Scared - please help

ashesfromfire

Though the last 6 months of my life have been dedicated to getting healthy, I do have a past muddled by anorexia. I thought I was in a good head space to take on this journey, but now I'm starting to have unhealthy thoughts and it scares me. In example - this morning I was ecstatic after weighing in and seeing some big results - I've only recently come off a plateau and the scale moving is a freaking blessing. Anyways, shortly after I was fighting a thumping headache and realized I hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day and was likely dehydrated, as soon as this thought crossed my mind it was followed up by another nagging voice in my head chiming, "If you drink water, your weight is gonna go right back up!" WOAH! hold the phone, self, we're not playing that game here. I got up, got some water, and, though absolutely ridiculously, felt guilty. LOGICALLY I know it's preposterous, but it's still there inside of me. I keep having these moments, when I'm starving and that nagging voice tells me it's a good thing, or when I workout so hard I cry and the voice tells me how weak and fat I am. I really need some advice. Anyone out there recovered from an eating disorder and trying to get healthy?

sam308lbs

Bump!

ashesfromfire

bump

tracypk

Yes I am there with you. What I do is let the voice scream all it wants and as long as I know I'm making good decisions then it gets better. Like how you ignored the voice telling you water would make you gain weight. You felt guilty for it but the more you do this and see the results of drinking the water it will get easier. Hope this helps. It's hard when you're head tells you things you know are bad for you. The other thing you might want to try is take care of your emotions in a healthy way. I restrict when I'm upset. If I can find a way to comfort myself and get feeling better then that quiets the voices a bit. Good luck and hang in there.

jen10st

Yes I am there with you. What I do is let the voice scream all it wants and as long as I know I'm making good decisions then it gets better. Like how you ignored the voice telling you water would make you gain weight. You felt guilty for it but the more you do this and see the results of drinking the water it will get easier. Hope this helps. It's hard when you're head tells you things you know are bad for you. The other thing you might want to try is take care of your emotions in a healthy way. I restrict when I'm upset. If I can find a way to comfort myself and get feeling better then that quiets the voices a bit. Good luck and hang in there.

Yep this.
The great thing is you recognise this little voice as having bad ideas and can ignore it. It's not easy overcoming an eating disorder but you are on the right track and clearly making sensible choices so don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck x

twinketta

I am not recovering from an eating disorder and I took a sneaky peek at your diary I hope you don`t mind??

Maybe the answer is to drink a little between meals as your sodium is very high? I suffered with bad headaches when I didn`t drink enough.

But I hope you get some answers from people that have had eating disorders.

But try, meanwhile, to have a cup of water every hour or so, it will really help with the headaches :-)

Graelwyn75

Yes, I am fighting a similar battle, although I swung from anorexia to bulimia, alhough my weight is underweight by a few pounds. I have the issue with drinking too, worrying about it showing on the scale since I wake and sleep at peculiar times, and therefore weigh myself before dinner each day. The thoughts are always there and I relate also to the exercise. I do take a day off each week, sometimes two, but when I do exercise, it is often 90 minutes interval training on the elliptical.

ashesfromfire

bump

ashesfromfire

could really use more advise

jerbear1962

Eating disorders are hard to overcome, many need to seek therapy to actually beat them. The battle is there and no one knows, try to plan your days meals the day before, print that off and try to stick to that plan as close as you can. I do that now, I have tomorrows meals all planned out and I print it off post it on my fridge. I know when I go in that when I open that door the foods I should be having is right there. You will need to drink that water and eat that food for energy to make those work outs easier. Good luck

ChantalGG

What other goals do you have for yourself beside the numbers on the scale? I hate the scale and do mini goals to get me in the right direction. I do like to measure myself though. but since i want good health i try to compete with myself, i have an excel chart that i write down all my weekly results and try to beat them the following week.