Disappointed

heathermae1022
heathermae1022 Posts: 21
in Motivation and Support
So this is my 5th day on MFP and so far I have 19 friends and when I added those 19 ppl I thought they were going to help motivate me and only about 4 do. I mean is it to much to ask for a good job or wtg...I know some have a lot of friends and I probably get lost or some just don't like to post but I take my time to go through and comment on everyone. I guess I just need to delete those who don't help motivate me. I don't want to be he person on mfp with the most friends I just want the ones who are like me and need that help and motivation. Only my 5th day and have to start over just disappointing. Just wanting to vent thanks :smile:
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Replies

  • kel665
    kel665 Posts: 401 Member
    You can add me if you like. I have only been here a little over a week and have found some great supportive friends, but I have one in particular that seems to post a lot of stuff about herself and gets lots of support and encouragement but I have never seen a comment on my page from her. I will do a cull in a couple of weeks. Support is mutual, we are all here to help each other, it's give and take, not just take.
  • searolex
    searolex Posts: 35
    Add me, I need support too. Mega negative vibes from my partner.
  • srhargraves
    srhargraves Posts: 29
    You can also add me. I just joined 4 days ago and I only have one friend. I like you need the motivation. So we can help each other. Losing weight is hard to do so we need all the help we can get. :happy:
  • Sick_Beard
    Sick_Beard Posts: 407 Member
    Different time zones is a b!tch when it comes to motivating others, most of them are either asleep or have posted 4-6 hours ago. I try my best to reach out to everyone.
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
    Just keep going, you find a nice little group eventually. :)
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    I think the 'good job's and 'wtg's every day are a little insincere, so I forego those and try to be there when people need it most - when they're ready to give up or when they need help. Maybe some of your friends are the same?
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    What happens when our friends lists get to around a hundred for example? No way you can be there for everyone. I think I'll set a lowish limit to how many I have.
  • heathermae1022
    heathermae1022 Posts: 21
    Thanks everyone I really appreciate your comments makes me feel alittle bit better
  • BamsieEkhaya
    BamsieEkhaya Posts: 657 Member
    feel free to add..I do say aww thats really good ! :) but timezones could be interesting, don't know where you're at x
  • Embooya
    Embooya Posts: 222 Member
    When the junk food and the sofa are screaming your name, fight back and refuse to lose !
  • willtry08
    willtry08 Posts: 74 Member
    Don't be dissapointed, you'll find the right people! Add me if you like, I'm new too. Enjoy your Saturday :)
  • tialynn1
    tialynn1 Posts: 884 Member
    I have been on this website since January 5th. There are times I go through and delete people, if they haven't been on here for a long time or I don't remember them giving support, I delete them. I do try to give some leeway because of time zone differences.
    I usually have about 50-60 people. There are some people I communicate more regularly with, and then some I just comment on. Just like friendships outside of cyberworld, you have friends that are very good friends and then there are some you consider friends, but not necessarily close friends.
  • mrramsey
    mrramsey Posts: 49
    Disappointment happens it is a part of life. It is how you react to it that will guarantee your success.

    "Fall down 7 times - Get up 8"

    Feel free to add if you like... or anyone for that matter.
  • katie070563
    katie070563 Posts: 246
    I know what you mean about the value of support....you are welcome to add me too.
    Look forward to hearing from you
    best wishes
    Katie
  • TexasTroy
    TexasTroy Posts: 477 Member
    Hiya:) Im on every day and would love to help motivate you and expect nothing but the same:) We can all use that lil bit of extra support. Add me add me....ANYONE:)
  • jiannette
    jiannette Posts: 12
    Don't be disappointed....there are tons of very supportive people on here....add me and I will be one of them!
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
    I dont give out "wtg" or "good job". Like....ever. however, i kick major *kitten* when you lag and i check in if i havent heard from you. im not a handholder, ill drag you or push you though :)
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    well, you kind of have to "interview" folks. Maybe they don't have the same goals as you? Are you looking for weight loss cheers, fitness cheers, or both?

    I'm one of those that will not resort to saying "nice burn" or "way to go" for a routine workout, or say you ate a nice meal. If you talk on your board or post an engaging status, I will talk back.

    Those are things you have to decide when friending people. IMO
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
    You can add me if you like. I always look through diaries. I don't ALWAYS comment, but I try to.
    I could also use the added support.

    I'm always open to new friends
  • vjrose
    vjrose Posts: 809 Member
    Well checking your diary some folks may hesitate to comment since you are burning tons of calories and eating under 1200 gross and likely like 500-600 net, so not so good. If you were my friend I would be sending you pm's to find out why you are running so low on calories, perhaps it is a short term goal or something? I like to know why folks are starving themselves. Many of us have been here awhile and believe in a sustainable approach to eating over the long term. Good luck and I am sure you can find plenty of like minded, just eat a bit folks, I know they are out there :flowerforyou:
  • cmVT208
    cmVT208 Posts: 19
    Feel free to add me. I try to motivate friends but also do not comment on every post they make. I usually pick 5-10 friend each day to reply to & then rotate to other friends the following day! Some people do not motivate at all. Sometimes it takes you to reach out first...they will then return the favor! Keep at it & don't give up. Eventually you will find a good group!
  • HerBravado
    HerBravado Posts: 392 Member
    I feel the same way--I add people for motivation & when I don't get it as consistently as I give it, I want to just--

    deletedeletedelete. lmao. But I don't have the heart to.

    :) Any & all who want encouragement + can give it in return, feel free to add me!~
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    So this is my 5th day on MFP and so far I have 19 friends and when I added those 19 ppl I thought they were going to help motivate me and only about 4 do. I mean is it to much to ask for a good job or wtg...I know some have a lot of friends and I probably get lost or some just don't like to post but I take my time to go through and comment on everyone. I guess I just need to delete those who don't help motivate me. I don't want to be he person on mfp with the most friends I just want the ones who are like me and need that help and motivation. Only my 5th day and have to start over just disappointing. Just wanting to vent thanks :smile:

    I get a lot of friend requests and it's grown. But I'm glad no one expects me to perform. Some days it's all I can do to login and log my calories. Other days I have time to float through and encourage people but no way can I respond to everyone. They encourage me when they can and I do the same when I can. We all do our best. We all get busy sometimes. It's great to have support and I'm all for it, but also at some point you need to be your own motivation, from within yourself, that is where the true power comes from. There will be times when no one is around and you have to do it for yourself.
  • sh4690
    sh4690 Posts: 169 Member
    Everyone loves a little bit of motivation!! :D

    x
  • Wagman63
    Wagman63 Posts: 2 Member
    "tons of people here"... no pun intended.:tongue:
  • NautiLife
    NautiLife Posts: 22
    It's only day 5 and there's a lot of people to meet before you find your support base. It's like starting your first day of school, you have to meet all of the personalities before you make your connection. Just make sure you use the support you get from others as a tool to help you succeed and not make it a necessity. It's important to find your inner strength and use the positive energy of others to reinforce your initiative. Everyone on here is looking to lose weight, gain muscle, or find a way to better themselves and all have their own struggles to overcome and need support however if we were to rely too much on the attaboys it will cause set backs on our progress making it way to easy to give up if the attaboys didn't come in fast enough
  • hello50s
    hello50s Posts: 21
    I find that I have added friends in the past and then got too many so i couldn't keep track of everyone's posts. I found that a bit overwhelming and I found that I could not keep up with posting and I think I got lost on their wall as well as I stopped getting a comments as well. Life gets busy and if you are not on a lot, or just to add your food and then at the beg/end of day, it can be hard to keep track of what happened during the day. If there was a "like" button it would make it a lot easier as at least you could just press a button to let someone know you saw their post, if nothing else.

    I think you might want to consider adding friends slowly. Get to know them and give support to each other. If you and the new friend are communicating in a way that works for both of you, then add another. This way you get to know the times they log in or are online and can make sure that you are helping each other.

    I only have one friend right now, that I know personally. I find that I could use a few more, but that's all I have time for.

    Anyways, that's my two cents.
  • QueenofScott
    QueenofScott Posts: 305 Member
    So sorry you are discouraged, Heather:( Maybe it just takes time for people to "get to know you". Don't let it keep you down! You have started towards a goal that is good or you, and you can reach it! Feel free to add me as a friend if you like:) my name is Tracy. I'm 49, and have another 50-54 lbs to lose. I am doing South Beach, and I log my food and exercise here everyday (since I found it 3 weeks ago. I started my lifestyle change on August20). Hope you have a wonderful and successful weekend:)
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
    Everyone likes a pat on the back at times, not all of us have the time during our hectic schedules to wtg, good job every time someone on our friends list stays below calories or does some exercise. I only post on the times someone actually asks for help or posts an NSV that is important to them. I don't expect anyone to GET me to my goals by holding my hand, telling me good job for staying within my calories and exercising everyday. When I post an important milestone for me, my friends are there to congratulate me, likewise if I am down they always let me know today is not the end of the world, there is always tomorrow. I treat them with the same respect. If you are looking for a massive number of daily pats on the back, add more friends.
  • tasha_24
    tasha_24 Posts: 19
    Personally I dont like to write on everyones status because a well done or way to go isnt always sincere, horrible but true, But if someone on my friends list is down or needs motivation ill help, just not on every tiny status, theres not enough hours in the day

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