how to stay on track when so sad

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  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    Im very sorry for your loss.. it might not help ow, but i love the verse.. "blessed ae those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

    Take time to grieve... let your body do its thing. Cry, get angry, be sad. its okay to be depressed, for petes sake, you lost your father, your best friend! you are going to be miserable for awhile.. if you werent, i would wonder why!

    Time is the only thing that will heal your pain. It will never cure it, but it will help ease it. Only then will you be able to go on with your daily routine. It will seem just that at first.. routine. going through the motions.. just to pass the time, until you cry again.. then it will seem like you are only doing it to pass the time so you dont cry. Eventually, and i promise, this WILL happen, one day, out of the blue, when you think of your daddy.. a smile will come across your face.. and a single tear. Thats when you know the happy memories will have overweighed the pain of his passing.

    In the mean time, eat what you like, but cut your portions in half. Dont worry so much about what you choose, but the size of what you choose. That will help you when you need those comfort foods, but dont want to kill the work you have put in so far.

    Again, im so sorry for your loss... i cannot imagine.

    Hugs and love.
  • amm703
    amm703 Posts: 111 Member
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    You sound just like me, I am very sorry for your loss and I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Father about 18 months ago after a 5 year battle with colon cancer, and on that day stopped exercising. It has taken over a year to get back on track and I am still not 100% there.

    It will take time, right now you need to grieve but remembering all the good times does help. If you need to, talk to a counselor....they can help. I wish you the best but I also recommend don't give up on exercising and eating healthy
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    Take some time to grieve first. You don't have to do everything at once. Grieve first. The healthy eating and exercise can come later.
  • future_rockstar
    future_rockstar Posts: 711 Member
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    I'm so sorry tamba to hear of the loss of your Dad. Losing a parent has got to be one of the most traumatic life events we ever go through. Please do everything you can to take care of yourself as best you can. Don't fight the grief/sadness; you need to take the time to mourn his loss and grieve in whatever way helps you personally. Sometime down the road, you will be ready to deal with "staying on track". It doesn't mean you won't have bumps in the road or setbacks, but you will be able to do it right most of the time and achieve the goals you're hoping for. Your Dad will probably be sitting on your shoulder giving you a gentle nudge when he thinks you need it most. Hugs to you.
  • saraphim41
    saraphim41 Posts: 205 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and join us on the boards whenever you can. We look forward to seeing you, and will be pleased when you feel like joining in again. God bless.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    wow, what a wonderful group of people MFP are. I love that I got on here and was feeling down and saw all your responses. It put a smile on my sad face. Thank you for all your support. For those that have lost someone close to them too, I am sorry for your loss. I will continue to re-read all your wonderful replies and know that I have supporters and what wonderful supporters you are. Thank you again.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Honestly, the sadness does get less over time, but it can still come back and hit you out of the blue sometimes. The things that help me most are being kind to myself, getting some alone time to just let my feelings be if I can, and exercise really does help if you can make yourself get started. Huge hugs.
  • Danilynn1975
    Danilynn1975 Posts: 294 Member
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    I lost my Dad 23 years ago, he's been gone now longer than I had him. Regardless of the time. sometimes it feels fresh as yesterday, but I can tell you that wound left in your heart will heal over.

    It will get easier to process the loss and missing Dad. You'll never like it and you will always miss him. But there are days and they will come more frequently as time and grief pass that you can think of him or hear phrases people say, or see things that make you think of your dad and it will be a comfort and a happy thing. But I wish I could tell you your birthday will come and it not be hard, but it still isn't there for me. My dad's birthday was 15 days before mine, so my birthday is always a reminder that we split the difference and celebrated both halfway in the middle of his and mine together.

    I can say that if you have kids you will gift them if you can with his silly things and stories, and his spirit will continue. Because I believe no one is gone as long as someone remembers, one to tell and one to listen. So you have shared your dad with us, and we will remember.

    So here's my silly thing me and my daddy used to do, I passed it to my kids. Nutrition be damned. My Dad loved few things as much as Dairy Queen soft serve in a dish savored with Sonic onion rings, followed up with half a Three Musketeers candy bar split with me and a Diet Dr. Pepper. We split just one order of all of that once a week on thursdays, his day off and he spent it with me. Always with me. And the joke to finish the day: " do you want to hear a dirty joke?" Yes daddy, "Ok, he'd say.....a white horse fell in a mud puddle!"

    So, don't beat yourself up. Stay on track as best as you can. Cry when need be. And know as long as you remember him and share his spirit he is never gone.

    Much love to you. My dad and yours I'm sure are smiling and having a grand ole time up there.
  • sharonhauptman
    sharonhauptman Posts: 60 Member
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    aw,
    Let it all out , get it all out. As often as you feel sad, let it all out. I still cry 6 years later. Let it all out. I wish he was still here for you.

    You were gift to him on the day of your birth - you can believe it was the best day of the year for him whenever it was your birthday and he got to think of how he treasured you and the day you were born.

    You can find a place with a beautiful bench and maybe STROLL. Slow it down. Right now life is not a race. It is time to mourn, jumping up and down seems contrary to human inclinations right now.

    Love
  • cynthiaterry1234
    cynthiaterry1234 Posts: 5 Member
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    A dear friend died a few weeks ago, I keep telling myself that he would want me to honor his memory by finding the humor in dark moments and noticing the little things that are good in life. Grief is a roller coaster. I went through this when my dad passed away. This time I am letting myself feel joy when I do in the knowledge that the tears come anyway at random times. On a more practical note, try to go outside and get some fresh air.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    Danilynn, I loved that story about your dad. I know that I have many, many stories of my dad. I will always remember the good things. I know that one of my favorite times was when he was in the hospital bed and dying, I crawled up in the bed with him and put my face next to his chest and with what very little energy he left, he put his arm around me and held me and kept saying how he loved me so very much. And that I was his favorite daughter. Of course this was a ongoing joke because I was his only daughter:) Then he just smiled down at me, I stayed in the bed with him for at least 10 minutes, not ever wanting to get up. But I knew he was having a hard time breathing and I had to get up. But that last hug will always be remembered. I will soon remember more of the funny stories becuz with my dad, there were so many. He was sick for so very long but he always stayed in good spirits and even joked around.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    A dear friend died a few weeks ago, I keep telling myself that he would want me to honor his memory by finding the humor in dark moments and noticing the little things that are good in life. Grief is a roller coaster. I went through this when my dad passed away. This time I am letting myself feel joy when I do in the knowledge that the tears come anyway at random times. On a more practical note, try to go outside and get some fresh air.

    I know I have to move. I'm afraid that if I crawl up in bed, I will just want to stay there
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    I just want you to know that your support is so great. It feels really good being able to talk(or type) out my feelings and I plan to continue doing so. I hope you don't get sick of me.
  • tdhighfill
    tdhighfill Posts: 200 Member
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    Take some time to grieve first. You don't have to do everything at once. Grieve first. The healthy eating and exercise can come later.

    So sorry for your loss. Count it as a win that at least you are semi-aware of what you are eating. Log if u can so you at least stay in touch with MFP. You will know when you are ready to focus on fitness.

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