Feeling Frustrated

helaurin

So I started on my weight-loss adventure on August 1st. It's been just a bit over 60 days, I've lost about 15 pounds. That part, I'm okay with.

But - I'm frustrated. This week, I feel like I haven't been losing weight. My mom's doing poorly - hospice almost let her bleed to death on Sunday - and I'm pretty far away from her. I'll be going to see her next week and staying for six days; she's in Tennessee, land of highly-fattening biscuits and baby back ribs - both of which I love to eat (and they love to stay in my body in the form of pounds of fat). And for myself, I've been having significant issues with my knees and feet - saw specialists for each this week. Both want me to start physical therapy. The one doctor said that I should NOT even be walking as an exercise - it's too high impact for my body with the joint problems I am having. He suggested that I should swim - but I don't have a pool and a gym membership is not something I can afford right now. And I like to walk, even though it's often painful; it's good for both me and my dogs. Which people have noticed that my dog who I walk with the most has lost weight... not so much me. (I've only lost about 15 pounds so far). And it's been insane at work.

I'm starting to have the cravings for COMFORT FOOD. In large quantities. You know, Macaroni and Cheese, Ribs, Biscuits, Grilled Cheese sandwich with bacon, Chips Ahoy with large glass of milk, bacon, eggs, pancakes, cheese-its, prime rib (16-18 ounces at a shot), unlimited crablegs and shrimp (aka Chinese buffet), spaghetti with alfredo sauce, french onion soup, etc. The problem is that I'm still often feeling hungry. I've been mostly successful at keeping to a 1,200 to 1,300 calorie intake per day; my average for the first 58 days has been 1,257 calories per day, which is supposed to be enough for me - but I'm often still hungry. I want to lose weight, but I do miss the foods I can't have anymore, like grilled cheese sandwich, mac and cheese, tall glasses of milk, etc., because they are just too many calories in a 1,200 calorie plan.

Which if I cave in to those cravings, I can easily gain back within a week all the weight it took me two months to lose, which is not the direction I want. But my frustration and cravings are haunting me. I hate going to bed hungry, so then I tend to hold off eating until a bit later in the evening so that I don't wake up in the middle of the night hungry (which I've been good - I've gotten up in the middle of the night feeling hungry and got water instead, I haven't eaten in those midnight urges) - but if I try to eat earlier, then I wake up in the wee hours, like 3 am 4 am and feel like I can eat an entire slab of bacon as an appetizer (I don't actually do it, I just feel like I could!)

Looking for ideas to help stave off the cravings and the frustration!

helaurin

well, it's eleven hours after I posted this - and not a single person has offered any support, advice or suggestions. Guess people figure I'm just worthless and beyond help her.

Thanks for nothing.

zachatta

Your second response is pointless, your weight loss isn't everyone elses's responsibility.

I cannot fathom someone at 180ish lbs being unable to walk, male or female for exercise, due to joint problems.

My Grandmother can barely move, and she walks all the time.



You go on for paragraphs explaining good tasting foods, and it simply sounds to me like you

aren't ready to give up the old lifestyle and that is your problem. You will never beat this

condition if you don't give up your old lifestyle.


Caffeine can help suppress appetite. Eating your meals when your cravings get bad can as well.

Taking a nap through hunger is you absolutely must can help.

I don't understand why you are eating at 1200 calories being at 180 lbsish. That seems to low to me.

Restructure your diet for more filling foods and find a system you can stick with.


And no, i was 80 lbs overweight myself, check my photos, so I am talking from actual experience.

To note, not trying to be mean, but the ONLY person who can help you lose weight is YOU.

If YOU don't want to do it, you won't.

I am also sorry for your family situation, keep in mind though that doesn't excuse your behavior.

Mrsdaffy2

Hi there, I'm so sorry you didn't get a response earlier :flowerforyou: I only saw your Blog now, but then I'm on the other side of the world (Ireland :happy: )

Firstly, NEVER think of yourself as worthless in anybody's eyes!!!!! What people think of you DOES NOT MATTER. Only your own opinion matters. What would your Mom say to you if she heard you speaking like that? :noway:

I know how frustrating this whole Healthy eating gets, especially went you're doing things right & the results are non existent or slow!!! It's like, Ok, I'm doing the right thing but where are the REWARDS?

I don't know your Menu So I don't know the kinds of foods you're having now. But for Breakfast I have Oats / boiled egg & sometimes wholemeal toast x2 if I'm feeling hungry Lunch is usually a tin of healthy options soup or a homemade Butterenut Squash soup, both filling, then Dinner could be a range of Homemade things from spagetti Bolganese, curries, Mash veg & meat, omelette, Various Stews, ( not all at once Lol) anyway , low cal but filling then of courses there the fruits for snacks & I DO have naughty stuff BUT I don't have the joint problems your suffering So I get to work it off ( I do have feet problems but have just gotten Orthotics to hopefully sort that out :bigsmile: )

As for your exercise, can you go biking? Could that be an option for you?

I hope you get to read this :flowerforyou:

Don't ever think yourself worthless again, I don't want to have to travel all that way over there to kick your Butt!!!! :bigsmile:

Mags

azerty9

Hello

This is my first post, so please be nice ^^
I would like to say first congratulation on losing 15pounds in 2 months! That's great!
Now, one thing I would recommend is that you start seeing your weight-loss journey not as a diet but as a long term lifestyle change.
You should eat healthy things that are tasty and that you could see yourself eating everyday even after you have reached your goal weight. If you restrict too much your calories because you want to lose weight fast, it will only work in the short run, but the cravings will become too much as eventually you will give in, then feel bad, eat more, gain all the weight back, feel more depressed, eat more etc.
I would definitely up your calories to at least 1450, aim for a 1 and 1/2 pound loss per week on MFP settings instead of 2 pounds. The fact that you are hungry shows that you are not eating enough, if your body is on starvation mode, once you start to eat 'normal' again the weight will pile back on. It is better to lose slowly and steadily trust me.
Also you should be able to indulge (not too often but maybe once a week) in what you call 'comfort food' as long as you try to limit the quantities. French onion soup, spaghetti, pancakes etc are can fit in a 1450calories plan when the quantities are limited. Like I said before, this is a lifetime change so you should not ban your favorite food. You can have it in moderate quantities once in a while.

Hope this helps,
Laura

helaurin

Thanks for the responses

Yes, it's my responsibility to lose weight. And I know 15 pounds isn't that much to some people, especially in two months time, but for me, it's a lot. I'm ore concerned about losing weight - even if 15 pounds is considered slow - and keeping it off (which means fighting cravings at times) than beating anyone in a biggest or fastest loser race.

I'd like to be able to continue to lose weight, even if it's a bit more slowly. The calorie limit was set by trainers through an work-sponsored program; My target range given to me was 1,200 to 1,400 calories per day. I've averaged 1,257 calories per day so far during this time.

I've managed to not eat many of the comfort foods that I grew up loving, but was sharing the frustration during a high-stress time of the emotional cravings to want to eat those comfort foods and looking for suggestions on fighting off those cravings. It may be worth noting that while my live-in boyfriend isn't trying to lose weight; he chows down on cherry pie, ice cream, cake, multiple hot dogs, cookies, etc. while I've generally been able to stick with my dietary changes. Which means I'm often making two entirely different meals - like for him, sausage links, peppers and onions, while I might have tuna and two ounces of pasta. His food choices are very different than mine.

For the first time ever, I think he may actually weigh a bit more than I do.

As for walking, I was walking quite a bit and do like it overall. What I didn't like was the amount of pain in the joints and the constant blisters on the bottoms of my feet. I could deal with a few, but when they became raw, open and bloody, on top of the joint pain, I decided to see both a podiatrist and a knee doctor. Both indicate that because of prior injuries (broken toes, flat arches, heel spurs, mistracking patella, cartilage removed through prior surgery) that I need to start physical therapy; the PT will evaluate me next week. They do want me to see a dermatologist as well. I don't know how else to describe it, but the skin on my feet just feels really thin.

The knee doctor fitted a brace for the one knee that I'd had surgery on before to help prevent the patella from dislocating again. The last time that happened, I was in a wheelchair for a while before graduating back to crutches and then to appearing to walk normally. However, the knee surgeon told me to be prepared for either knee to dislocate at any time, as neither kneecap (patella) sits in the groove where they are supposed to.

Because of the patella's location, biking is extremely painful - that's why I was walking as much as I was, because even walking until I had bleeding blisters was less painful than biking a half of a block. So when the doctor told me that walking was too high impact for me, I was really shocked. And frustrated, as you can see.

I'm not expecting losing weight to be "easy", but looking for suggestions. I will look at my calorie levels - maybe I wouldn't be feeling so hungry if I allowed myself closer to come closer to a 1,300 calorie a day average.

helaurin

Hello

This is my first post, so please be nice ^^
I would like to say first congratulation on losing 15pounds in 2 months! That's great!
Now, one thing I would recommend is that you start seeing your weight-loss journey not as a diet but as a long term lifestyle change.
You should eat healthy things that are tasty and that you could see yourself eating everyday even after you have reached your goal weight. If you restrict too much your calories because you want to lose weight fast, it will only work in the short run, but the cravings will become too much as eventually you will give in, then feel bad, eat more, gain all the weight back, feel more depressed, eat more etc.
I would definitely up your calories to at least 1450, aim for a 1 and 1/2 pound loss per week on MFP settings instead of 2 pounds. The fact that you are hungry shows that you are not eating enough, if your body is on starvation mode, once you start to eat 'normal' again the weight will pile back on. It is better to lose slowly and steadily trust me.
Also you should be able to indulge (not too often but maybe once a week) in what you call 'comfort food' as long as you try to limit the quantities. French onion soup, spaghetti, pancakes etc are can fit in a 1450calories plan when the quantities are limited. Like I said before, this is a lifetime change so you should not ban your favorite food. You can have it in moderate quantities once in a while.

Hope this helps,
Laura

Hi Laura,

Actually, what you said does make a lot of sense. I feel pretty good about losing 15 pounds in 2 months, even though it didn't meet the goal of the trainer through a work-sponsored program, which was 1% of our initial body weight each week.

I do think if I bump up my calories by 50-150 per day from what I've been averaging, I might still lose weight and be less frustrated.

Thanks!

Halleeon

I would suggest that you open up your diary so that people can give you constructive feedback on what you are eating. In my opinion, when we eat the wrong foods, our bodies send us signals that we aren't getting enough nutrition, which triggers cravings. At least, that is how it works for me...others may be different.

I had to increase the amount of protein I was eating to about double what MFP recommended, eliminate processed foods, and I try to keep my carbs under 150grams per day, although, I am not perfect. The carbs I normally eat come from vegetables and whole grains, or my almond milk. Lately, they have been coming from sugar cookies because I am working on learning how to make them for a very special occasion that is coming up. Anyway, I digress.

I would also be curious to know how much water you are drinking, as too little can have an impact on our bodies as well.

Also, honestly, I could never do a 1,200 calorie diet for an extended period without fearing losing mostly lean muscle mass and wind up binging...which is what it sounds like you are about to do.

If it were me in your shoes, I would go ahead and moderately eat whatever it was I wanted to satisfy the craving. And make a commitment to doing some research on eating at 15% above your BMR. You can use a calculator like this one: scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ to calculate how much you should be eating per day. You can and will lose weight and inches by eating more and you will probably feel better and have less cravings. Again, you probably really need to increase your protein if you want to feel fuller longer and decrease your carb intake (this is my guess without seeing your diary, but an educated guess based on how many times I have seen this scenario play out.)

In regards to your knees...stop being stubborn and listen to your Dr. Why go to a Dr. for expert advice and then not listen? Sorry, that is dumb.

If you can't join a gym, I would be more inclined to tell you to go on YouTube and find some light yoga routines you can follow, low impact. You can also do strength training to build muscle (which it sounds like you need) without impacting your knees as much as walking does. Muscle is awesome, especially when you lose fat and build lean muscle in its place. You lose SO MANY inches that way and the energy gained is unbelievable.

Anyway, believe in yourself, you can do this if you are willing to put the work in. Look inwards, not outwards for your primary support, we are here for you as well...but we can't do this for you.

Best to you.

helaurin

I do like walking, but to have the doctor tell me that it's off-limits due to the joint problems was very frustrating. It doesn't leave me a whole lot of options. they want to see if pt will help, otherwise, they'll probably want to surgically correct where my kneecaps are. Good for your grandmother If you read my profile, you'll see that one of the reasons I'm trying to lose weight is because I'm 50, but feel like I'm in my 70's or 80's - and I can't imagine how bad it will be for me if I live into my 70's - what - will I feel like I'm 120? That is part of the motivation. Also because, if they do decide to surgically correct my kneecaps, I'm thinking post-surgery rehab will be easier if there isn't so much weight on the joints.

A four-mile walk for me is pretty significant. I'm not sure what you mean by you "cannot fathom someone at 180ish pounds being unable to walk .... due to joint problems". Joints are really pretty important - they work with muscles to move the body. My first injury occurred when I was 15 years old (at that point, I weighed about 120 pounds, so I wasn't terribly overweight); the gym teacher pushed me down into a full split, without warning and I didn't have the flexibility to do it. Consequently, my knee joints were damaged, cartilage torn, meniscus torn, bursitis set in, etc. My knees would suddenly "lock" while walking, forcing me to manually "break" the joint from the locked position. While I knew it was very painful, I wasn't able to do anything about it until I got my own health insurance in my mid-20's as an adult and had surgery. That's when I found out how much damage had been done - and learned that without that surgery, the doctor's figured I would have been in a wheelchair permanently by the time I would turn 40. The "locking" of the knee joint was actually loose cartilage jamming the action of the knee joint - and every time I had to stop and "unlock" it, I was actually ripping more of the cartilage away. Unfortunately, relocating the patellas at that point wasn't pre-authorized by the HMO insurance. My second knee injury occurred just a couple of years ago, while walking; the left kneecap dislocated in mid-step, I fell and fractured it in the dislocated position. Per the surgeon, it's not a question of IF they will dislocate again, but merely WHEN. Which doesn't mean I don't want to walk - I do. I tend to try to walk with my service dog - and we've been walking so much, that she's lost weight too - enough for people to notice.

Your second response is pointless, your weight loss isn't everyone elses's responsibility.

I cannot fathom someone at 180ish lbs being unable to walk, male or female for exercise, due to joint problems.

My Grandmother can barely move, and she walks all the time.



You go on for paragraphs explaining good tasting foods, and it simply sounds to me like you

aren't ready to give up the old lifestyle and that is your problem. You will never beat this

condition if you don't give up your old lifestyle.


Caffeine can help suppress appetite. Eating your meals when your cravings get bad can as well.

Taking a nap through hunger is you absolutely must can help.

I don't understand why you are eating at 1200 calories being at 180 lbsish. That seems to low to me.

Restructure your diet for more filling foods and find a system you can stick with.


And no, i was 80 lbs overweight myself, check my photos, so I am talking from actual experience.

To note, not trying to be mean, but the ONLY person who can help you lose weight is YOU.

If YOU don't want to do it, you won't.

I am also sorry for your family situation, keep in mind though that doesn't excuse your behavior.

zachatta

^^ Alright, I will have to take your word for it.

I was a paratrooper and i smashed my legs into ground 30+ times in the military.

I also rucked marched at least every week, and ran on hard surfaces as well.

That is the reason why i can't "fathom" you having terrible knee issues, but I will

take your word for it, considering what you have described.

That being the case, you still must accept this new lifestyle of moderation period or you will fail.

If you cannot "walk" for exercise, you should try stationary biking, that is very low impact on your knees.

And also I don't know who told you 1200 cals at 180ish lbs, but I am currently consuming 1900 at 188

for a "cut" meaning below maintenance.

I would up your cals to maybe 1500 and see what happens there. To be honest if you drop

some weight, issues with your joints probably won't cease, but they may improve.

Anyways, stop considering junk food as a reward. You know as well as I do that once you devour

that (fill in the blank here food) you get about 30 minutes of temporary satisfaction, followed by emptiness

and a feeling of failure.

(This isn't to say you can't cheat every once in a while, but you shouldn't be cheating weekly. Unless it is "tiny"

cheats)

Hope this helps.

helaurin

I can't imagine the pounding your knees have taken as a paratrooper. I know I once had to jump from from a window about one story off the ground, barefoot and landing on concrete - but that that's nothing to landing from thousands of feet in the air. That's <insert expletive of your choice> scary.

I do think that because the initial injury was not treated promptly - nor properly - that it accelerated the damage to my knees. My parents refused to take me to see the doctor. After three weeks of hobbling around in pain with knees swollen twice their normal size and so inflamed that you could put your hand several inches above my knee and feel the heat radiating off of it - I finally told my parents that if they still wouldn't take me, I would hitchhike to the doctor's office and sit there until he could see me. I actually had to hobble out the door and head for the street before they realized I was serious; at that point, they caved in and agreed to make an appointment.

When the family doctor finally saw me and examined my knees, he yelled at me for waiting so long and said they were ruined - nothing to be done, I'd be in pain for the rest of my life. He gave a cortisone shot to try to reduce the inflammation, but other than that, nothing else. As far as the doctor, he stopped yelling at me when I told him I'd been trying to convince my parents to allow me to see him since the injury - and since my mother was in the room and instantly reacted with "we didn't think it was anything to worry about", he stopped yelling at me since she had confirmed that it was her decision to not have me treated for so long. Oh and he gave me crutches so I could try to keep weight off my legs as much as possible.

I know that eventually they'll want to do the surgery to move the kneecaps where they should be - and in theory, once that happens and I get through rehab, I should be able to do more activities than I do now. Biking is no impact, but it's really painful - even on a stationary bike - because of the way the kneecaps are positioned.

I've gotten creative on some of the forms of exercise that I do - mostly involving upper body work. For example, climbing up a ladder, hanging onto a tree with one arm and using the other arm to hand-saw branches from the tree. (It's a tree I eventually want to take down anyhow - it's a pine tree, maybe 50-60 feet tall. I've gotten maybe about 30-feet up on it so far - no branches left on the bottom half of the tree now!). Then alternating and sawing using my non-dominant hand - took a bit of getting used to. Digging out cracks in the driveway and then filling them with crack filler, twice, since the crack filler material shrinks as it cures. Getting on the roof of the house and cleaning all the shingles from branches and bits of moss that were taking root. Since I'm afraid of heights, my heart was pounding just from that alone. Hammering nails to make shelving and supports for the shed. Tug of war with two dogs (one 20-lb Jack-Chi mix, the other a 55-lb American Staffordshire - what most people call a Pit Bull). The Jack-Chi will grab the rope and I can do pull-ups with him on the end; I don't have the strength to lift a 55-lb dog that way. I do have a small vegetable garden, so tend to that a few times a week and just got the last fall planting in last weekend - but again, that's all upper-body stuff.

yoovie

deb3129

I honestly believe that weight loss is way more about what you eat than it is about the exercise. Yes, the exercise helps, and it is good for you in so many ways. But you can start the weight loss progress without it. When I first started in March of this year, I weighed 338 pounds and had a ton of knee pain whenever I had to walk very far or stand very long. At first, I just made dietary changes, and the first 50 pounds literally melted off. Then after that, I felt better, and had more energy, and I started walking. At first, I could barely manage a mile, but now I do 5 or 6 miles a day, at least several times a week. So if you are truly committed to changing, start with changing you diet, and being consistent with it. You will see differences.