when is enough enough?

knightreader

how do i know when to stop losing weight? since january i have lost 68 pounds (about 45 on mfp). currently i am 6 foot, 225. i odn't ever remember weighing this low. maybe high school? i never had a specific goal weight in mind, but was wanting to get to 240, then i did and still thought i looked fat. just not as fat. then decided on 230, still thought i looked fat. and now 225, and you guessed it... still think i look fat.

everyone that knows me "before and after" can't believe how good i look, and while i agree i look BETTER, i thought losing close to 70 pounds would have more of an effect on my appearance. apparently, it does, tho, just to other people.

my clothes fit better, i feel better, can do more physical stuff, but when i look in the mirror, i still see a fat guy looking back. like i said, just not as fat.

losing all this weight has done great things for me, i don't want to seem like i am complaining. i am not, i just thought i would look and feel differently than i do at this point.

so i guess my question is this... will i ever be happy with the way i look? or am i just not happy b/c i can still lose more weight? i don't weight train, should i? i don't think i'll ever have the 6 pack abs, and those aren't really even something i want.

how do you change your mind after all these years of looking in the mirror and seeing something you don't like, to like what it sees now?

tobnrn

It takes awhile for the mind to catch up. If your unhappy with your physique incorporate some weight lifting. I would suggest lifting heavy.

daveswiggs

I agree with tobnrn, start weight lifting, the heavier the better. You'll be surprised how you can transform your look with a big chest and broad shoulders.

knightreader

thanks for the suggestions guys. not really looking to get on the cover of fitness magazine, just trying to find out if there is a point where it clicks in your mind and you see you, not what used to be you.

i tried lifting in college, no not 12 ounce curls, for a semester with a friend that lifted in high school as a wrestler. he got bulkier and stronger. i got sore. all semester, almost every other day, never got any stronger.

perhaps a few hand weights to tone up as bit is the way to go.

anyone else have any advice?

2hobbit1

You might start to look at body fat % as a goal rather than a weight goal. It is more predictive of health risk rather then just a weight/BMI goal.

Look at stronglifts 5x5 (free download) or at "Starting Strength" by Riptoe, or any of the New Rules of Lifting books, all are good programs. Lifting heavy is only done 3 times a week so you have time to recover. Muscle gain happens on the rest/recovery day not the workout day. You will see the smaller but still fat you become the stronger and toned person you want. You don't need to get down to 5% body fat and look like a magazine cover pix to get a better look.

GaidenJade

Since I a not at my goal yet I can't say if I will be totally happy with myself then, though coming close I think it's a matter of you being happy with you. If you're not sure what to do, I would suggest maintaining for a while, let your mind settle into the new you. Work on self esteem and being happy with who you are. Remember how far you have come. I would think that it will click one day. I already look in the mirror and see someone that at least resembles the person I am inside, but it isn't just a physical journey. Who do you want to be? Answer that, and work toward that goal.

One question. I understand not wanting to be on the cover of fitness magazine, but lifting heavy isn't just meant to make you all bulky and muscle headed. It changes the shape of your body and give you a sense of accomplishment. A tiny shift in the shape of your body may just help your head click. I would suggest trying it. You never know, you may like it. And as for your friend getting big and you getting sore..... perhaps you didn't fuel your body right. Eat more protein if you decide to lift heavy, it helps with soreness.

ReallyJoyfulMommy

Knightreader,
First of all I want to say congratulations on what you have accomplished so far! That is awesome! When I read your OP, the first thing I thought of was "what is your goal." It seems like up to this point, your goal has been simply numbers. I really like what someone else mentioned in their reply, that you could look at body fat composition (or body composition in general)... setting a fitness goal instead, like I want to be able to run x distance, or lift x weight. It seems like you are looking for the weight loss to fill something else that is missing. It is hard for us to look in the mirror and see ourselves through other people's eyes. We see who we were. I try to step back and look from a different perspective if I can. If I am feeling negative about how I look, or not good enough, different enough, etc., I try to set my focus on something I need to accomplish. Take the focus off the negative and replace it on the positive. It has made a difference in my life. I FINALLY can see progress a bit more than in the past. And I figure that if I do the "next right thing" and be gentle with myself in the process, I will keep heading in the right direction! Here's to more healthy success for you!

catpow2

Weight lifting. Weight lifting will absolutely transform the shape of your body. Check out the New Rules. But you do have to go heavy--light weights won't do anything. And, no, you won't necessarily look like a fitness model or get a 6-pack. You'd actually have work really hard to achieve that and be extraordinarily disciplined in terms of diet.

knightreader

thanks for the advice everyone! while i am not convinced that lifting is my thing, i will give it more thought.

people have asked who i want to be. i want to be an active guy. i love the mental picture in my head of my kayak on top of my car with my bike rack on the back. one of my fav days over the summer was when i took a 5 mile hike. and i couldn't do any of that a year ago. so, yes, i am proud of that and happy with myself for that. it is just that when i look in the mirror i still see the old me. just wondering when that will change.

not fueling my body correctly the first time i tried lifting is probably accurate. i know a lot more know. maybe that is the key.

thanks again!