Is it so much to ask

Options
AmyFett
AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
in Motivation and Support
that my husband supports me instead of constantly mocks and ridicules me for my changed habits? I can't freaking stand it anymore. I get no support from him at all. Even the doctors have told him to watch what he eats and lose weight. He's not even 30 yet and is just not in good shape at all. I was hoping that by my changes, he might become better too, if not for himself or me, but for his kids. I reached my breaking point today and he mocked me because I refused to eat box mac and cheese I made for the kids for lunch. Because I don't want to eat this, "everything" is bad for me... Really sucks getting no support or help from anyone.
«13

Replies

  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    Options
    I know where you are coming from. My ex husband did the same thing to me. I tried so hard to get healthy but it is terrible trying to eat a salad when you look over and your significant other is stuffing them self with a whole pizza.

    If you cook the food in the house, I told my ex that I was only cooking healthy meals and if he doesn't want to eat what I was cooking, then he can go find something else to eat. Have your kids eat what you eat....make it a healthy lifestyle change for all of you. You can do that to your kids, but you can't make him change.

    I support you! You have to do this for yourself!
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    My girls are still really little, but they don't always eat junk. They eat a lot of fruit and don't so much like sweets. My situation has just sucked for a long time. I don't know what the hell else to do anymore.
  • justlistening
    justlistening Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    I am sorry your husband is not supporting you. It is ashamed that when you try to do something good for yourself that it somehow intimidates him or makes him feel inferior so that he has to mock you. I agree with the above poster. Make it a lifestyle change for the whole family and if he does not want to eat what you cook then too bad. Your kids need to learn about what is healthy and eating in moderation too.

    Friend me. I'll support you.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    I already told him I'm not cooking for him anymore and he can keep blowing money on junk food instead of paying bills like we should. I don't really care what he does anymore so long as he pays rent.
  • stephanie1133
    stephanie1133 Posts: 211
    Options
    If your husband mocks and ridicules you, there are bigger problems going on than just him being unsupportive of you diet! I think a sit down, serious talk, is in order.
  • SarahAFerguson
    SarahAFerguson Posts: 250 Member
    Options
    No wonder you are upset. I would be for sure. I don't really have any constructive advice, but I'm sending you a BIG HUG! I hope you have some friends or other family that can be supportive.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    I already told him I'm not cooking for him anymore and he can keep blowing money on junk food instead of paying bills like we should. I don't really care what he does anymore so long as he pays rent.

    You sound unhappy. Make yourself happy. Don't subject yourself to a jerk everyday.
  • awolf2011
    awolf2011 Posts: 265 Member
    Options
    I agree with what Stephanie1133 said about the fact that maybe there is another underlying issue within your relationship and this is the way that he can "get one it" to make you feel bad. You can only do what is right for you and your children since they are young yet. You cannot make your husband lose weight and get healthy. You are setting a good example for your kids and that is awesome. I am glad that you stood up to him and said that you were not going to make a separate meal for him, he is a big boy and can cook for himself then. It is so hard to say that I know where you are coming from because my husband is one of my biggest supporters. He always makes sure that I have at least 20 min a day to devote to myself for workouts or just to relax. He also understands that I want to get healthy and so when I buy new foods to try that are better for our family, he tries them too and doesn't piss and moan. So, again, sorry that you have to put up with his BS. I hope that you can figure something out with your relationship. We are here to listen and give you the support that you need!!
  • ericalyn73
    ericalyn73 Posts: 79
    Options
    Leave him and find someone who will support you.
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
    Options
    Girl, like I said... You get hot and sexy then dump his *kitten*. If he isn't going to support you on this he's not supporting you in life. I went thru one marriage like this (luckily no kids) and he ended up cheating on me with 2 of my friends... I got hot after the divorce and he started stalking me, was the best revenge of my life!

    Now I am married to a man who treats me very well, is very supportive, and is even obeying my "no treats in the house" rule. If we want a treat we walk to go get it.
  • juliec33
    juliec33 Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    If your husband mocks and ridicules you, there are bigger problems going on than just him being unsupportive of you diet! I think a sit down, serious talk, is in order.

    I agree with this. You guys have bigger issues than just what to eat at mealtime. I've been through a verbally abusive marriage and after considerable thought I decided that in order for me to be happy I had to make a tough choice and file for divorce. To every one who says "just leave him", really, you think that is supportive? It's not that easy, especially since children are involved.

    Sending you a big hug :flowerforyou: . Please talk to your husband about this and if he is still resistant suggest that you go to counseling. If he won't go, go by yourself!!! You deserve to be happy, whatever that entails!
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    Options
    Man, what ever happen to the sanctity of marriage? Perhaps a counselor could assist the two of you.
  • howens1027
    howens1027 Posts: 15
    Options
    He should support you, for better or for worse. I am sorry you are encountering such a situation.
  • Slove009
    Slove009 Posts: 364 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry about him being so unsupportive. Support from people we are close to, especially our spouse, is very important and can have huge impacts on our success.

    Just know you have a whole community here to support you even if he doesn't! :flowerforyou:
  • joshsmama05
    joshsmama05 Posts: 12
    Options
    I read an article on this very thing the other day. It was talking about how if you're in a relationship and one person changes their habits the other person can (not always, but often) become so insecure that they try to belittle the person who is making the changes. I know my son's dad (we don't live together) gets very jealous and upset with my changes and the amount I go to the gym. I told him just to deal with it. I fix healthy foods for dinner and if he wants to come over he can eat it....or not. No skin off my nose! The other night he brought pizza over for him and the kiddo so I had my dinner before he came over. Oooooh was he mad. You just have to do what is good for you. You go and fix your healthy meals for you and the kids and if he doesn't want to eat it, fine. He can fix his own meal. He needs to support you, he made a vow to do so and he's not holding up his end of the deal. We're all here to support you!!!!! Hang in there! Hopefully he'll start to understand that this is for the health of you AND your family and maybe he'll get on board.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    Options
    My hubby had no choice but to go along with my style of eating because he doesn't like to do the groceries and he can't cook anything but Ramen so he has lost as much weight as I have without ever trying. :laugh:

    If your husband isn't supporting you the way you need him to then turn to a friend or counselor for support. He'll likely be jealous of the time you spend getting support elsewhere and fall into line.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Options
    Sounds like your husband is a real keeper. :-/

    If you want to friend me I will be glad to support you in your efforts. Might want to see a therapist, too, on your own, so you can think through things and decide what changes need to be made so you and your kids can be happy and healthy.
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
    Options
    wow, that sounds terrible. I am sorry you have to deal with such craptastic behavior. He probably is acting like that because he KNOWS he should be joining you in your health habots...but doesn't want to. You just keep doing your thing and maybe he will come around??? If not, you and him are going to have to have a serious talk. This is important for your marriage and you guys need to be positive role models for your children.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
    Options
    Ask yourself if this is really the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    Would serve him right if you get thin and hot and dump his sorry butt for a guy who appreciates you. Sorry but that's the way I feel.

Categories