Fat and happy, now I want to be skinny and happy!

amcox01

Hello!

I've never been what you would call "skinny scrawny". I'm 5'4 with what I consider an athletic build (did a lot of ROTC type things in high school). I worked a lot of restaurants through high school and college so I got a lot of my exercise running around getting people drink re-fills, more of this and that, and GOD forbid their bread basket go empty! So I met and found my husband at a restaurant: he was a cook, I was a server.

We got married last October and it was amazing! I seriously cannot understand how I could meet and marry such an awesome person! Everything seemd to be working our great because shortly after I was offered a job at The University of Alabama, where I received my degree (yes I was a server after college, these are hard times and I majored in PR during a recession, dur me!). So my husband got to go back to school there with my benefits and is finishing his degree in MIS (he's a super smart nerdy type and I love him!). ALAS! I got freakin' fat! We celebrated our 1 year anniversary on October 1st and I have gained 20lbs since our wedding! I have what is commonly refered to as "secretary *kitten*". I'm no longer running around a restaurant, I'm at a desk ALL DAY! Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but when my routine changed my eating and exercise habits (which were not good or non existent) did not.

My husband has been nothing but supportive. He never talks about my weight even though I obsess about it. He still hugs and loves on me just as he always has. If anything, I'm the one who pushes him away! I'm not comfortable with the way I look and I don't want that to reflect on our relationship.

My friend Ivy and I have recently started trying to buckle down and lose weight together. We are starting a work-out schedule and trying to stick with it. I just feel like it would really help to have some more moral support. I would greatly appreciate any tips or ideas anyone can give me!

So here's my health bio: Just recently stopped smoking, which probably is the cause of most of my weight gain. I have replaced cigarettes with food. I have a heart condition, a slight arrythmia (irregular heart beat). I had sudden cardiac arrest when I was 17 as a result of not dying (go me) I have a internal defibrillator (kind of like a pacemaker but not really) which will shock me if my heart goes into another cardiac arrest or my heart beat gets too high (219 bpm I think). I have had the thing shock me before while working out, but it's been replaced since then with a newer, better model but I still freak out sometimes and tend to not push myself on cardio. I drink beer and wine (classy huh?) about once a week. I'm poor but not broke (husband's finishing up school remember?) so it's hard to not hit up the $1 menu.

PLEASE HELP ME! I JUST WANT TO FEEL COMFORTABLE NAKED AGAIN! Seriously, I can't even stand to look at my body in the mirror anymore. After I shower I avoid mirrors like the plague until I get myself covered. Sorry to be so blunt...