ready for throwing the towel in help!!!!!

lucylousmummy

i have been on a diet on and off pretty much my entire adult life, last year i started seriously and have managed to lose 87lbs and keep it off, i am about 25lbs away from the goal weight that my doctor set me but.................

due to being under immense stress for the last few months my diet has ground to a halt, i find myself yoyoing (sp) 7lb in any given week, i am trying to stay within my calories (and here is where my diet falls down) i find i cant function without energy drinks, at the minute i am drinking 6 a day just to keep going, and at 108 calories each i cant really afford to do it calorie wise, so i am either going without food to compensate for the extra calories which in turn gives me less energy, or working out like a maniac till i'm exhausted so i can have extra calories but need more energy drink to prop me up

a bit of background info so you get a better picture, i am b12 deficient and should have vitamin injections every 3 months but for reasons known only to my doctor he has decided that he wants me to go without it for 6 months to see if i have improved, i have been 5 months now without an injection, and even though my doctor has said i am showing signs that i do indeed still need the injections,he is unwilling to give me them until after i have had a blood test to determine the results, and i'm not due that test till early january, so i'm already feeling drained, and tired from that.
i have 4 kids and my 12 year old has got mental health issues, i have been fighting all of his life to try and get some sort of professional help for not only him but the rest of the family, we have been passed around from one agency to the next pretty much for the last 11 years, and it feels like i have been banging my head against a wall for years, finally in desperation i have begged social services to get involved, but we have had to do it by going to a meeting to see if my kids fit the criteria to go on a child protection register, so since july the entire family have been under the microscope, and in turn it hasn't helped with my sons state of mind (he is convinced we are doing this to get him put in care which i'd never consider) making his violent outbursts towards me my husband and eldest daughter jump from being daily to every 5 mins, after the meeting they got put on the children in need register as the family needs additional services to help us function, so we were told we would get a specialist social worker as soon as one was available, in the mean time we have had a duty social worker visit us every week,and not only have i had to go above and beyond the normal cleaning, i am having to scrub the house top to bottom as they have been complaining about stupid things, for example the 2 oldests bedrooms were slightly messy, the first social worker told me they were old enough to tidy it themselves so i left it, the second one said i had to do it and because i hadnt she wrote a report on it about the house being unreasonably messy? when i phoned to question this (the rest of the house was spotless) i was told it was purely because of the kids rooms, so as to not risk it again i am cleaning constantly top to bottom every single day scrubbing walls, steam cleaning the floors the full monty, i'm hoping that now we have been allocated our social worker that this calms down a bit, but it's never going to be calm in our house and i'm always going to have to be alert

so as you can see i can't be exhausted and deal with all this crap, but i can't go on relying on these energy drinks to hold me up and get the things done that i need to

so has anybody got any ideas on how i can break this vicious cycle that i have found myself in, before i throw the towel in and gain weight or go the other way bordering on an eating disorder

sorry for the long post x

jilllemar

Sounds like you are gaining weight because of stress. And it is not any stress you can control, not really. I think you need a person who is just there for you, someone to listen. You are bottling the stress and exhausting yourself. Have you tried any kind of therapy. Just someone to listen and be on your side. Some place you can take your stress and say here it is, someone who is bound to confidentiality by law?

I am not trying to say you have a psychological problem, it just sounds like you need to be able to talk to someone who will listen and won't judge, until you are in a less stressful place in life. I've done the therapy route once in my life about ten years ago and didn't really like it, but it got me through a horrible time. I've found I got more from talking to my Reverend at church, but that was what worked for me. Both were very similar, they listened and had a few words of advice. But I came out feeling like a load had been lifted and I could face another week.

healthyformeanMona

Hello! And kudos to you for all the hard work you are doing, for your family and for yourself! I would love to give you an easy answer, but not sure there are any. I can offer my support and encouragement. There are no shortcuts, so I hope you are able to be gentle with yourself. Look at eating right as nurturing and providind yourself energy for the task at hand. When I go off on food binges, usually lots of carbs and sugars--I am sluggish, lethargic, cranky, for days after. And it affects my work, my home, my kdis, etc...so please don't throw in the towel. You can do this,!

JRaeZins

I am sorry your situation is so stressful and it seems like you are doing a great job reaching out for help and just not getting it. I agree with the other post and try to find a trusted friend, pastor or counselor for you. If you know that you have that hour a week to vent your stress and frustration then maybe the rest of the week can be tolerable until you can get the help you need. My heart goes out to you but don't give up. As for your energy, maybe you can find some foods/supplements high in the B vitamins that you can replace one of those energy drinks with. Good luck with everything.