Sometimes I'm just plain out scared.....

rozsbluejay

I'm taking a behavioral analysis class and my professor made a really good point. We're scared of change because its different. In context of losing weight, we're afraid to look different because we may fear the worse. Its true. I have been big all my life and I don't know anything else besides my big self.

Also, every time that I have tried to lose weight I haven't lost anything more than 4 pounds. I'm scared. I had a dream not too long ago about myself: It was a year in to MFP and I was thin and beautiful and the scale still said 300. I've never lost a significant amount of weight.

To which my professor says we fear change and I conclude that I'm just plain out scared of something - I just don't know what.

TheFitHooker

This may be true for some but I don't think is so for all. I am scared of gaining my weight back. I love how I look now, I hated how I looked then. I actually think I'm pretty now, I thought I was fat and ugly before. My confidence is amazing now. I have nightmares reoccurring nightmares where I have a triple chin again. I will wake up crying over it. I've talked to some people about it and been told by a few different people that the fear I have is kinda a good thing because I won't let myself go back to that place.

pwyellow87

I have similar fears, i've been over weight so long. That it didn't seem like i was that over weight, when it fact i was. I fear that i will get on a role, then become lazy again, never going past 200lbs.

citizencrp

I'm taking a behavioral analysis class and my professor made a really good point. We're scared of change because its different. In context of losing weight, we're afraid to look different because we may fear the worse. Its true. I have been big all my life and I don't know anything else besides my big self.

Also, every time that I have tried to lose weight I haven't lost anything more than 4 pounds. I'm scared. I had a dream not too long ago about myself: It was a year in to MFP and I was thin and beautiful and the scale still said 300. I've never lost a significant amount of weight.

To which my professor says we fear change and I conclude that I'm just plain out scared of something - I just don't know what.

I was JUST talking about the same thing this week. I've never let myself get below 225 as an adult--like it's a barrier. It wont be this time though.

I know I've been scared of being rejected and being thin...it's easier to blame rejection on my weight. That's been a big one for me.

StinkyWinkies

I was JUST talking about the same thing this week. I've never let myself get below 225 as an adult--like it's a barrier. It wont be this time though.

I know I've been scared of being rejected and being thin...it's easier to blame rejection on my weight. That's been a big one for me.

This resonates with me...I think this might be my fear as well, since I seem to be stuck and resisting losing the next 5 lbs.

bethygirlie

Yeah I'm with Mama2SethandO....I have this HORRIBLE fear of gaining weight back. It's bad. I dream about it, I think about it. But it sure is an appetite suppressant when I am faced with things that I shouldn't eat. I never had the problem of being scared of losing it, and I was heavy my whole life. In fact, I'm smaller now than I was in 7th-8th grade. I think I just wanted to lose it all this time but never had the pressure to do so. Once I ended up in a coma, everything changed. Just needed a swift kick in the buttocks to make me want to change.

wcasie

Fear of change and fear of failure are the 2 i struggle with. I struggle because part of my likes being fat because no one notices me. I get to hide in my fat. Trying to work on that lol

kdeaux1959

There is some validity to the fit but 300 lb dream... As you lift weights and gain muscle mass, you actually gain weight but lose inches... Now, 300 lb svelte woman is very unlikely since gaining muscle is harder for women than for men due to hormonal differences. That being said, several years ago, I weighed 170 lbs and wore a size 34 pant and size medium shirt... Today, after lifting weights and cardio for about 9 months, I weigh 235 lbs and am in a size.. you guessed it... 34 pant... I wear a large shirt now but it is because of my arms and shoulders more than my waist (though I know I have some distance to go on my fat loss journey... BTW, the "large shirt" is usually loose fitting on me.. but most appropriate for my size... Worry more about the inches and less about the number on the scale.. of all the numbers we look at with regard to fitness, that is the least important, standing alone...

purplepeonypanda

This will sound weird, but I'm afraid of be coming promiscuous.

I have a horrible body. I mean, even for an obese woman. I am all stomach no hips, asymmetrical breasts, scoliosis, and short lets. I look in mirror and am disgusted.

If by some miracle losing weight got me some male attention, I wouldn't know what to do. Guys have never shown interest in me. I don't know how to say no, or even if I'll want to.

rachellosesitall85

I understand what you are going through. Like someone else mentioned, I hide in my fat as well. I was a skinny kid, and I put on weight to hide myself. I was molested for years and felt that if I gained weight I wouldn't be so attractive to the opposite sex. It's a struggle, and I've learned that even as big as I am, I'm still attractive, just less appealing as I would be if I were thinner. I'm learning, and eventually I'll say "**** my fear, I deserve to have my life back" and I believe you should feel the same.

mgobluetx12

This will sound weird, but I'm afraid of be coming promiscuous.

I have a horrible body. I mean, even for an obese woman. I am all stomach no hips, asymmetrical breasts, scoliosis, and short lets. I look in mirror and am disgusted.

If by some miracle losing weight got me some male attention, I wouldn't know what to do. Guys have never shown interest in me. I don't know how to say no, or even if I'll want to.

That doesn't sound weird at all. I can totally relate and it's VERY valid!! Losing weight WILL get you male attention, but it's up to you to decide how to react to it. You are always in control of your own body, just keep that in mind.

mogletdeluxe

I think fear is quite a common emotion in terms of changes to the body. I'm petrified - I mean, out and out petrified - of being fat again. Returning back to being that unhappy, but also undoing the hardest work I've ever done.

Perhaps it's worth channeling that fear into something more productive? I was told I'd have XYZ medical ailments if I continued to gain weight. That fear spurred me into getting off my bum and losing a significant amount of weight.

Or even - playing devil's advocate here - try and be scared of something else; something associated with being larger. I don't quite know that could be done, or if it's even possible, but it might be worth trying to break that barrier.

If fear MUST exist, then turn it on its head and use it.

ferrytrip

I'm scared that losing weight won't make that much difference in the end - just a smaller me. Always been either "Broad" or "Big boned" all my life except in college.

Restybaby2012

I think we all fear the weight loss. We've been able to hide behind it for so long. We can blame it for everything..........even if we say we dont, we do. Its a forever ready excuse to do or not to do any number of things.

We fear the weight loss because what if...............what if we lose all the weight and achieve some magical weight and NOTHING CHANGES!!!!! OMG we'd be devastated and our ready made excuse would be gone. We struggle to lose it......and struggle to maintain it. Maintaining it means adjusting the core of our being without any of our all too common excuses. Standing naked before ourselves is much more difficult and has far reaching consequences compared to the embarrassment of standing naked before others.

ferrytrip

I think we all fear the weight loss. We've been able to hide behind it for so long. We can blame it for everything..........even if we say we dont, we do. Its a forever ready excuse to do or not to do any number of things.

We fear the weight loss because what if...............what if we lose all the weight and achieve some magical weight and NOTHING CHANGES!!!!! OMG we'd be devastated and our ready made excuse would be gone. We struggle to lose it......and struggle to maintain it. Maintaining it means adjusting the core of our being without any of our all too common excuses. Standing naked before ourselves is much more difficult and has far reaching consequences compared to the embarrassment of standing naked before others.

That truly sums it all up

MFPBrandy

Yup. I don't know what it is that I'm afraid of, but every time I hit my mid-term goal (a body that is acceptable to me long-term, but still has some strengthening & toning left to do), I start sugar binging. I don't deprive myself during my weight loss -- I eat chocolate, ice cream, whatever. But once my scale gets between 140-145 and my "almost skinny" clothes start fitting again, I eat a whole freaking pizza and/or bag of chocolate. It's ridiculous and maddening.
I've never been seriously overweight, so it's not like this is a whole new world for me. I also don't anticipate my life suddenly becoming magically better for losing weight -- I just want to be healthy, and fit into my clothes, and yes, look good, but as a single parent of one contemplating becoming a single parent of two, I'm not expecting a sudden rush of male attention.