To TELL them... or Just let it go?

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jr1985
jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have a couple friends who don't really have a filter when they speak... I know they don't MEAN to be offensive... but they are sometimes.

The other night one of my guy friends was over, we were talking about a mutual friend, and I said how pretty she was. He says "You're beautiful too... I honestly don't know why so many people put so much emphasis on physical appearance... You have an awesome personality!"

Now, I know him well... I know he MEANT for that to be a compliment... but it made me feel like Quasi Moto in the bell tower.

What do you do with your friends like this... Do you say anything... or just try to take if for the compliment that they meant for it to be and let it go?

* Edit to Add... No I'm not fishing for compliments in any way... and really DO appreciate the compliment... but just not sure if it would be helpful to tell people that while getting the compliment was AWESOME... for future reference it would be even more AWESOME if they phrased it in a different manor to someone else?

I get most of your point for him...

Another example... I have another friends who said "I'm so glad you are starting to work out! I have another friend about your size who does nothing but sits on her butt and eats Pizza all day and wonders why she's fat."... Again... would it be helpful to politely say that there is a better way to phrase that if she is going to say anything in the first place? Or just let it go and try to take it as a compliment?
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Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    If you knew what was meant, I don't see a problem.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease too and hate high maintenance people...so I can relate to your friend.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    That IS a compliment. He is your FRIEND, what do you want him to compliment you on ? Your hot *kitten*?

    If that was the worst thing my guy friend said to me I would be happy.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    It is your guy friend, he meant well.
  • cindyj7
    cindyj7 Posts: 339 Member
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    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.

    ^^This!!
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    What would you tell him exactly? "Thanks for calling my personality beautiful, but you forgot to compliment my appearance?".

    Women.. pfft..
  • TonkaDanteFriend
    TonkaDanteFriend Posts: 70 Member
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    Thank him and then make him another sammich.
  • krisiepoo
    krisiepoo Posts: 710 Member
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    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.

    ^^ bwahahahaaa... this for sure

    Stop being a girl and accept the compliment
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
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    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.

    Smart woman! :)
  • Siekobilly
    Siekobilly Posts: 401 Member
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    It was a compliment. Don't look for things that aren't there. Men rarely say something and mean something else. They aren't girls.


    Thank God.
    This. It drives me up a wall when a woman asks me something, I answer, and they take it in a completely different direction. As a general rule men say what they mean, and mean what they say.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease too and hate high maintenance people...so I can relate to your friend.

    <3
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
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    I fail to see how what he said was anything other than a compliment.
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
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    He called you beautiful and said you have a great personality. Take the compliment :)
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
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    accept it :)

    it may not have been what you wanted to hear but it was a wonderful, sincere compliment.

    :smile:
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    when a friend flubs a compliment like that. i usually sarcastically say "thanks a lot." and then he or she inevitably says, "no, no... i meant ______."

    i rarely put as much thought into this as you have.


    i am beginning to think that you would like to be more than friends.
  • IronTitaness
    IronTitaness Posts: 117
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    I would take it as a compliment. I don't see anything wrong with what he said.
  • ericalyn73
    ericalyn73 Posts: 79
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    He's a dude. Enough said.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    So, you've got the warm fuzzy feelings for this guy friend and he hasn't expressed a physical attraction. Is that the issue?
  • a_stone_girl_dances
    a_stone_girl_dances Posts: 76 Member
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    I don't agree with the majority here, but I also don't know what you would say. He did mean it as a compliment, but though direct, was very insensitive. You *are* very pretty and I think so often, folks don't see the "whole package". Which, he half said. You have every right to be upset, but at the same time, correcting someone rarely works. So, I just hope it dawns on him sooner than later, that he should think a little bit more before he speaks.

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