name change after divorce...

SherryR1971
SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
in Chit-Chat
okay, getting ready to be divorced (again!!)...I have been married twice now, and I have two daughters with my first husband, none with the second...so I'm thinking I want to go back to my previous name...not my maiden name, but my first married name-so I would once again have the same last name as my girls...is that strange?

Replies

  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    How old are your girls? I don't think it's strange.

    When my parents got divorced my Mom kept my Dad's last name because she wanted the same last name as me and my sisters.

    I can see how you think it's strange though, going back to your first married name. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks.
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
    They are 17 and 10...thanks for the opinion!!! :)
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    It's you and the girls so having their last name is not weird at all.
  • VerucaSult
    VerucaSult Posts: 35 Member
    I kept mine after a 20 year marriage... had it longer than my maiden name. I wanted to keep it because my kids were still in school. I regret it now. My at home kids are 15 and 17 and they don't mind either way. My son wants me to change his at the same time. I'm changing mine back to mark my restart. My son can make that choice when he's older, I don't want him to regret it (or resent me) later. Do what's right for you.
  • jpe71
    jpe71 Posts: 50 Member
    Your 17 year-old is almost certainly old enough to be content with you having a different name; the 10 yo would probably appreciate the gesture still. I'm going by how I felt about this, and how my daughter reacted to this issue at these ages. I was getting ready to take my name back when she was 11, and she was willing to accept that. Then I met and married my current husband, and took his name. She's happy about that. When she was adopted by the new husband, she kept her name, at her choice. She's happy, I'm happy.
  • janbez
    janbez Posts: 37 Member
    I'm trying to do both. I use my former husband's name at work because I was with him for 27 years and the name is very unique as well as the only name I have been known by professionally. Personally, that's a different story. I have re-claimed my birth name. My daughters are a little older (24, 22 and 16) and don't care one way or the other. One has hyphenated her last name with her husbands - creating a last name with 28 letters! I feel for their kid who is soon to be born.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I think if you and your ex are on good terms, and it wouldn't be weird with him, you should do it.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Pick whatever feels right to you and do it - you will get lots of opinions whatever you choose to do!

    I stuck with my ex-husband's name after I divorced because I was well known in my professional field by that name and I didn't want to have to re-establish myself with a new name and have to explain to everyone that "no, I'm not recently married, I'm recently divorced".

    I did change my name when I married a second time - I'm working in a different field now and it didn't seem right to stick with a name that didn't "belong" to either me (as in my maiden name) or my new husband. But, that was my choice, and what was right for me.

    People questioned both these decisions, but I decided that it was no-one's business but my own!

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