Note to self: It's not just about the number on the scale.

mswillems

A month ago I committed to a 30 day challenge. Big deal, right? 30 days. For me it is. I usually try something for a week and if I don't see results I change to something else. I need to see results. I need to see that number on the scale go down. I have a lot of weight to lose and I have to know that the effort I am putting in is going to make a difference. I focus so much on the long term, big number goal, I tend to over look the little changes and accomplishments. I thought that by setting a short term goal, I might be happier with myself and gain the confidence I need to keep heading in the right direction.

At the beginning of the 30 days we were to weigh ourselves, take measurements, and count the number of sit ups and push ups we could do in 1 minute.

Today, was the end of the 30 day challenge. My goal for weight loss was 10 pounds for the month. I lost 5. Yes, that is right.... 5 fricken pounds in 30 days. I just wanted to quit. I have been on this up and down journey for 2 years now and am so frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, ashamed... I workout 6 - 7 days a week, 45 - 100 minutes a day, rarely go over my calorie count for the day, and only lose 5 pounds.

So, I completed 1/3 of the challenge requirements by weighing myself (so not happy with the result). Time to take measurements. Chest - down an 1.5 inches, waist - down 2 inches, hips - down 1.5 inches, thighs - down 1.5 inches... 6.5 inches lost! I am feeling a little bit better. I KNOW I stayed committed and have put in the sweat and tears. Even though it didn't show on the scale, it may have actually worked!

Last part of the challenge... the push ups and sit ups. Push ups - increased by 17! Sit ups - increased by 7 (yes, still some work to do in that department).

In losing (just) 5 pounds, I gained so much more. I made a committment and stuck with it, I am 6.5 inches smaller than I was 30 days ago, and I am stronger than I was 30 days ago. For as horrible as I felt after getting off the scale this morning, I am feeling pretty good right now.

I am going to start the day again, not with disappointment, but with a positive attitude and confidence. I am going to commit to another 30 day challenge. I will hope to lose more weight, but more importantly, I will continue on with the healthy habits and lifestyle changes that I have made. I guess this journey isn't so much about the destination, as it is about the things I learn and the changes I make along the way.

For the first time in a long time, I feel good about being me.... and the number on the scale has nothing to do with it.