Why is it the more weight I lose the fatter I feel?

helyg

I have lost 2 stone (210lbs to 181lbs) and gone down 2 dress sizes (UK20 to UK16). But I feel more self conscious now about how I look than when I started :frown:

I know I still have a lot of weight to lose - ideally I want to lose another 2 stone - but shouldn't I be feeling more positive about the weight I have lost?

MrsSWW

A friend and I have had a similar conversation (I've lost approx 3 stone, size 16-18 to size 12-14). My theory is that when I was bigger I just felt like a blob, an entire sphere of blob-dom. Now I've lost some weight I have a defined waist, collar bones, shapely shoulders... but still have the blobby bits. BitS. Instead of one blobby BIT I have blobby BITS!! More numerous than before. Where I hated the one body I now hate numerous parts of the body :grumble:

That's my theory anyway :drinker:

AmberJo1984

I don't have this problem... at least not yet. I've lost 36 pounds total (in over a year) -- 12 pounds in a month. It's a good amount... but, still so much more left. Right now, I love the compliments I'm already getting... but, I still can't stand to look in the mirror.

Overboard_Eater

I found the same thing happened to me. I contribute it to honestly looking at my body more. I never truly saw how big I had gotten. There weren't a specific area as much as a fat suit over my entire body. As that fat melted away certain areas lost more than others. I could finally really see how much weight I had padded my frame with and it made me even more critical. Taking pictures and looking at your progress will help fight these feelings. Focus on the journey and not the layovers. Good luck!

Ashleighkitty

I'm the same. I've lost 3 stone now, but I feel bigger than ever. I know I can't be, but I feel like everyone is looking at me..and like I'm such a blob still. I still have a way to go..I'm just hoping I stop feeling like this soon and actually see my weight loss because in the mirror, I swear I still look the same x

pinkgumdrop123

I felt the same way yesterday when I wore a new smaller pair of jeans. Everyone told me that they looked great but I felt so uncomfortable in them.

bokodasu

Dunno, but I was thinking the same thing the other day, and I've lost just a little more than you have so far. The best I could figure out is that I used to totally avoid mirrors - we don't have any in the house, except the medicine cabinet - and when I did see myself, it was just, "oh, there's me." And now I actually pay attention to what's in the mirror, and instead of "yup, there I am," it's "ugh, look at that belly fat" or "gosh those arms are wobbly".

Which, yeah, is counterproductive. Try putting on old pants, that always cheers me up. :flowerforyou:

tidesong

I feel the same way. I started (this time) at 235 lbs. I am down to 189 lbs now, and I still feel like a fat blob. I am more self-conscious of how I look, even though I'm dropping sizes like crazy, getting compliments all the time, etc. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I think part of it for me is the flabby skin thing, despite losing the weight, I fear that's always going to be there. Overall in my journey, I'm down about 85 pounds, and sometimes I still feel as fat as I was when I started back then. It's frustrating, and depressing. I look into the mirror, and I honestly cannot see a difference. I see the difference a bit in pictures, but when I look into the mirror, I still am as disgusted looking at myself as I was at my highest weight.

ETA: I did something today to help reassure myself, and it actually helped a little. I keep track of measurements as well as weight. I pulled out the tape measure, and set it to where my waist was when I started at 235, and put it around my waist. Huge gap. Then I did the same thing for my hips. It helped remind me that yes, there's been progress....

(Always looking for new MFP contacts...if you ever need to/want to vent, I'm here.)

kristen6022

The smaller you get, the pickier you get about what parts look like. At my largest I accepted that my butt was huge, my tummy needed work and everything was fatter than it should. But when I lost the 40+ pounds I felt that things should be smaller and tighter, even though they weren't. It's like the sayings "I wish I was a fat as I was when I thought I was fat". When you are thinner, you think you are fat. But when you are actually overweight you just accept it. Our brains are wired oddly!

Celeigh12

I think it takes a good deal of mentally checking out to gain a significant amount of weight. It's a total disconnect with reality or else we'd have stopped it before it got so out of hand. So now you are paying attention and you are feeling the emotions attached to being fat that you weren't facing before when you were at your highest weight. You are aware of your body in a way you weren't when you gained. Awareness is good, even if you are uncomfortable with what you see. Use those feelings to get you to your goal.

yallcallmedeb

I find that I am flabbier now. I'm sure that it's related to my age (47) but the skin isn't tightening up enough. So, while, I don't have any wrinkled skin, I have a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly when I jump. I know that the skin will tighten eventually, so I'm just trying to be patient. My clothes fit so much better and I've gone down several sizes in clothes. Overall, I'm happy with my weight loss.

lgreen37

The mind needs to shed negative weight too! LOL!!! Seriously - I had found myself loosing the weight - but not seeing it. I saw myself still fat when in all actuality I'm not. A friend asked me, "Have you ever been fat?" Honey I looked at her like she was crazy and wanted to say, "Heck I still am!" But I took it in stride. As I continue to loose the weight I am having to change the way I see myself. Yes it can be hard - but it can and WILL be done! And you WILL do it and notice YOURSELF that you have. Keep up the great work

skinnybitchbarbie27

I think the reason we are all suffering through this is we knew there was a problem before, however, having self pride (like I WAS BORN THIS WAY AND I AM PERFECT) kept us sane. I mean I believe we all felt down and still do, but we have had to strip away everything we thought about ourselves, admit there was a problem and we were flawed, and fight to fix it. I still look in the mirror and see a fat Piece of s**t on some days and on others I see a hot stranger in front of me. Mine comes from not having that self pride I had when I was 330 pounds. I had a hard shell at 330, F- people who called me fat. I was a BBW MODEL. I modeled half naked in lingerie. But you couldn't pay me to do that now. I feel flawed now and until I know I have fixed it I feel like I am not perfect and no one will love me until I am.

Boom... Lost weight and lost my confidence.

shorty35565

I've went from 185 to 123 & I feel fatter now than I ever have Idk why it's like tht. It's a disappointing feeling. I haven't got an answer, but I can tell u that ur not alone.

zenchild

You're paying more attention to your weight now than you were. You're focusing more on how far you still have to go than how far you've already come. Keep going, I noticed a change in my mind-set around the halfway point.

mshiesha

Think about losing the weight in a positive way. You will be healthier and this something you are doing for yourself

30theFASTway

It could be 2 reasons. Usually before we start to lose weight, we're not as aware and honest about our bodies. It's an unpleasant reality and we avoid it. When you start to lose weight, you're in the process of honestly confronting your body and you're taking more notice of it. Thus, you become more self-conscious because you're more conscious of self.

The second possibility that happens with me is that when I'm losing weight, my mind just races ahead of me. In my mind, I'm already at goal even though my body is 30 pounds away, lol. So when I walk my skinny little booty in front of the mirror and I don't see that skinny little image that's in my mind, it's the same old me, just a few pounds smaller... it upsets me!

Angie_1991

Somedays I still feel like a fat blob...others I'm sexy and I know it!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

MsKeelah919

Celieigh, I LOVE your response. How wonderfully insightful.

super_monty

I have lost 2 stone (210lbs to 181lbs) and gone down 2 dress sizes (UK20 to UK16). But I feel more self conscious now about how I look than when I started :frown:

I know I still have a lot of weight to lose - ideally I want to lose another 2 stone - but shouldn't I be feeling more positive about the weight I have lost?

Because you have started to CARE now and no longer living in DENAIL about being obese? Use it as motivation and keep going until you hit that sweet spot then you will feel great and remain self conscious to help maintenance.


I went through that feeling



Great job by the way, well done.

jgalauskas

Thank you for posting this. I was starting to think I was the only one who felt this way!

lruff1987

I dealt with the saaaame issue. I think when I started losing weight, I became aware of who I was and who I had been. When I was heavy, I knew I was heavy, and I lived a life that contributed to me being heavy. But when I stopped living that life, and started living the life of a healthy person, I wasn't yet a healthy person, I was still a heavy person. I don't know if that makes sense to other people or not, but it made sense to me. Once I started working on loving who I was on the inside, then I started to feel less self conscious and more happy with who I saw in the mirror.

newcs

I had 25-30lbs to lose, some of which I lost before MFP. For me, I just didn't look too closely at myself when I knew I was overweight but once I started doing something about it, I started to look closer. The closer you look, the more faults you find. I just focused on the positive improvements and noted the others as works in progress. Now I'm skinny-fat and working on fitness to take care of that

christinehetz80

This completely happened to me...I think in part it had to do with my clothes not fitting well....I also think it has to do with like said previously honestly looking at my body. When I was heavier I still dressed well and took a lot of care with hair and makeup....during the weight loss phase I kinda was so focused on just losing weight that I didn't take as much time with hair, makeup, and clothes.....I have changed that now that I'm closer to my goal weight and it feels fantastic....shopping....that really helped...getting to pull things off the rack and it fit and look good did wonders. Vintage shopping was even better...I went from not being able to find any vintage clothes at all to being able to finally get some of those coveted items. Give yourself time..and be kind and patient with yourself it is a journey of spirit and mind as well as body.

barney50501Missy

It's great to hear that it's not just me . I've lost 55 lbs and I know there's a difference because I've gone down to a size 10 from a size 18-20, BUT, i don't see it in the mirror. It can be so frustrating! Just yesterday I looked at myself and was disgusted with how I look. How could I lose all that weight and still feel so fat? I actually feel fatter than when I was at 225. At least then I was in denial...haha. It has to get better, right?

korsicash

I am far more judgmental of my size 8 bum and waist than I ever was of my size 16 bum and waist. No idea why.

helyg

Thanks everyone, it definitely helps to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way!

I think the comments I get from others don't help either. Although my husband and friends are very supportive and make positive comments about the way I look, I get a lot of negativity from my work colleagues (who I obviously spend a lot of time with!). I work with 4 other women and I think their own weight battles have an effect on how they treat others. One is also losing weight (with weight watchers) and is very competitive about it - constantly asking me how much I've lost this week so she can compare or criticising the way I am doing things. Another is in denial about her own weight and sits there stuffing her face with junk and takes the mickey if you won't join her. Another is quite catty about people losing weight and makes comments like "Well if you have SUPPOSEDLY lost 2 stone..." as though she can't see any difference at all. Luckily the 4th colleague isn't as bad, but she just tends to keep quiet.

I think I need to surround myself with more positivity!

alliegeorge

I think maybe that because when you were bigger you didn't particularly care what you looked like; but now that you are losing weight you are paying attention to what you see in the mirror..

californiagirl2012

I have lost 2 stone (210lbs to 181lbs) and gone down 2 dress sizes (UK20 to UK16). But I feel more self conscious now about how I look than when I started :frown:

I know I still have a lot of weight to lose - ideally I want to lose another 2 stone - but shouldn't I be feeling more positive about the weight I have lost?

I used to be obese and I felt fat. And believe it or not even at 11% body fat now I still feel fat sometimes, when I'm bloated with carbs and sodium usually. Women especially are hard on themselves. I had to finally accept the fact that what I think is a big tummy is really my internal organs. It is the silliest thing ever. When I say "I feel fat" now because my size 2-4 jeans feel tight my husband looks at me like I'm from outer space. LOL As he should because it's absolutely the silliest thing ever.

GreyEyes21

if you are looking flabby it may be because you arent doing any weight lifting so you are losing your muscle mass. Muscle goes away quickly when you try to lose weight. doing light lifting helps keep it and tones your skin to go back to normal.

cutie_patootie

I think it's because while the body might have lost weight, the mind hasn't. It takes a lot of time for the weight loss to register in the mind. Taking frequent body shots could help since the evidence of weight loss is right in front of you.