: Let's say that you find out that you've been averaging about 2500 calories a day but your new goal is to eat 1400 calories a day. Cut down a little bit at a time. For the first week cut 200 calories a day. Next week add another 100 or 200 calories until you've gotten down to your goal. That way it won't be such a shock, you can make little changes as you go.

Also, this will give you time to begin transitioning your family. They are going to have bigger issues if you suddenly go from cooking chicken fried steak, hash browns and gravy to a grilled chicken breast and salad. But if you make the changes slowly, they might not even notice a lot of the changes. If you're the cook in the family, the internet has a wealth of really tasty/healthy/ low cal meals. I have a subscription to Cooking Light and most of that stuff would never even be mistaken for "diet" food.

Also, I agree with the other posts....if you're the primary chef, the family can eat what you cook or have cereal. My mother would laugh herself silly at the thought of cooking seperate meals. And, Banks is absolutely right.....you don't really have to make major changes to your eating style other than practice portion control.

Good luck

SHBoss1673

Hey, ? for shboss1673!!!! I thought protein is good. I keep going over my Protein with my plan meals at the beginning of the day, and needing to revamp it to stay with my protein at what ever it is my goals on here say. I think it is 45. Is it a really big deal to go over on that?????

Christie422, I want to come shopping at your house for you portion's in the freezer. I'll pay, you can be like my jenny Crieg store, What do you say??? Deal!!!???? (she is my sister-in-law hehehehe)

protein IS good. Do you follow the basic MFP settings? If you do then the protein is on the absolute low end, I always raise it up to at least 20% (I think MFP sets it at 16%), I myself am at 27% protein, but I do about 4 to 5 days a week of anaerobic workouts (weight training, HIIT, High Intensity Plyometrics) so I like to have some extra protein to repair the muscles. But just adding extra protein to your diet doesn't really do anything great for you, protein is a macro nutrient, just like carbs and fats, if you eat too much protein, the body will store it as body fat, just like if you eat too many carbs or fats.

B4its2L8

Thanks everyone for all of your suggestions. I am going to start making the changes needed to get started.