Next Male Honesty answers needed Please.

bottleOdom

Well, I tried and failed miserably with the talk about what he likes or doesn't like - got the "you are just fine baby" line - oh and "you are amazing" and then he shut THAT talk down. And yet I woke up alone again - he was asleep on the couch. . I am about ready to "go native" and never ever ever shave again - which I currently do daily, JUST IN CASE So... The few tips I got from you helpful wives and forthcoming men were to discuss getting his testosterone checked as well as recheck his blood pressure medication.

What would you recommend be the best approach for addressing this? He gets defensive when I ask about getting his diabetes check up every year. Record the testosterone commercial and play it as he comes in the room and say, "you know, I hear the guys that use this stuff are amazing in bed, just saying?" THIS IS WHAT I NEED ANSWERS OR SUGGESTIONS ON, HOW TO APPROACH WITHOUT "MAKING HIS BALLS SHRIVEL UP" SO TO SPEAK

And again, private message me if you want to be anonymous.

Thanks for the help in the last post! and no, I AM NOT A STARFISH

steve1686

is this him?

fcp1234

I would do 2 things for now :

1. Buy a maid, nurse, techer, school girl ( whatever) outfit, not something you've used before though, something new. And try how that goes. Make sure you wear it when the timing is right. If something happens, make sure he knows you are having the time of your life.


2. If that doesnt work, I would stock up on batteries and stop pushing him. Give it time and see what happens.

Just my 2 cents.

Dub_D

Just break up.

yoovie

Maybe your laser focus on this issue is making him completely black it out and all references to it and eventually you as well?

How about just let it go for at least a month or so?

bottleOdom

Just break up... really? That's the best I get? I am married, not dating, and I take that seriously. I want to help my husband. sheesh

hbrittingham

I think if this is a deal breaker for you, you need to suggest marriage counseling. If nothing else, it will help you both learn how to communicate effectively with each other, both talking and listening. You need to let him know that this is a deal breaker for you and that you need him to come to counseling with you. Some men are mortified when things "down there" aren't working properly and too embarrassed to speak with their SOs about it. It's a fact of life for some men to have problems crop up as they age. If they want to change it, then they need to be willing to talk about it, either with you, a counselor or their doctor.

SoDamnHungry

Go to marriage counseling. This sounds like it's causing you significant distress, and that's not good for any marriage.

fcp1234

Just break up... really? That's the best I get? I am married, not dating, and I take that seriously. I want to help my husband. sheesh

You got 2 people take time and give you their honest opinion, but you focus on the only one that said "break up".. Are you here to get help or start drama, seriously. Im out of here

Girl_Bomb

Go on date night, get your hair done, buy a new dress, look all sexy, maybe a cute outfit for afterwards? Get a hotel, new environment could spark a flame

But what I'm thinking is that Maybe he is having his own self esteem issues? Could have absolutely nothing to do with you, give him time, compliment him more, find out how work is going

auroranflash

Maybe your laser focus on this issue is making him completely black it out and all references to it and eventually you as well?

How about just let it go for at least a month or so?

This may be the best thing. Just give him a break and be super sweet to him, but don't do it expecting anything or as a means to a goal. Show him you love him without any of the pressure.

Jacwhite22

Well, I tried and failed miserably with the talk about what he likes or doesn't like - got the "you are just fine baby" line - oh and "you are amazing" and then he shut THAT talk down. And yet I woke up alone again - he was asleep on the couch. . I am about ready to "go native" and never ever ever shave again - which I currently do daily, JUST IN CASE So... The few tips I got from you helpful wives and forthcoming men were to discuss getting his testosterone checked as well as recheck his blood pressure medication.

What would you recommend be the best approach for addressing this? He gets defensive when I ask about getting his diabetes check up every year. Record the testosterone commercial and play it as he comes in the room and say, "you know, I hear the guys that use this stuff are amazing in bed, just saying?"

And again, private message me if you want to be anonymous.

Thanks for the help in the last post! and no, I AM NOT A STARFISH

PMing in case anyone would object to my response.....Lots of sensitive people around here.

digitalbill

Well, I tried and failed miserably with the talk about what he likes or doesn't like - got the "you are just fine baby" line - oh and "you are amazing" and then he shut THAT talk down. And yet I woke up alone again - he was asleep on the couch. . I am about ready to "go native" and never ever ever shave again - which I currently do daily, JUST IN CASE So... The few tips I got from you helpful wives and forthcoming men were to discuss getting his testosterone checked as well as recheck his blood pressure medication.

What would you recommend be the best approach for addressing this? He gets defensive when I ask about getting his diabetes check up every year. Record the testosterone commercial and play it as he comes in the room and say, "you know, I hear the guys that use this stuff are amazing in bed, just saying?"

And again, private message me if you want to be anonymous.

Thanks for the help in the last post! and no, I AM NOT A STARFISH

Obviously you love him.
With that said, you do want whats best for him.
Forget the sex for a moment. Right now, you should be more worried about his health.
Others have mentioned (and I think you confirmed) his blood pressure and his weight. concentrate on that.
From experience, I can tell you that weight gain and sex drive loss goes hand in hand.
On the same token, weight loss and sex drive gain also are directly proportional to each other.
I understand that you have needs. This is why I suggested BOB.
I would never suggest cheating and, in my opinion, if you decide on getting a little side action, you deserve whatever horrible things come along with that.
But, you already made it clear that is not an option. :drinker:

jonwv

have you come out and ask him?


we can't read minds...just come out and ask him whats up

Goal_Line

Go to marriage counseling. This sounds like it's causing you significant distress, and that's not good for any marriage.

I gotta agree with this. Your going to get much better help than on an Internet board.

Go to your husband and say, "hey I love you but this isn't working for me. You want me to be happy, right? You want to be happy with me, right? Then we need to figure this out."

Pedal_Pusher

Just break up.

Hear Hear

Contrarian

Maybe you snore and he sleeps on the couch because it is the only way he can get any rest.

BlueInkDot

Marriage counseling.

jesusHchris

Go to marriage counseling. This sounds like it's causing you significant distress, and that's not good for any marriage.

This. I know there is still a stigma attached to therapy for some, but I personally think this could be very beneficial.

corrinnebrown

Seriously why is he sleeping on the couch?

I mean you can sleep in a bed and not have sex.....

That screams cheater to me

Gremlinz

Well, I tried and failed miserably with the talk about what he likes or doesn't like - got the "you are just fine baby" line - oh and "you are amazing" and then he shut THAT talk down. And yet I woke up alone again - he was asleep on the couch. . I am about ready to "go native" and never ever ever shave again - which I currently do daily, JUST IN CASE So... The few tips I got from you helpful wives and forthcoming men were to discuss getting his testosterone checked as well as recheck his blood pressure medication.

What would you recommend be the best approach for addressing this? He gets defensive when I ask about getting his diabetes check up every year. Record the testosterone commercial and play it as he comes in the room and say, "you know, I hear the guys that use this stuff are amazing in bed, just saying?"

And again, private message me if you want to be anonymous.

Thanks for the help in the last post! and no, I AM NOT A STARFISH

When he is asleep on the couch, unzip and put it in your mouth......Go to town......If he doesn't respond he needs to see a doc. If there is not a medical issue he is gay. Either way....you will know.

^^^^^^^^^^^^ This!

BlueInkDot

Also this is kinda how my 9 year relationship ended. Definitely address it.

teelynn35

When he is asleep on the couch, unzip and put it in your mouth......Go to town......If he doesn't respond he needs to see a doc. If there is not a medical issue he is gay. Either way....you will know.
[/quote]

I'm going with this one:)

oneworkoutatatime

there may be a porn stash somewhere...

tri10806

Just break up.

Not the first time I've seen that response! :laugh:

dtreg35

Just break up.

dani's answer to every post ever!!!!!! lol hilarious

dinosnopro

Well, I tried and failed miserably with the talk about what he likes or doesn't like - got the "you are just fine baby" line - oh and "you are amazing" and then he shut THAT talk down. And yet I woke up alone again - he was asleep on the couch. . I am about ready to "go native" and never ever ever shave again - which I currently do daily, JUST IN CASE So... The few tips I got from you helpful wives and forthcoming men were to discuss getting his testosterone checked as well as recheck his blood pressure medication.

What would you recommend be the best approach for addressing this? He gets defensive when I ask about getting his diabetes check up every year. Record the testosterone commercial and play it as he comes in the room and say, "you know, I hear the guys that use this stuff are amazing in bed, just saying?"

And again, private message me if you want to be anonymous.

Thanks for the help in the last post! and no, I AM NOT A STARFISH

Obviously you love him.
With that said, you do want whats best for him.
Forget the sex for a moment. Right now, you should be more worried about his health.
Others have mentioned (and I think you confirmed) his blood pressure and his weight. concentrate on that.
From experience, I can tell you that weight gain and sex drive loss goes hand in hand.
On the same token, weight loss and sex drive gain also are directly proportional to each other.
I understand that you have needs. This is why I suggested BOB.
I would never suggest cheating and, in my opinion, if you decide on getting a little side action, you deserve whatever horrible things come along with that.
But, you already made it clear that is not an option. :drinker:

X2

MrOlewis

I know I dont you but, however what is it that you want your husband to do? What is that you feel he needs to work on and change?

kealambert

Just break up.

wow

rob1976

DISCLAIMER: Painful honesty follows.

He's bored. He's honestly probably just bored. If your sex life (when you have it) is ho-hum mundane, he can probably predict what you're going to do before you even do it. My marriage used to be like that.

She and I talked about it and decided we'd do some of our fantasies with each other (the ones that were within our limits, of course) and started changing things up a bit. Toys, costumes, bondage, spanking, role-playing, etc. Spontaneity murders mundaneness.

Try to find out what kind of porn he watches and try to incorporate some of that into your sex life. Not saying you should bring a friend home, but there just may be something he's looking for that you currently don't do.

You also need to adopt a "no nagging" policy for yourself. Nothing makes a guy's balls shrivel up and slam back up inside him than the grating sound of his wife harping on him. Nagging him about not having sex is TOTALLY counter-productive.

yoovie

Just break up... really? That's the best I get? I am married, not dating, and I take that seriously. I want to help my husband. sheesh

no.... actually we just watched you only pull that answer from all of them and decide it was the only advice you got.

Which was pretty comical.