Sabotaging myself

LittleFootHafner

Sounds pretty normal behaviour for myself as well... I have only been back for a week or two now since my months on being "on and off again". Try new things to keep yourself motivated. Put up a photo of you at your largest (what you never want to become agian), or you at your smallest (what you are trying to become again) - whichever one is more motivating to you! Put up a list of motivational quotes (send me a message if you want my list). Write down some goals and rewards so you always have something to look forward to (new shoes at 5 lbs lost, spa day, new outfit, etc...) It's a mind set, and we all have our own ways of getting in and out of one, so it's difficult to help... Just keep trying things until it helps! Buy a cute/sexy outfit that is 1 size too small, and then look at it every time you want to eat something bad. Make new rules for yourself (1 treat/week, no pop/alcohol until you have had 8 glasses of water already that day, etc...) Find tricks/substitutes to help you get away from the cravings... I make tacos in lettuce instead of wraps, make your own pita pizzas with less cheese, etc... Most importantly for myself - find foods that are good for you, and you enjoy! I love the 0% fat flavoured greek yogurts! Sometimes I add all bran buds.... I enjoy devilled eggs, so I make them and have veggies and wheat crakers for lunch with it. I make chicken broccoli (similar to a chinese restaurant), and LOVE it - and it's less than 300 calories! Just keep searching, and you WILL find what works for yourself! Force yourself to burn off any extra calories that you ate that day before bed. You will be so tired, that you will probably eat less! haha If you are having a REALLY rough day, allow yourself to eat your maintenance calories. At least you won't feel as bad if you just stay the same instead of gaining...

GOOD LUCK!

ubermensch13

Look, I'm not a Dr(or at least THAT type of Dr) so I can't nor won't diagnose you, however, you do need to understand there aren't any magic words to be spoken to give you motivation to WANT to do this. YOU have to just do it. You either do, or you don't. It really is that simple. What helps is to look at this as a marathon, not a sprint, ignore your scale, don't beat yourself up after every slip up and just keep at it.

djsupreme6

I am in the exact same boat! back on track today, but had a bad week!! I don't know why I do it though!!!

made me happy to read this...you got this

kjericks6401

I have this exact same problem. I also struggle with some OCD-type behaviors and anxiety, and it is difficult to learn coping strategies that don't involve food or self-medicating. Right now I find that I am most successful if I plan my food in advance each day, with "rewards" built in. For example, once a week I get to go out for fast food. I know what day it is going happen, so I can plan for it without going over my goal and feeling disappointed in myself. I know using food to reward myself is not ideal, but planning little splurges into my week seems to reduce the need to have a major binge. Also, if I plan in some "naughty" foods, I don't feel as deprived. As I get close to my goal, I am working on slowly changing behaviors (more vegetables, less frozen pizza) to get used to a healthier lifestyle.

The other thing is what someone else mentioned--try to recognize your triggers and when you realize one has occurred, reach out to someone to distract yourself. For me, not meeting some other goal (even a minor one, like realizing I forget to send someone a birthday card or having a basket of unfolded laundry sitting on the couch when a friend stops over on laundry day) can trigger a feeling of inadequacy, which leads to a disastrous binge (5-6,000 calories) that can undo weeks of 500 calorie deficits. The binge then makes me feel like even more of a failure, so it doesn't matter if I stick to my diet.

I have abandoned many diets that way in the past. However, this time I really believe that if I follow the plan, it will work. I also believe that I can stick to the plan. When I feel a trigger, I reach out to my family or friends for support. It really helps that several family members and friends have joined to support me--that alone reminds me people love me whether I’m perfect or not and want me to be healthy. If I do go over my calories, which does happen about once a week, I tell myself "you do not have to be perfect. It is OK to fall short of your goal once in a while." Then I forgive myself for failing and start over. If possible, I try to exercise my extra calories away, and if not, then I just tell myself "today you were not perfect. But you have a clean slate again tomorrow and you can do better."

Please do not give up. There may be some unresolved issues that are making you sabotage yourself, but in the end you have to decide that you do not have to be perfect and you deserve to be happy anyways, even if you sometimes screw things up. The fact that you are trying to figure out why your behaviors happen is the first step towards understanding and resolving them. If you feel like you need to seek professional help I would encourage you to do so, but I think the feelings you describe are pretty typical experiences for people who are struggling to change life-long behaviors and not evidence that you have a psychological problem. Change is hard, but you are worth it!

themedalist

Look, I'm not a Dr(or at least THAT type of Dr) so I can't nor won't diagnose you, however, you do need to understand there aren't any magic words to be spoken to give you motivation to WANT to do this. YOU have to just do it. You either do, or you don't. It really is that simple. What helps is to look at this as a marathon, not a sprint, ignore your scale, don't beat yourself up after every slip up and just keep at it.

^^^THIS!

One of my favorite MFP quotes: "Every choice you make about how you will move your body and what you will put in your body will either get you one step closer to good health or one step further away."

swagner73

Thank you to you and the responder right before you. Not that I don't appreciate the other comments, I do, but we all had issues that either lead to the weight gain or the inability to lose it easily. That's why we're here. To say that my issues are psychological but yours (or whom evers) are not, seems a bit, well wrong. But I do acknowledge I too have some OCD and that same "touch" of ADHD. I was taking Adderall for awhile but got off of it and use herbal supplements to try and cope since my case was mild. But I've had these issues long before, or after, the meds. As for what my triggers are, I think it's changed as life has, but there's always something (again- true for most everyone) that's a trigger. Maybe at first it was all the college (11 years and 3 degress to be exact!) or now it's having a family or a business that are both inevitably imperfect. The goal though is to find a mechanism other than food to cope with the stress of whatever maybe happening. The sabotaging tends to only happen after I've blown the diet and am damn disappointed in myself for having done so. I like the idea of keeping that photo nearby as a reminder to get back on the wagon, even if I've fallen off. Trying to keep the image mentally sometimes becomes difficult when images of tasty cupcakes or special edition fall hard cider beer is dancing through my head! Lol

Feel free to send me a friend request if you would like. I know my issues are due to my parents divorce -- which was HORRIBLE & I was only 7. The VERY LAST words my dad said to me before he walked out of the house & didn't come home until telling me that he & mom were divorcing were at the dinner table & he yelled at me for chewing with my mouth open. That's when it started. I was almost 30 years old & had my own children before I finally came to terms with the fact that their divorce was NOT my fault. Sad, isn't it? What we do to ourselves & how we continue to beat ourselves up over things out of our control. After my daughter was born, I went an entire month without a bite to eat because I couldn't cope with postpartum depression & it was causing problems in my marriage. If a psychologist ever got hold of me & all my issues, I'd be an entire case study relating to food & emotions. Like another poster mentioned, write EVERYTHING down. That's what I have started doing this time around & it really is an eye opener. I log it in on my food & exercise journals for the day so I can try to see how things correlate. At the end of my first month, I printed it out, had someone look through it with me so there would be an objective eye there and not my own critical eye. It really helped to see why I was making some of the bad choices I made over the last month.

tocara

Yesterday was the the first day that I truely recognized that I am an emotional eater and did not give into my emotional hunger. Eating will not make my problems go away, or relieve my stress in the long term.

When i was in a good frame of mind, I set out my action plan for what i was going to do when I would have an attack of emotional hunger (which, for me... is wayyyyyyy stronger of a sensation then being truely hungry)...

this website helps put things in perspective a bit too (i have not done the program)- mobile friendly too
http://www.pockethungercoach.com

i agree with lots of others that this is a journey and there is no one thing that works for everyone (lol, or else none of us would have issues)... but being honest with yourself, fessing up to yourself, appologizing to yourself and having a plan could perhaps do wonders.

doubleduofa

I have done this over and over and it is terrible for me. I have been trying to find a healthy relationship with food, find things that fill me up AND satisfy me (not always easy), and learning to forgive myself for my "sins" (i.e. chocolate, ice cream, etc). I am trying to learn how to eat to live. I'm trying not to be so concerned about losing the weight fast (this one is tough!), but learning new habits. I've been maintaining for 6-7 months and that is amazing! I've never done that before...it was always a cycle! Yes, I'd love to lose, but I'm truly focusing on health and being able to maintain healthy habits. I'm changing the way I think about food and how I eat - finding what works for my body. I am not cutting out entire food groups, just limiting. It is a miracle (to me) that I'm able to do this because I never thought I could. I'm proud of myself. Positive thinking and not punishing yourself goes a long way. Would you treat a friend the way you treat yourself (probably not), so I try to encourage myself the way I would a friend. It works...I respond much better to positivity... :-)

fitsin10

bump, lots of good info here.....thanks for me too!

SabrinaLily

For all of you WONDERFUL people that have replied, I don't know if you'll ever visit this thread again to read my post here, but I want to thank you all SOOO much. I wish I could click "like" on each one of your posts. When I need to, I go back and read all of your supportive comments and suggestions. Thanks for taking the time out for me. MFP is such a wonderful community and has been great in helping me keep a positive attitude. I noticed that I tend to fall off the wagon every Sunday but pick back up again Monday. Yeah, I may lose 3 pounds and then gain 1-2 back BUT, if I keep picking myself back up, I'm still losing weight, even if it is a very slow process. That's what I keep telling myself- I still weight less than I started out as, no matter whether it's 2 pounds or 20 pounds less. No matter what, I'll always be lighter than what I was, so chin up! Thanks friends ))))

ceajules

add me

I also have a motivating group on fb

http://www.facebook.com/groups/withering/

cre8ive1010

Add me and ceajules I can relate... I'm in recovery. I sent you an add too. You don't need a psychologist, just good support. I'm here for you baby girl.

marz42

I think even if what you are doing is well within the range of "normal" for people trying to loose weight, it still can't hurt to talk to a therapist if you are in a position to do so. I know it's helped for me...just to have someone help me figure out why I eat too much or avoid exercise, and my whole relationship with the thing.

waxingwaning

Bump