Spouse isn't supportive in this...

jennstevens21

I feel the same way. I always tell my husband "if i was a cocaine addict you wouldnt bring cocaine around me would you?"

banshishi

I had a similar situation with me ex hubby (he is ex for a whole lot of reasons, not because of this) he just didnt want to participate and he wanted to keep eating the food he loved, but like its already been said its my journey not his, I had to do it for myself, I did too, lost loads of weight got fit. He never deliberately stood in my way, but didn't go out of his way to help either. In hindsight I am glad he didnt, because in the end I learned how to be more independent in my thinking and more decisive about my own personal choices.
In fact in some respects I am finding it harder with my new partner who is much more supportive and on same journey as me, because we both have similar goals but we end up debating and obsessing over what to eat , instead of me just getting on with my thing and him getting on with his..I know that sounds daft but there it is.

HollywoodDJ

"WHEN ONE PERSON IN THE FAMILY DECIDES TO GET BETTER, THE REST WILL FOLLOW"......

I heard this quote years ago in regards to "therapy" ....I remember I had to tell my husband ..."Look, this train is leaving...I am learning to take care of myself and you can either step on...or step off.....either way this train is leaving with or without you!"

He didn't like it but he did learn to change...now when I first started on MFP he tried sabotaging me a few times...eating chocolate bars and sweets right on front of my face (like 6 inches).....I remember being furious.......but he's come around and he is super proud of me and he will even go for walks with me. I know he's proud but he does struggle with being supportive.


We all develop our own roles respectively in our relationships....some healthy and sometimes not so healthy, but when one person decides to change the way things have always been done there is always an initial "upset" if you you will....but if you continue to be persistent and TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST and just continue on the path you are on then people will eventually come around and the ones who don't....you may need to reevaluate their role in your life. I have definitely had to do this and it hasn't been easy.

Hang in there!

kinsellae

Keep working on you, that's all you can do.

I am in the same boat. Husband (also 200 lbs) doesn't workout and doesn't care about how he eats. He also works very long stressful days- not excusing him because many people here do both but I've been a stay at home mom for a couple years and it's simply easier for me to focus on these things. Anyway in the beginning he teased a lot about making sure I counted every bite and wasn't supportive as in didn't want to hear about how I was progressing or what not.

We have talked about it and it really is jealousy. Jealous that I have the time. He also feels like I'm moving upward and he's in the same place (ironically I felt the same when I quit my job to stay home with my kids and he was getting promotions). They come around though and even if they don't this is good for you- don't stop.

rainbowbow

Do what you're going to do regardless of what he does. Period. Don't tell him what to eat, what not to eat, what not to bring around, when to workout, etc.

All that does is push him away, make him feel bad about himself, and resent you. Do what you are doing, eventually, maybe not now, maybe not a year from now, maybe not 5 years, he will make the decision to change for himself.

No amount of nagging/bi*ching is going to make him change his habits, trust me.

Do your own thing. Focus on yourself. You don't need a clone of you that has to do what you're doing in every aspect of your life.

Best of luck!

greeneyedKat

I am going through the same thing...sad thing years ago, both husband and I used to both be really fit (we even met at a gym that I worked at). In the almost 20 years we've been married, I strayed from fitness and diet 3 times now and found myself very unhappy each time And 20 or so pounds overweigbt! My thought at the time was, he doesn't care, why should I? Husband gained 80 lbs since we first met! But I do care and I have to do this! Even if it is a journey without him. My husband brings home all kinds of junk food( ironically, my son plays all sports in h.s. and needs to gain weight!). You just have to have will power!! Make sure you have healthy snacks in the house for yourself! My husband will work out once or twice a week and then go a month or two no workouts. He just cant stick with it and says he's too tired to work out when he gets home from work. I keep telling him that eating healthy will give him more energy...he wont listen. I know how frustrating it is but you cant change your spouse! The only thing we can do is be a good example and hope that they will come around when they see the effect of a healthy, active lifestyle has on us! Good luck!

Lisamb757

Thanks guys!!

My thing is, he brings me home candy and chips or other junk on his way home from work!! I've said to him flat out, many times, do NOT bring that home for me! Don't label it as mine, that makes it even worse.

Yes, he is active duty, he squeaks by on his PRT twice a year and that's that. His job is sitting around until a plane comes in, they usually play cards his whole shift. And his command does not have command mandated PT.

We do buy our groceries separately. I refuse to spend money on that junk and he will actually do his own shopping now. He has only gone as far as saying oh you spend less than I do on groceries. Oh, maybe bc my food is fresh and that includes some organic/ cage free/ whatever stuff too!

I still eat well and workout and "cheat" once In awhile and go out to eat or we will buy one of those two slices of cake things from the grocery store. It just really, REALLY sucks opening the cabinet for your protein powder and seeing Cheetos and ho-ho's!!

martintanz

I was liike your husband, always bringing chips, sweets, or high fat takeout home. Then I finally got on the health and fitness bandwagon iin July. Now I am the one who reminds her that she hasn't been to the gym in awhile, that she shouldn't be eating chips, etc...And, she is the one who sneaks junk food into the house from time to tiime.

careyannal

I still eat well and workout and "cheat" once In awhile and go out to eat or we will buy one of those two slices of cake things from the grocery store. It just really, REALLY sucks opening the cabinet for your protein powder and seeing Cheetos and ho-ho's!!

I know how you feel, there's cookies, pies, candy galore in my house. Just mentally make that food not a possibility. Have YOUR food, and THEIR food.

Some people think everything is ok in moderation, but in this situation, I disagree. I know that if I eat one of THEIR cookies today, it opens up a can of worms. So instead I choose one of MY snacks.