Emotional aspect

censu67

Last year I lost close to 60lbs, was determined to lose even more. I did some traveling and fell off the wagon big time. Since then I've gained almost all of that 60lbs back. I remember telling anyone that would listen that I'd never be over weight again. But here I am, almost back where I started. BP is on the rise, Apnea is setting in again. I'm well read on nutrition and know many of the right things to do. But can't seem to get my head, or rather my emotional self, back into the game.

Each day I'll eat the junk that's in front of me or I might go to store to buy some and then tell myself "OK just this one time and I'll start fresh tomorrow". I do great till late afternoon or evening then seem to trip over myself.

I'm now convinced that last year was will power only, and that I didn't address and correct my emotional aspect. But while I believe this is the cause/reason, I'm clueless as to how to address and correct.

To further ad insult to injury, when people were complimenting me last year on how great I was looking, I'd get embarrassed and almost feel ashamed for my own success. I even had one friend, that I've always been 30-50 lbs heavier than, tell me "I hate that you're skinnier than me now". I don't believe she meant anything by it, at least on a conscious level, but here I am a year later still reflecting on it.

Has/does anyone else experience this? What have you done to address and correct?

I'm 45 now and my father had his first heart attack at 47 or 49 (don't recall) and died at 59. While I'm not a smoker or heavier drinker like him, this bothers me greatly and I need to be proactive. But I also need to make sure the changes I make are for the reasons that will allow me to maintain them for a life time.

Would appreciate any insight and please, all opinions are welcome.

Mike
if you wish to friend me, memro is my name on here and I'd be happy to chat and support you.

gazelleintraining

Each day I'll eat the junk that's in front of me or I might go to store to buy some and then tell myself "OK just this one time and I'll start fresh tomorrow". I do great till late afternoon or evening then seem to trip over myself.

I can relate to this completely. This was my thought process and behavior before MFP, and you're experiencing it right now because, frankly, that urge is stronger than you right now. The good news is it doesn't have to be that way.

Here's something that helped me break that cycle: I dropped the shame game and called overeating out for what it really is: a strong physical addiction to the brain's opiate-like substances that are released when overeating sugar-fat-salt combos. The reason why you play the "tomorrow game" (and I did, too, for many years) is because you're not fully aware how strong the pull of these feel-good chemicals are. If you want to find out--and you'll have to, if you want to get healthy--simply start tracking your calories faithfully on this site and stay under your projected target for, say, one pound a week. Between one and five days, you're going to start feeling depressed, anxious, and maybe even angry at times. That's physical withdrawal, my friend.

If you push through about two weeks in, you'll start feeling stronger and by the end of week three (which is 21 days, which is also coincidentally the average amount of time it takes to break a physical addiction ), you'll be in full control. Sure, there will be triggers, but you'll know when to pass on a certain food or drink item because you want t stay committed to your plan. See, right now, you're in the grips of it, so committing to healthy change can only be temporary (through the day, maybe a couple days at most, right?)

What worked for me was letting my emotionally ruminating and chatty self ramble on while I kept the eyes on the prize: Getting through to the end of week three by tracking religiously. I vowed to push through, and allowed myself to feel like absolute emotional crap (depressed, moody, angry at times) for two weeks and considered it "healing time" while I simply tracked my calories and kept it mostly under the recommended level and started exercising in increasing amounts (and I cannot stress enough how much exercise takes away a lot of the bad feelings in the beginning). Now heading into the fourth week, the concept of "tomorrow" as an excuse is not even in my vocabulary, which is staggering, given how many years I used it. Trust me; it's amazing what three weeks can do--it can completely change your world.

Also, take comments from friends or acquaintances or family members at arms length--let 'em roll right off your back. At best, what they're really expressing is that now that you're getting healthier it makes them realize they have a lot of work to do but that they aren't yet ready to commit to a healthy change. And at worst, you are interacting with someone who has to feel better than you in the appearance and health department in order to feel good about themselves, which if that's the case, is pretty messed up.

But you know what? None of the negative stuff that people say matters. In the end it only matters how you think, how you feel, and how you act. This is about you getting healthy. And you CAN do it, and you CAN have lasting health. I believe in you.

PapaDunx

My weight has been up and down more times than a prostitute's knickers.

It does indeed come down to the emotional parts of your life.

When Im bored (too often) I eat. So, this year (my last at uni) will be the year that I have to fill my time.

The one thing I have learned in the last 6 weeks (since starting on MFP) is that it doesnt matter what you eat. It really doesnt. But it does matter what you log and what exercise you do to counter it.

I never eat chocolate. Or if I do, its once a month. But in the last two days I have had strong cravings for something sweet after dinner. Looking at my calories I still had over 1000 after dinner, so I treated myself. But that was because I had exercised to give me a buffer.

None of this is new to you.

You lost 60lbs and that means you can do it again. You WILL do it again.

I am a professional sports instructor of 25 years. You pick up sayings and catchphrases as you go through, and the one I very rarely use on other people, but on myself is "Amateurs practice till they get it right, professionals practice until they cant get it wrong."

Go back to basics.
Log food intake.
Do the small amounts of exercise so you dont hurt yourself. (I cycle - too heavy to run)
Plan your day, so if you go too mad at lunch, eat veggies for dinner.

I am totally with you, as I was where you are. Lowest weight ever as an adult - 200lbs, heaviest - 320lbs ... now - 220lbs and heading down to 180!

Stick with it. You can do it. HELL ... You DID do it.

Just go do it again!

bex0178

I started and stopped for a long time, always regaining the weight I lost. Then one day, I decided to pull together pictures and websites that motivated me. I found the Fitblr community on Tumblr, and through them, MFP. I keep a blog, not of personal things, but just of pictures and quotes and statistics that motivate and educate me. I kept it for a couple of months before I really got control. I also started tracking my food before I even thought of 'dieting.' Just seeing what I was eating was enough for me to start tweaking a little here, a little there, until before I knew it I had no junk food in my home at all. It was a slow process, but I think it was the best way for me to go. I changed my mind, my thinking, before I changed my diet by re-educating myself on food and nutrition.

censu67

Last year I read Jackie Warners book "This is why you are fat (and how to get thin forever) and it just clicked. I started losing weight at over 3lbs a week for months. Later the weight loss slowed naturally and I tried a few different more fad like things and that was a mistake. Then my life became rather stressful and I went back to food for comfort.

In her book she basically stressed the same detox that gazelleintraing suggested. Basically cut out sugar and fast carbs and for the first two weeks eat the way you normally do but add 3 veggies and 2 fruits a day, but you must have them. The logic being after 2 weeks you'll crave junk less and will better be able to leave it alone. Then on weekends you get 2 cheat meals, the only rule being each meal cannot be more than 1500 cals each. This plan worked for me, it really worked! But like I said, I just can't seem to get back into it and heavens knows I've tried.

I also agree that logging is key. Next weekend I have a football game with a big tailgate party and the weekend after I have out of town guests, so it's not going to be easy. But I love that quote you posted and I'll make this commitment. For the rest of this month I will log everything I put into my mouth. I've become rather adept at not logging when I cheat. Time to take responsibility for my actions.

Also last year I was working out regularly, often 6 times a week. This too has dropped off completely and 2 weeks ago I broke a bone in my foot so I'm extremely limited to what type of exercise I can do right now. But I'm going to try a few floor ab exercises and think I'll try laying on my back and 'air cycle', should be any stress on my foot (I hope).

gazelleintraining

That books sounds interesting--I'm going to check it out.

I think it's awesome that you have the ability to "get real" with yourself--it's going to serve you well.

Here are a few motivating quotes from the late great basketball coach John Wooden that always help me out when doubt creeps in:

On self-motivation and challenges faced:
-->“Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” (Like foot injuries, for instance )
“-->Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

On making mistakes
-->“Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.”
-->“If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.” (And over time you'll learn what works for you, but you've got to "do" to the best f your ability.)

The perception of other people
-->“You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.”
-->“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” (And your character is someone who commits to healthy change!)

Welcome back!

censu67

Thank you, I really like those quotes. Is this the same coach that died from cancer and there was a book and a talk by/for him that got a lot of air time?

M

gazelleintraining

Yes, my husband is a huge fan and quotes him a lot, so it's kind of rubbed off on me.

withchaco

If you want quotes, here is my favorite one:

censu67

Love that quote and very appropriate for weight loss, thanks. Already posted it to all my friends on fb!

Mike

nitabean47

I have been in your shoes more than I care to count....I had the GBS in 2007 and I dropped 126lbs.....the worst thing I did was think I had control. I went from little cheats once a week to daily...went through a ACL replacement in my knee and up 50 pounds in 2 years. I am disgusted with myself! I do fairly well with eating, moving is still a challenge my knee still bothers me but as soon as I see something my brain wants everything goes out the window! It is frustrating and I hate the lack of control. I started reading Chris Powells book and he talks about mind over machine (body) and how the machine will win if you let it. I am going to re-read those chapters again and try to remember this will be a life long battle. I got it on google books for $9.50 might want to check it out.

censu67

That sounds like an interesting book. I'm re-reading Jackie Warners book because it works for me, so I know it works.

I'll add you as a friend so we can help support each other.

Mike

gazelleintraining

If you want quotes, here is my favorite one:

Love that quote! So true, and amazing how fast time flies. Might as well make it productive!