Mental Blocks

cathomer

I really want to do this, I know I can do it, I just keep meeting these mental blocks. As soon as I try and make an effort something will come up, like today I was going to really try again, but the kids had me up and down from 5am, so I'm shattered and cranky even before the day has really begun. Thinking about dieting now is just leaving me feeling really angry, as really food is the only thing I've got to take my mind off stuff and help with the stress, like smoking I guess, or drinking. I need another strategy for dealing with stuff but I don't know what, no time to just go take a bath, friends are usually busy, no time to pamper myself, family don't live near me, it sucks, food is all I have when I feel so alone.

I feel almost like I'm being tested, or like there's something that doesn't want me to succeed, some kind of negative force, which sounds daft, but it's really starting to feel like that. Maybe it's just me, maybe part of me wants to hang on to being fat because it's safe, I've never been slim, so I don't know what it's like, I think I've got a lot of expectations of me once I lose weight and maybe I don't feel I can live up to them.

dcarol92

Sorry to hear about the struggles! If it sounds like food is a main source of what you have when you're alone, try to make something interesting. While (insert name of unhealthy [im Assuming] food here) may taste good, these foods for me at least usually leave me tired and unmotivated after a heavy dose of them. Try, At the start, to mix in some salads before a burger or whatever. Maybe have some fruit with water before you grab a bowl of ice cream. Don't underestimate the deliciousness of introducing new and exciting fruits into your life. Make the easy changes first. Success is built on doing a lot of the small things right. Try not to overwhelm yourself at first. Everyone on here has felt lost in their weight loss, its all about sticking with it!

GreyEyes21

dont think of it as a diet. I know it can be hard to give up your "comfort foods" but look through your pantry and get rid of the bad things, give them to a friend or throw them away. replace them with things you enjoy but are healthier, then when you go to eat food you only have healthy things you enjoy to eat. eventually you can add "bad things" back but with control. I swaped out lots of chocolate for mini bite sized chocolate. its only 39 cal per heath bar. I only eat one-two a day. I eat peanut butter too. I eliminated my meats completely and replaced them with eggs and protein shakes. I enjoy hummus so I buy 3 at a time. just replace bad foods and eat your calorie goal. (which should not be a diet but a normal amount of food intake) Thinking of it as a diet is a "negative" way of thinking about it.

a diet ends.
a life style is forever

I hope that helped

Pebble321

It sounds as though your life is pretty full-on, so I suggest being kind to yourself.

Don't feel that the only possible goal is "lose x kg" - why not set some small, more achievable goals and let the healthy habits build up gradually.

So, instead of "from today I'm dieting, no more chocolate, no more treats, no more snacks between meals, no more soft drinks.... etc" try something like:

- this week I'm going to eat a healthy breakfast every day
- next week I'm going to exercise for 10 mins, 3x a day.
- the next week I'm going to do something active with the kids every day (wear them out!).
- then I'm going to add in a healthy morning snack
etc.
If you can take on one healthy habit a week, in a few months you'll be amazed at the changes you've made.

EvgeniZyntx

Hun, I have 4 daughters, I slept <5 hrs total last night as several days a week, I'm a single parent. There are weeks where I work 500 Km's away from my girls. I think understand some of the time suck you must be having. Looks like part of it is social - look at the local meetup.com or gym classes to meet people (or group rides from the local bike shop) and do fitness activities at the same time.
The rest is priorities. Here, the house often looks like Warsaw, 1938. That is ok, I'm busy with me, the girls and life.

Kaiukas

I agree with the previous poster. Don't think of this as a diet. Think of this as a lifestyle change; a way of honouring and nurturing your body; a way of taking better care of it because you and your family deserves a healthy happy you! It is a manifestation of love for yourself and your family if you like. And think of a gift you are giving your children if they have a fit and healthy and happy Mum :-)

Take some time to remove the negative connotations around all this. Write down what you hope and fear and really reflect on that. Replace the negatives with the positives. Replace food as your crutch with something healthy, for example light exercise that you can do at home, talking to a friend, writing a journal or a pampering yourself. I realise it is a bit more challenging when you have small children, but with a bit of creativity you can come up with things that are right for you.

I am a big believer that this journey is much more successful long term when you are mentally and emotionally ready for it.

As for the expectations for slim people and living up to those, well, let me tell you, these expectations are no different than those for the overweight. We are all humans and we are in it together. You are not different species just because you happen to be overweight. We all want to be loved and happy, it is really that simple :flowerforyou:

Sending you hugs and a lot of encouragement!!!

cathomer

Thanks guys, I think I'll have a go at setting some smaller goals, I just get so impatient and think I have to be perfect at it from now, else I feel I've failed.
I just need to get my head in order, realise that food isn't going to help me achieve anything, and suck it up.
I feel a bit better, I've just got in from dropping my daughter off at nursery, I had to lie on top of her to get her tights on, stressful morning. Normally I'd make myself a milky, sugary tea and have some biscuits, but I'm not, I'm going to try and do something useful in a minute, make some soup maybe for lunches.

I never used to think I did this, but I think I actually worry about being hungry, like how will I cope if I haven't got any food to hand. I notice this at work, when I'm there for 10 hours, if I don't think I've taken enough food I start to panic a little at how I'm going to manage.

tpow1196

As many others have said, remebering that I'm not on a diet helps me cope with the fear of being hungry, going over my calories and anything else that gets stuck in my head.

I'm not perfect everyday all day on anything else in my life, I'm not going to get this right every day either.

One thing that has helped me a great deal is Yoga. I am able to take a class as my children are older. But even on the days when I can't get out I will do some of the breathing. Focusing on my body and all the positive changes. I find this helps with my stress level, makes me feel more in touch with my body and calms my mind.

Try a DVD if you can't make it out ot class, a youtube video or something. Even if you only do 10 minutes before bed, it will help!

Good luck!

Kaiukas

Can I share something with you that my friend who has always been overweight told me the other day, maybe it will help you or somebody else.

My friend, like you has small children and is really struggling. I think there was part of her that was stuck in the anger and feeling of unfairness of 'oh my god, this is my life, I shall have to watch for the rest of my life'.

And suddenly she had an aha moment 'But this is what slender people all do their whole life'. There is no unfairness in it whatsoever. For her this realisation helped get rid of some mental blocks.

Hope it helps. :flowerforyou:

smantha32

A lot of us over eat in order to not deal with some of the stressful emotional things in our lives. Unfortunately those things tend to come up in force when we're no longer using food as a crutch. Recognizing when you're in one of those situations can help a lot to change it.
Hang in there!